Although the deadline for the next Mormon Bachelorette wannabees is TODAY, word on the streets of Salt Lake County is that someone is already bragging that her role as the new Bachelorette is already a done deal.
Look familiar?
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
And the Winner Is . . .
For all those of you who thought "The Final Rose" recap was as exciting as life gets, we hate to disappoint you. But we thought his pick and the video of Bachelor Rick's pick was underwhelming at best. Sure, we were somewhat surprised by his choice of the final lady (We thought Jane had it in the bag. Poor, poor, Jane. We feel for her.). And is it just us or does Melanie look an awful lot like Hailey Duff? Seriously, like she could be a stunt double for her. What is it with Rick dating these teenage celebrity look alikes (although for the record, Sam really looked NOTHING like Miley, but still)? I'm really struggling getting through all 10 minutes plus of this video. Maybe Melanie has some spare Red Bulls she can lend me since she apparently didn't drink her's today. She just doesn't seem her usual bubbly, totally energetic, bouncing down the Walmart aisles self. Although it's probably safe to say she and Rick may have had a lot of late nights together. ;) Anyone else love Melanie's comments about what attracted her to Rick? Particularly the comment about how most "professional" guys are more serious and focused on their careers, but just by looking at Rick's pictures you can tell he is more focused on fun. Uhh, hello, Melanie? Earth to Melanie? Are you there, Melanie? That's because he's SINGLE! Duh. Most "professionals" at his age are long since married and therefore less focused on "fun." Okay, just about made it to the end here without going into a coma. Red roses from a supermarket. Nice touch, Rick! Walmart, perhaps? Oh dear. And those heart shirts? Also oh dear and also possibly from Walmart. At this point Melanie is probably wondering what she just got herself into. It was just one date at Walmart, Rick! Buying jewelry from Tiffany's is still okay!
Back to Rick's intro before he revealed he chose one of the Duff sisters to date. I'm sure Melanie is glad to know she was part of "just a numbers game." Most girls like to think fate has something to do with it. So, what do we think fate has in store for this new "complicated" couple (or so says Rick's facebook status)? Will they be a Matt and Aubrey and be engaged tomorrow? We're gonna say not a chance, unless Bachelor Rick is ready to drop his title of "bachelor" sooner than we anticipate and he's convincing enough that he can be Melanie's sugar daddy, and put her through school (which probably doesn't need much convincing. What Mormon girl would turn down marrying a dentist, even if his romance revolves around Walmart?). But, we've been known to be wrong before. And surprised. Very, very surprised (STILL surprised. Really, Jane, we're so sorry, but we just know an even cooler non-red headed bachelor is out there for you).
Also, can we just state the obvious here: Bachelor Rick did not need to be the Mormon Bachelor to find Melanie. He already knew her and had already asked her out. She was just a dumb girl filled with dumb excuses. So was the choice to have Mr. Buck become TMB totally a waste? Not to end on a negative note, but yeah, kinda.
Well, folks, until next time . . .
Back to Rick's intro before he revealed he chose one of the Duff sisters to date. I'm sure Melanie is glad to know she was part of "just a numbers game." Most girls like to think fate has something to do with it. So, what do we think fate has in store for this new "complicated" couple (or so says Rick's facebook status)? Will they be a Matt and Aubrey and be engaged tomorrow? We're gonna say not a chance, unless Bachelor Rick is ready to drop his title of "bachelor" sooner than we anticipate and he's convincing enough that he can be Melanie's sugar daddy, and put her through school (which probably doesn't need much convincing. What Mormon girl would turn down marrying a dentist, even if his romance revolves around Walmart?). But, we've been known to be wrong before. And surprised. Very, very surprised (STILL surprised. Really, Jane, we're so sorry, but we just know an even cooler non-red headed bachelor is out there for you).
Also, can we just state the obvious here: Bachelor Rick did not need to be the Mormon Bachelor to find Melanie. He already knew her and had already asked her out. She was just a dumb girl filled with dumb excuses. So was the choice to have Mr. Buck become TMB totally a waste? Not to end on a negative note, but yeah, kinda.
Well, folks, until next time . . .
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Angie Again!
Date #2 with Angie: Has Bachelor Rick gone on the last 2nd date of his life? Could he have found true love by now? The suspense is killing us!
Even though our Peruvian gal pal Angie fulfils Bachelor Rick's inner Rock Star dreams, we do have to point out one thing from the start. Since we gave a couple of other dates crud for being little wittle babies, it's only fair to point out that Angie may be younger than all of them since she just graduated from high school a mere two years ago. So a date filled with video games is appropriate for this little girl (raise your hand if you think Angie is wearing a bump it!).
"Can you see yourself in a relationship with me?" is probably not the direction Bachelor Rick wanted this date to go with Angie. Good grief. How's he supposed to answer that one with the cameras rolling? He takes the high road and says "Of course, that's why we're out on a second date! It's not fake! I wanted to go out on a second date, so . . . possibly." But what he was really thinking is "Oh crap! What do I say, what do I say? I wanted a second date with you, but that's it! So possibly. But possibly NOT! Dang these women!"
Angie is totally into Bachelor Rick. And Bachelor Rick is totally into Angie. Not. Definitely not. Sorry, Angie. All kidding aside though, we think Angie is a doll and we hope she finds the guy she is looking for minus any exes attached.
Even though our Peruvian gal pal Angie fulfils Bachelor Rick's inner Rock Star dreams, we do have to point out one thing from the start. Since we gave a couple of other dates crud for being little wittle babies, it's only fair to point out that Angie may be younger than all of them since she just graduated from high school a mere two years ago. So a date filled with video games is appropriate for this little girl (raise your hand if you think Angie is wearing a bump it!).
"Can you see yourself in a relationship with me?" is probably not the direction Bachelor Rick wanted this date to go with Angie. Good grief. How's he supposed to answer that one with the cameras rolling? He takes the high road and says "Of course, that's why we're out on a second date! It's not fake! I wanted to go out on a second date, so . . . possibly." But what he was really thinking is "Oh crap! What do I say, what do I say? I wanted a second date with you, but that's it! So possibly. But possibly NOT! Dang these women!"
Angie is totally into Bachelor Rick. And Bachelor Rick is totally into Angie. Not. Definitely not. Sorry, Angie. All kidding aside though, we think Angie is a doll and we hope she finds the guy she is looking for minus any exes attached.
Sara O. Again
Date #2 with Sara O.: What's this outfit Rick is showing up in? Is that a rainbow on his t-shirt? Good thing he's looking for a wife, because he could sure use some help in the outfitting department. He's the Mormon Bachelor and a rainbow tee gives entirely the wrong message to poor Sara (but probably the right message to their dance instructor). Speaking of the MJ instructor, he looks reminscent of my favorite lost boy in the movie Hook. Go ahead and make fun of me for even remembering what the lost boys look like in that movie. Also, Sara must be pretty confident in her dancing abilities because she states that compared to Michael Jackson she is probably a 5. Doesn't Sara realize that compared to Michael Jackson's dancing, anyone else is probably starting at a big fat ZERO? Surprisingly, even though Bachelor Rick knocks his own dancing ability, he is pretty good but seems to be taking it all a tad too seriously.
The highlight of this date is neither Rick Buck nor Sara O. It's the old man busting out his MJ on the dance floor in a weird jiggly non-MJish sort of way. But it is still the highlight.
Sara O. is a super cute gal and she seems really chill and fun loving. We like that. Bachelor Rick says he likes that. So what's the problem? Is there a problem? We want to be her friend, but unfortunately, we think that's all Bachelor Rick wants, too.
The highlight of this date is neither Rick Buck nor Sara O. It's the old man busting out his MJ on the dance floor in a weird jiggly non-MJish sort of way. But it is still the highlight.
Sara O. is a super cute gal and she seems really chill and fun loving. We like that. Bachelor Rick says he likes that. So what's the problem? Is there a problem? We want to be her friend, but unfortunately, we think that's all Bachelor Rick wants, too.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Melanie Again
Date #2 with Melanie: Oh, it's Melanie again. Ms. I-can't-go-out-with-you-because-I'm-moving-to-Ohio-and-it-would-be-too-too-dramatic-to-date-you-before-I-go-so-I'll-make-it-even-more-dramatic-by-turning-you-down-and-only-going-out-with-you-when-you-become-the-Mormon-Bachelor! Yes, THAT Melanie. Hi, Melanie!
I'm going to go out on a whim here and assume this second date was in order long before Melanie could catch her flight back to Ohio, where cute single boys apparently don't exist. I'm starting to wonder about all the single LDS men out there. A majority of these girls are from out of town, all for a date with Bachelor Rick. Either men need to get with the times, or Bachelor Rick is just that good of a catch. Either way, one thing's for certain on this date, Rick was up for having a good time, even when the original plans fell through. How many times have we heard that one already? If we were rating dates off of creativity points, which we're not, we would have easily given it a high 10. The movie idea was great, and surprisingly entertaining to watch. I don't know about you, but boy, I'm glad they decided to stand in the shower, drench themselves, and then go stand outside in the freezing cold, just so they could reenact a scene from the Notebook. How many times do you think they had to redo that scene? All I can say is, thank goodness they ended the scene there, it could have gotten pretty intense after that. But like Bachelor Rick informed on a few dates ago, this is The Mormon Bachelor, not The Mormon Player, in case we were confused.
The chemistry is definitely alive with these two. So I guess the question remains, will it be enough to make the Rickmeister choose Melanie to be his Valentine? Or will the reality of Melanie moving to Utah for school be too big of a thorn in Ricky's side for him to endure (or another excuse for Melanie not to date him?)?
Speaking of school/students, is it just us or do about 75% of Bachelor Rick's dates so far seem to be students? Either they are all super young or they aren't young at all and we're hoping they're getting their Ph.D.s or D.D.S's at this point in their lives. What dentist wants to date/marry someone still getting their undergrad? We're just sayin' . . .
I'm going to go out on a whim here and assume this second date was in order long before Melanie could catch her flight back to Ohio, where cute single boys apparently don't exist. I'm starting to wonder about all the single LDS men out there. A majority of these girls are from out of town, all for a date with Bachelor Rick. Either men need to get with the times, or Bachelor Rick is just that good of a catch. Either way, one thing's for certain on this date, Rick was up for having a good time, even when the original plans fell through. How many times have we heard that one already? If we were rating dates off of creativity points, which we're not, we would have easily given it a high 10. The movie idea was great, and surprisingly entertaining to watch. I don't know about you, but boy, I'm glad they decided to stand in the shower, drench themselves, and then go stand outside in the freezing cold, just so they could reenact a scene from the Notebook. How many times do you think they had to redo that scene? All I can say is, thank goodness they ended the scene there, it could have gotten pretty intense after that. But like Bachelor Rick informed on a few dates ago, this is The Mormon Bachelor, not The Mormon Player, in case we were confused.
The chemistry is definitely alive with these two. So I guess the question remains, will it be enough to make the Rickmeister choose Melanie to be his Valentine? Or will the reality of Melanie moving to Utah for school be too big of a thorn in Ricky's side for him to endure (or another excuse for Melanie not to date him?)?
Speaking of school/students, is it just us or do about 75% of Bachelor Rick's dates so far seem to be students? Either they are all super young or they aren't young at all and we're hoping they're getting their Ph.D.s or D.D.S's at this point in their lives. What dentist wants to date/marry someone still getting their undergrad? We're just sayin' . . .
Jane Again
Date #2 with Janey: Ahh. The redheads reunite in the Red Apple at long last! I mean Big Apple! And is it just us or did that first head shot of Jane totally look like a petite girl version of Bachelor Rick? We didn't notice that on the first date. You've no doubt heard the phenomenon of likes attracting likes. So that explains the chemistry.
Okay, did Bachelor Rick plan ANY of these second dates? We thought he was supposed to plan ALL of them and it doesn't look like he's planned a one of them so far. Granted he's at a disadvantage not living in NYC and all, but still. There's this database of endless ideas called the Internet that could have aided him in his date planning. So instead of doing something special in NYC, they go the tacky tourist route and head to the M&M Store in Times Square. Does anyone out there really even like M&M's all that much? Now get me to a cake truffle factory and now we're talking. Oh wait. Bachelor Rick already did that. After some romancing on top of the Rock and some frollicking at a water fountain, the two get their red hair, er lips, even more fired up and hold each other til the wee, frigid hours of the morning. Okay, we don't really know if they did that, but we're just guessing.
So the chemistry is clearly strong (which as we now know is all Bachelor Rick is really looking for) and we think Jane is definitely in the running for that Valentine's Day date after all.
Okay, did Bachelor Rick plan ANY of these second dates? We thought he was supposed to plan ALL of them and it doesn't look like he's planned a one of them so far. Granted he's at a disadvantage not living in NYC and all, but still. There's this database of endless ideas called the Internet that could have aided him in his date planning. So instead of doing something special in NYC, they go the tacky tourist route and head to the M&M Store in Times Square. Does anyone out there really even like M&M's all that much? Now get me to a cake truffle factory and now we're talking. Oh wait. Bachelor Rick already did that. After some romancing on top of the Rock and some frollicking at a water fountain, the two get their red hair, er lips, even more fired up and hold each other til the wee, frigid hours of the morning. Okay, we don't really know if they did that, but we're just guessing.
So the chemistry is clearly strong (which as we now know is all Bachelor Rick is really looking for) and we think Jane is definitely in the running for that Valentine's Day date after all.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Andrea Again
Date #2 with Andrea: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did Bachelor Rick just take a little skip, hop and jump across the country to go out with this woman? She must be cooler than we thought for a guy to make that kind of effort. We do have to say one thing here. This is the first date in many, maybe ever, that we actually had fun watching and didn't have to look away in that whole "I'm so embarassed for them, so I'm going to look away and pretend I didn't see that" kinda thing. It looked like it had energy, Andrea seems cool, and shock of all shocks, Bachelor Rick and Andrea actually make a fairly attractive couple. And if you think about it, these two would be quite the Mormon powerhouse couple. He a dentist and she a government official. Just think of it!
One downer was that Bachelor Rick went all the way out to our nation's capital and it seems they spent the majority of his time there decorating cakes. I mean, that's cool and all but if I flew 3000-plus miles to somewhere new, I'd at least want to take in the sights. I guess spending time with his date was the point of it, but still, can't imagine a guy wanting to spend a couple hours frosting a cake . . . speaking of which, can someone make the cake lady shut up, please? Oh geez. We get it, you're excited TMB is frosting your cakes. But seriously, what is it with the married folk thinking they have to convince the single folk that being married is awesome? As if every single LDS girl/guy out there is turning down marriage proposals left and right all because they think being single is superior (the people who fit that genre are few and far between). They get it already!
The Super Bowl party seemed hoppin'--I wonder how many girls tried to pick up on Bachelor Rick there? Any takers? Footage of the monuments in their nocturnal glory was great but we're confused why Bachelor Rick didn't kiss her? Did he need another kiss-cam? Talk about some romantic kissing spots. He mentioned in his date-recap that he wanted to make sure there was chemistry between the two (and then failed to mention it again. So was there or wasn't there? Rick?) and that it is often more difficult to determine if there is any on a second date. What planet is this guy from? If you don't know if there's chemistry by the second date, maybe that's a bad sign. Of course, there is more to a relationship than just hormones and kettle drums. Or something like that. Actually, I have no idea what I just said. I don't even know what a kettle drum is. So I'll just offer one final thought: Throughout this whole TMB process, we have wondered multiple times why some (not all) of these girls are still single. This date just reaffirmed that thought because Andrea seems like she has a lot going for her. Okay, that really is our final thought except I just wanted to throw in one more kettle drums just because. Okay, now that's all. I'm done. I think . . . except one last thing: can someone who is now on good terms with the cake chef please have her send us some of those cake truffles?
One downer was that Bachelor Rick went all the way out to our nation's capital and it seems they spent the majority of his time there decorating cakes. I mean, that's cool and all but if I flew 3000-plus miles to somewhere new, I'd at least want to take in the sights. I guess spending time with his date was the point of it, but still, can't imagine a guy wanting to spend a couple hours frosting a cake . . . speaking of which, can someone make the cake lady shut up, please? Oh geez. We get it, you're excited TMB is frosting your cakes. But seriously, what is it with the married folk thinking they have to convince the single folk that being married is awesome? As if every single LDS girl/guy out there is turning down marriage proposals left and right all because they think being single is superior (the people who fit that genre are few and far between). They get it already!
The Super Bowl party seemed hoppin'--I wonder how many girls tried to pick up on Bachelor Rick there? Any takers? Footage of the monuments in their nocturnal glory was great but we're confused why Bachelor Rick didn't kiss her? Did he need another kiss-cam? Talk about some romantic kissing spots. He mentioned in his date-recap that he wanted to make sure there was chemistry between the two (and then failed to mention it again. So was there or wasn't there? Rick?) and that it is often more difficult to determine if there is any on a second date. What planet is this guy from? If you don't know if there's chemistry by the second date, maybe that's a bad sign. Of course, there is more to a relationship than just hormones and kettle drums. Or something like that. Actually, I have no idea what I just said. I don't even know what a kettle drum is. So I'll just offer one final thought: Throughout this whole TMB process, we have wondered multiple times why some (not all) of these girls are still single. This date just reaffirmed that thought because Andrea seems like she has a lot going for her. Okay, that really is our final thought except I just wanted to throw in one more kettle drums just because. Okay, now that's all. I'm done. I think . . . except one last thing: can someone who is now on good terms with the cake chef please have her send us some of those cake truffles?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Beana Again
Date #2 with Beana: After watching this date and reading what Bachelor Rick had to say about it, we have come to this conclusion: these two have good buddy chemistry and that is about all. Not to say Beana isn't a cute girl. Because she is. We totally dig her style. But we see Bachelor Rick introducing her more as "This is my awesome friend, Beana" rather than "This is my girlfriend, Beana." Maybe it's the fact that she goes by the name "Beana"? The nickname seems to lend itself to more of a funny girl/always going to be the friend and never the girlfriend kinda vibe. It's like a guy going by the name "Bubba" or something similar. What girl can take that seriously even if the guy is super cool? And the worst thing for a girl (or guy for that matter) is when everyone loves them and thinks they're the coolest person ever yet no one wants to date them, or at least not seriously. That's the WORST (especially for their parents)! The bad news is that we think Beana might fit in that category (at least as far as Bachelor Rick is concerned). The good news is there is hope. Eventually that "always a friend/totally awesome person" will meet someone with just the right amount of unique traits who can overcome that friend hurdle. So we feel for Beana, but that's our opinion and we're sticking to it.
Oh, and last but not least we give them a 10 for their ice skating performance! Wait a second--totally just remembered that a few Olympics back the Russians changed the scoring system to one that no longer makes any logical sense. So we give them a 4.9785 instead!
Oh, and last but not least we give them a 10 for their ice skating performance! Wait a second--totally just remembered that a few Olympics back the Russians changed the scoring system to one that no longer makes any logical sense. So we give them a 4.9785 instead!
Melissa Again
2nd date with Melissa: Yaaaawn. Oh. Pardon me. I must have fallen alseep for a minute. Dang! An hour!?! That date really put me out. Maybe it was a combination of the boring video and the fact that we already have our theories on how this whole TMB thing is going to end, but we really hit a snoozer there! Seriously though, this was probably one of those really random but totally fun dates that just didn't get edited very well. So it's not Melissa's fault. We'll blame it on the camera guy and a song choice that didn't do much to liven it up.
Despite Bachelor Rick's blinding shirt (don't worry, Richard, a wife will hopefully be able to help you with that), he is right about one thing. This chicca seems cool, so it's no doubt he feels cool around her. Does Bachelor Rick not usually go out with cool girls? He says he doesn't feel this way often. I guess that's what this whole experiment is for. To get someone exposed to people they normally wouldn't think to expose themselves to? Maybe? He also states that he pays more attention to how a girl makes him feel rather than her actual qualities. Hmmm. Maybe that's why he's not married yet? A good combo of the two is what's usually key there, dear Bachelor. But back to the date at hand . . . this is boring, this date was boring, Bachelor Rick is probably not ready to become a father right off the bat, and even though Melissa is cool, we see this relationship ending at their goodbye hug.
Despite Bachelor Rick's blinding shirt (don't worry, Richard, a wife will hopefully be able to help you with that), he is right about one thing. This chicca seems cool, so it's no doubt he feels cool around her. Does Bachelor Rick not usually go out with cool girls? He says he doesn't feel this way often. I guess that's what this whole experiment is for. To get someone exposed to people they normally wouldn't think to expose themselves to? Maybe? He also states that he pays more attention to how a girl makes him feel rather than her actual qualities. Hmmm. Maybe that's why he's not married yet? A good combo of the two is what's usually key there, dear Bachelor. But back to the date at hand . . . this is boring, this date was boring, Bachelor Rick is probably not ready to become a father right off the bat, and even though Melissa is cool, we see this relationship ending at their goodbye hug.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Samantha Again
Date #2 with Sam: Have you ever said something in front of a date that you immediately regretted? Better yet, have you ever said something on camera that you wish you could un-record? Well, what if both happened, but you didn't really regret what you said, and in fact encouraged the camera man to throw it into the final cut? That leads us to our date with Rick. We're not sure if that particular scenario holds true, but it sounds about right.
Bachelor Rick starts his date with Sam by telling the cameraman that he hopes he can get more action again. Classy, Rick. If I were Sam I would run outside, slap you hard, and then run back inside and lock my door. Of course, Sam won't know he actually said that until she watches the date online herself at a later time and place. And, of course, perhaps Sam isn't the kind of girl who would be bothered by the fact that the first thing a guy says right before they go out is that he's hoping for more action. We really don't know. Sam? Personally, I would think the guy was a slimeball, but that's just me. Speaking of action though, viewers sure got some! Lights. Camera. ACTION! Our dear actress wasn't messing around/kidding with this pirate business. We were kinda hoping she was. And then kinda knew she wasn't but still way deep down inside kinda hoped it was all just some weird joke so that our standard notion of thespians being, well, how do we say it--a little cuckoo?--would be wrong and we could go on just assuming she was a normal cute, talented girl who once had an acting gig as a pirate and then moved on with her life. So now we're just not sure what to make of Cap'n Sam and her pirate club. And we're also not sure what to make of Bachelor Rick for what he makes of Cap'n Sam and her pirate club. It should seem a little obvious that this date idea wasn't TMB's first choice but that Cap'n Sam wanted to show off her mad pirate skills and talked him into it.
We won't deny that Sam's a cutie. She's obviously got some talent and confidence to go along with it--all qualities attractive to men. But let's dig a little deeper into this date idea. Those readers out there who went to BYU will no doubt remember the infamous medieval sword club practicing on the quad outside of the Wilkie. You all know what you thought of that! Well, dare I say that a pirate club kinda-sorta falls into the same category? Bachelor Rick's recap mentioned Cap'n Sam getting judged more harshly than the other TMB dates. We feel bad about that. We do. But, just to be fair Ricky, none of the other girls also dress up as pirates in their spare time (except maybe on Halloween). So, it kinda just comes with the territory. No? Okay, seriously though, we get it. No one should be judged unfairly and for her sake and the sake of being sugary sweet, we could stop right here and say how awesome we thought the pirate boot camp was and that Bachelor Rick made for one great One-eyed Ricky. But he didn't. Capri's just weren't his thing. At. All. Sorry, Rick. We'll even go so far as saying the skinny jeans in a previous date beat out those knickers. And while we know that pirates arrrg humans too, it was almost painful to watch. I even winced a couple times.
But, we will judge no further. Perhaps these pirating skills are the very trait Bachelor Rick has been looking for all these years and unable to find. So, has he found his buried treasure? When all is said and done, Rick got exactly what he set out for. Action. And for that, we say, well done, Rick. Well done.
Bachelor Rick starts his date with Sam by telling the cameraman that he hopes he can get more action again. Classy, Rick. If I were Sam I would run outside, slap you hard, and then run back inside and lock my door. Of course, Sam won't know he actually said that until she watches the date online herself at a later time and place. And, of course, perhaps Sam isn't the kind of girl who would be bothered by the fact that the first thing a guy says right before they go out is that he's hoping for more action. We really don't know. Sam? Personally, I would think the guy was a slimeball, but that's just me. Speaking of action though, viewers sure got some! Lights. Camera. ACTION! Our dear actress wasn't messing around/kidding with this pirate business. We were kinda hoping she was. And then kinda knew she wasn't but still way deep down inside kinda hoped it was all just some weird joke so that our standard notion of thespians being, well, how do we say it--a little cuckoo?--would be wrong and we could go on just assuming she was a normal cute, talented girl who once had an acting gig as a pirate and then moved on with her life. So now we're just not sure what to make of Cap'n Sam and her pirate club. And we're also not sure what to make of Bachelor Rick for what he makes of Cap'n Sam and her pirate club. It should seem a little obvious that this date idea wasn't TMB's first choice but that Cap'n Sam wanted to show off her mad pirate skills and talked him into it.
We won't deny that Sam's a cutie. She's obviously got some talent and confidence to go along with it--all qualities attractive to men. But let's dig a little deeper into this date idea. Those readers out there who went to BYU will no doubt remember the infamous medieval sword club practicing on the quad outside of the Wilkie. You all know what you thought of that! Well, dare I say that a pirate club kinda-sorta falls into the same category? Bachelor Rick's recap mentioned Cap'n Sam getting judged more harshly than the other TMB dates. We feel bad about that. We do. But, just to be fair Ricky, none of the other girls also dress up as pirates in their spare time (except maybe on Halloween). So, it kinda just comes with the territory. No? Okay, seriously though, we get it. No one should be judged unfairly and for her sake and the sake of being sugary sweet, we could stop right here and say how awesome we thought the pirate boot camp was and that Bachelor Rick made for one great One-eyed Ricky. But he didn't. Capri's just weren't his thing. At. All. Sorry, Rick. We'll even go so far as saying the skinny jeans in a previous date beat out those knickers. And while we know that pirates arrrg humans too, it was almost painful to watch. I even winced a couple times.
But, we will judge no further. Perhaps these pirating skills are the very trait Bachelor Rick has been looking for all these years and unable to find. So, has he found his buried treasure? When all is said and done, Rick got exactly what he set out for. Action. And for that, we say, well done, Rick. Well done.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
2nd Dates
Our thoughts on the 2nd date picks:
Jane Madsen: The two clearly had chemistry, so it's no shock that TMB wants to see her again. What is shocking is that he's flying to New York to see her again (at least we assume that's what "he's going on a road trip" means). Look out Big Apple, another Big Apple is coming your way (okay, bad red head joke)!
Samantha Goodsell: Arrr, matie! Okay. Since it has been reported that these two dated prior to TMB becoming TMB, it's no shock that he wants to give it another go. And just in case she's actually thinking about it, Sam, PLEASE, for the love, we'd absolutely love to see your pirate bit one last time. Pretty please--just for kicks?
Melissa Lundquist: Even though this date was one of the last few, I already forgot who this girl was. Sad. Sorry, Melissa! I guess it's obvious I was surprised by this pick.
Angie Pita: Okay, seriously? This isn't a joke? Good for Angie and those heals, I guess. Either using the language skills from the mish took TMB back to a time and place where life was simpler, or maybe those crepes were better than we thought.
Melanie Carney: Another date with Ms. Red Bull. Definitely saw this one coming. Maybe this time they'll go someplace classier so TMB will feel more comfortable kissing her.
Sara Olds: Somewhat shocked by this one. She was a cute girl but she didn't leave a huge impression on us. I guess the Club 33 hookup must have left a bigger impression on TMB than we realized.
Andrea Candrian: Since he's going all the way to NYC, I guess he might as well travel to D.C. while he's at it. Looking forward to some fun-lovin' time in the nation's capital.
...and the crowd favorite?
Beana Hathaway: Come on, the "crowd" favorite or TMB's family favorite? My guess is they'll be taking advantage of Ms. Friendly Skies' buddy passes.
Who are we surprised he didn't pick?: Ms. Arizona MASH girl (she just looked like his type, you know?), and kinda sorta surprised he didn't want to see his hockey game kiss-cam buddy again. Of course, history doesn't have to repeat itself. There's no guarantee TMB will pick any of the girls listed above to be the future Mrs. TMB. Maybe he'll fly to Arizona or elsewhere to sneak a few dates in sans cameras? Afterall, this is love, folks. And in the game of love there are no rules.
What do you think about his 2nd date choices? Were you surprised by any he chose or didn't choose?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
#22 Melanie
Melanie C.: Melanie, you ball of energy, you, the words to an appopriate love song come to mind: "Now we're standing face to face. Isn't this world a crazy place? Just when I thought our chance had passed, you go and save the best for last." Thanks for giving Bachelor Rick a second chance. But did he really save the best for last?
Date Recap: The very last of Bachelor Rick's first dates starts off at the beach where he meets up with a pint size blonde ball of energy named Melanie. Since the two kinda-sorta know/knew/once met each other, the date starts with a big reunion hug and Mel reveals that they're going to be doing a little photo shoot around the beach, develop the photos and then place said photos in the picture frames at Walmart. Okay. Sounds like a fun plan. Luckily, the two have quite the crazy personalities that work for something like this. Would this date idea have worked with previous dates? Possibly. But with a certain geologist, artist or latina, it just may have been all the more awkward. The two take all sorts of silly engagementesque type pictures and are having a ball doing it. At least you can tell our new friend here is. Seriously, do you think she drank one of those five-hour energy drinks before the date? She seems a little hyper. Maybe she just had some pent-up energy built up from her flight over? Oh and what's this? Mel reveals her father wanted to speak with Bachelor Rick before the date. On behalf of all of us, but mostly on behalf of Bachelor Rick, thanks for putting that phone call on-hold for awhile, Melanie. But don't worry, her dad sent a t-shirt along. Oh dear. "CTR girl." Translate: Choose the Right girl. Bachelor Rick chooses to take the nice way out of this one and actually puts the shirt on. Good for you for being a good sport, Richard. But of course when you're THE Mormon Bachelor and you can tell your date is so excited about something that you think is kinda lame, you have no choice but to go with it for their sake. Oh, and until we can truly determine how strong Bachelor Rick is, ladies it's probably best to refrain from running and jumping into his arms from here on out. Seriously, what is it with these ladies? Although he has improved somewhat with the staggering backward/almost dropping the girl since the last run and jump attempt back at date #11. After the two are done taking mock-proposal pictures Melanie feels the need to show us a text she just reveived: "CTR!" Okay, come on now. It wasn't even funny the first time. But Melanie is still really enthused about it. While they wait to get the photos developed, they eat at a Japanese cook-your-own meat kinda place where the grills appear to resemble a common home-heating vent. Bachelor Rick wins Melanie over with his magic jumping toothpick trick. Maybe the conversation was lagging? From there Melanie literally bounces down the aises of Walmart unable to contain herself. Calm down there, Melanie. Take a deep breath. She's quite enthused over these pictures, but it's all going to be okay. I promise your idea is your own and no one is going to beat you to the photo aisle with their own photos. Easy now. The two complete the Walmart photo frame makeovers and head out to the parking lot for a goodbye hug. No goodbye kiss? I know, we were disappointed, too.
First Impression: Wow. This girl had some fire in her, didn't she? Whooo! WHOOO! Okay, I think I got it all out. Just one more comment: Umm, ahem. Melanie? Have you ever heard of the concept of a camisole? You're low cut tee is cute but revealing a tad more than we want to see, although I'm sure Bachelor Rick didn't mind.
Second Date Potential: From Bachelor Rick's date recap we know he had asked Melanie out previously (just how long ago, we're not sure) and she turned him down. Ouch! Will he get back at her by not asking her out again? Rick doesn't really seem like that kinda guy, but you never know. But what kind of girl turns a guy down on a date because she's moving in a week? That's so weird. It's just a date. Who cares if you're moving in a week? He didn't ask her to marry him (yet, anyway)! We don't get that. If there's a date # 2 maybe Mel can explain that to us?
TMB Excitement Level: Bachelor Rick is definitely attracted to Melanie and sees some potential, otherwise he never would have asked her out in the first place. That's not hard to follow. However, I will say this. He didn't kiss her and he totally could have. He claims it's because she was too cute to kiss in a Walmart parking lot. But we don't buy that. Come on, he kissed Sam #1 at a ghetto neighorhood amusement park for goodness sake, so he can't use that excuse on us. If a guy wants to kiss a girl he's not going to care where it is. In fact, wouldn't it be a really funny story someday to tell your kids, "Our first kiss was in a Walmart parking lot"?
Creativity: Because she's the last date and because her date idea actually was really awesome, we're going to dish out our first ever 10 even though the restaurant idea probably wasn't the best since if she had of watched even one of his previous dates she probably would have known he doesn't like to cook (if someone eats out over 90% of the time, it can't really be that he simply doesn't know how to cook. He's got to outright hate it.).
Final Thoughts: Melanie, you confuse me. You turned Bachelor Rick down for a date when he asked you out because you were moving to Ohio a week later but then something must have happened in Ohio when you saw that your lost-love was going to be the Mormon Bachelor, like perhaps feelings of regret started creeping up inside of you and you thought wait, he asked me out, so he can't go out with all these other girls, don't they know he asked ME out--he did and they can't have him, so you decided even though you had turned him down earlier because you were moving to Ohio and you never stop to think that maybe Rick thought that it was lame that you turned him down just because you were moving to Ohio and that you hurt his feelings all because of OHIO, you think that it must be okay to fly FROM Ohio to take Rick out on a date because maybe you had feelings for him afterall and you really, really need to redeem yourself so that Rick will like you again and not hate you for turning him down just because you were moving to Ohio, so you decided that yeah, I will fly back to California from Ohio to go out with him because I was dumb for not going out with him earlier and there are just no men in Ohio that compare to Dr. Buck and darn me for turning him down while I was in California because now I have to fly all the way from Ohio to go out with him when I just could have gone out with him when I was actually in California in the first place and we could have been married by now and I could be back in California married to a dentist instead of sitting here in dang Ohio!!! Dumb me, dumb me, dumb me! Life is rough, isn't it Melanie? Let this be a lesson to all of us.
Date Recap: The very last of Bachelor Rick's first dates starts off at the beach where he meets up with a pint size blonde ball of energy named Melanie. Since the two kinda-sorta know/knew/once met each other, the date starts with a big reunion hug and Mel reveals that they're going to be doing a little photo shoot around the beach, develop the photos and then place said photos in the picture frames at Walmart. Okay. Sounds like a fun plan. Luckily, the two have quite the crazy personalities that work for something like this. Would this date idea have worked with previous dates? Possibly. But with a certain geologist, artist or latina, it just may have been all the more awkward. The two take all sorts of silly engagementesque type pictures and are having a ball doing it. At least you can tell our new friend here is. Seriously, do you think she drank one of those five-hour energy drinks before the date? She seems a little hyper. Maybe she just had some pent-up energy built up from her flight over? Oh and what's this? Mel reveals her father wanted to speak with Bachelor Rick before the date. On behalf of all of us, but mostly on behalf of Bachelor Rick, thanks for putting that phone call on-hold for awhile, Melanie. But don't worry, her dad sent a t-shirt along. Oh dear. "CTR girl." Translate: Choose the Right girl. Bachelor Rick chooses to take the nice way out of this one and actually puts the shirt on. Good for you for being a good sport, Richard. But of course when you're THE Mormon Bachelor and you can tell your date is so excited about something that you think is kinda lame, you have no choice but to go with it for their sake. Oh, and until we can truly determine how strong Bachelor Rick is, ladies it's probably best to refrain from running and jumping into his arms from here on out. Seriously, what is it with these ladies? Although he has improved somewhat with the staggering backward/almost dropping the girl since the last run and jump attempt back at date #11. After the two are done taking mock-proposal pictures Melanie feels the need to show us a text she just reveived: "CTR!" Okay, come on now. It wasn't even funny the first time. But Melanie is still really enthused about it. While they wait to get the photos developed, they eat at a Japanese cook-your-own meat kinda place where the grills appear to resemble a common home-heating vent. Bachelor Rick wins Melanie over with his magic jumping toothpick trick. Maybe the conversation was lagging? From there Melanie literally bounces down the aises of Walmart unable to contain herself. Calm down there, Melanie. Take a deep breath. She's quite enthused over these pictures, but it's all going to be okay. I promise your idea is your own and no one is going to beat you to the photo aisle with their own photos. Easy now. The two complete the Walmart photo frame makeovers and head out to the parking lot for a goodbye hug. No goodbye kiss? I know, we were disappointed, too.
First Impression: Wow. This girl had some fire in her, didn't she? Whooo! WHOOO! Okay, I think I got it all out. Just one more comment: Umm, ahem. Melanie? Have you ever heard of the concept of a camisole? You're low cut tee is cute but revealing a tad more than we want to see, although I'm sure Bachelor Rick didn't mind.
Second Date Potential: From Bachelor Rick's date recap we know he had asked Melanie out previously (just how long ago, we're not sure) and she turned him down. Ouch! Will he get back at her by not asking her out again? Rick doesn't really seem like that kinda guy, but you never know. But what kind of girl turns a guy down on a date because she's moving in a week? That's so weird. It's just a date. Who cares if you're moving in a week? He didn't ask her to marry him (yet, anyway)! We don't get that. If there's a date # 2 maybe Mel can explain that to us?
TMB Excitement Level: Bachelor Rick is definitely attracted to Melanie and sees some potential, otherwise he never would have asked her out in the first place. That's not hard to follow. However, I will say this. He didn't kiss her and he totally could have. He claims it's because she was too cute to kiss in a Walmart parking lot. But we don't buy that. Come on, he kissed Sam #1 at a ghetto neighorhood amusement park for goodness sake, so he can't use that excuse on us. If a guy wants to kiss a girl he's not going to care where it is. In fact, wouldn't it be a really funny story someday to tell your kids, "Our first kiss was in a Walmart parking lot"?
Creativity: Because she's the last date and because her date idea actually was really awesome, we're going to dish out our first ever 10 even though the restaurant idea probably wasn't the best since if she had of watched even one of his previous dates she probably would have known he doesn't like to cook (if someone eats out over 90% of the time, it can't really be that he simply doesn't know how to cook. He's got to outright hate it.).
Final Thoughts: Melanie, you confuse me. You turned Bachelor Rick down for a date when he asked you out because you were moving to Ohio a week later but then something must have happened in Ohio when you saw that your lost-love was going to be the Mormon Bachelor, like perhaps feelings of regret started creeping up inside of you and you thought wait, he asked me out, so he can't go out with all these other girls, don't they know he asked ME out--he did and they can't have him, so you decided even though you had turned him down earlier because you were moving to Ohio and you never stop to think that maybe Rick thought that it was lame that you turned him down just because you were moving to Ohio and that you hurt his feelings all because of OHIO, you think that it must be okay to fly FROM Ohio to take Rick out on a date because maybe you had feelings for him afterall and you really, really need to redeem yourself so that Rick will like you again and not hate you for turning him down just because you were moving to Ohio, so you decided that yeah, I will fly back to California from Ohio to go out with him because I was dumb for not going out with him earlier and there are just no men in Ohio that compare to Dr. Buck and darn me for turning him down while I was in California because now I have to fly all the way from Ohio to go out with him when I just could have gone out with him when I was actually in California in the first place and we could have been married by now and I could be back in California married to a dentist instead of sitting here in dang Ohio!!! Dumb me, dumb me, dumb me! Life is rough, isn't it Melanie? Let this be a lesson to all of us.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
#21 Samantha
Samantha A.: Samantha #2! Holla to Sam #1 (Do you think she reads Reality Mormon?)! Answer me this: Do you think when Bachelor Rick was telling producers what kind of women to pick for his dates, from the no doubt hundreds of applications that poured in, he told them "I like girls named Sara and girls named Samantha--get on it stat!"? The last Sam set a pretty high bar. Let's see if this Sam can measure up.
Date Recap: Any date that starts off with Pink's "Raise Your Glass" as the video theme music you know is going to be rockin'! The song gives off all sorts of energetic vibes! And how nice that the editors even bleeped out the potty words for us. Now is probably as good a time as any to thank them for all the hard work they've done on these past 21 dates. They've tagged along on bike riding excursions, horse back riding ventures, TV game shows, shooting ranges, countless theme parks, countless restaurants, and logged countless miles traveling all over the southern California map. Gee thanks, guys (and girls)! We are tempted to feel bad for you but since we know this whole TMB thing was probably your idea, we won't extend our sympathies just yet. But back to the date before I forget it all and have to go watch the video again (as fun as the date seemed, I really don't want to watch it again and I think you know why). Any date that starts off with a rose giveaway in true Bachelor style is going to be rockin'! Oh wait, I already said that. But seriously, is this the first girl to give away a rose? I was about to give her props but then I realized that's Bachelor Rick's duty as TMB. Isn't that what the Bachelor is all about? Why have faithful viewers been denied their rose ceremonies? Producers? We hope you know we expect more from you on the second dates. But, back to this date. Mr. Sportsman Rickamania says he wishes he knew more about the Kings, since that is the game they are headed to on their date. We sure wish we knew more about the Kings, too. We also wish we knew why Sam here is apparently the only "sports fan" in existence that doesn't know that posters are banned from sporting events. Of course we know that Rick knows this and is just going with the flow as to not quell any of the dates initial "don't be fancy, just get dancey" vibe. Rick also tries to play it off when Sam admits she would have rather gone to a Laker's game: "Oh whatever! This is great!" (Even though we heard him loud and clear, another thanks to the editors for throwing in some captions for us so we can read this as well.). We would have rather seen them at a Laker's game, too, but we suspect those tickets probably cost above the $50 TMB date cap. It would have been fun to watch a date scalp for tickets beforehand though. I'm sure that talent alone would have won any guy's heart. After the poster making is out of the way, the two go to a grocery store to pick up dinner. At least we are spared from any further restaurant footage on this date, so thank you Sam for that. After the two down their sandwiches and Sun Chips, we FINALLY get to the game! I can't be the only one thinking "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" It looks like Sam scored some pretty sweet seats to the game--and the two have fun making out on the "Kiss Cam!" Oh wait. They saved the make-out for after the game, pardon me. Holy smokes. Look away! Look away! This is supposed to be G-rated stuff here, folks, and that kiss was borderline! Maybe that was Sam's fault? We're seeing an assertive Sam pattern here, so I dunno. One thing we do know is that Sam's hookups got Bachelor Rick hooked-up for sure! In fact, that might have been a little too much kissey-kissey for the cameras. Was Rick looking for cavities in there?
First Impression: Okay, I seriously cannot be the only one who thought she looked like Erin from The Office. Seriously. Tell me I'm not the only one (can she just start dating Andy again already?)! As a result I expected her to be a little ditzy and quirky and maybe she was a tad. Maybe she was. You all know this is just my opinion, right? It's not like it's a fact.
Surprises: Another out of towner. We thought we were done with those. These poor ladies! Apparently L.A. is the only place for a single LDS girl to get a date these days. Cincinnati and East Coast boys need to get their act together because they are letting some seriously awesome ladies slip away (if Bachelor Rick has anything to do with it--and we think he does)!
TMB Excitement level: As you may have noticed, sometimes I forget this category. After 20-plus dates you tend not to remember everything. So my feelings on this are that had Erin, I mean Sam, not totally set up the kiss-cam kiss, there would have been no kiss at all (hand holding goes without saying, of course). But since she did, Rick totally took advantage of it, because what hormonal, single at nearly 30, LDS guy wouldn't? So although there was a lot of lip action, I really wouldn't be surprised if it was just a one-time havin' fun, caught up in the moment kinda thing.
Second Date Potential: We hope Sam used mouth rinse before the date since they did nothing short of make-out on camera. If he doesn't give this girl a second chance he will hereby be known as Loose-lips Ricky or Lip-Lovin' Buckmin' or Dr. Too Much Lovin' or something along those lines. But see my comments above for why I'm not really holding my breath for a second date.
Creativity: I'm done giving out numbers. She was the first girl to take TMB to a sporting event. Is that an original idea? Not really. But is it original as far as these TMB dates go? Yes. So good job, Sammy! Also, good job on setting up the kiss-cam scenario. We're not sure what kind of hoops you had to jump through for that one, but way to go for putting fate in your own hands!
Final Thoughts: Rick, just remember, call Sam up if you want gangsta, okay? Or if you want to go to Cincinnati. Or if you want to try out your new method for checking for cavities again.
Date Recap: Any date that starts off with Pink's "Raise Your Glass" as the video theme music you know is going to be rockin'! The song gives off all sorts of energetic vibes! And how nice that the editors even bleeped out the potty words for us. Now is probably as good a time as any to thank them for all the hard work they've done on these past 21 dates. They've tagged along on bike riding excursions, horse back riding ventures, TV game shows, shooting ranges, countless theme parks, countless restaurants, and logged countless miles traveling all over the southern California map. Gee thanks, guys (and girls)! We are tempted to feel bad for you but since we know this whole TMB thing was probably your idea, we won't extend our sympathies just yet. But back to the date before I forget it all and have to go watch the video again (as fun as the date seemed, I really don't want to watch it again and I think you know why). Any date that starts off with a rose giveaway in true Bachelor style is going to be rockin'! Oh wait, I already said that. But seriously, is this the first girl to give away a rose? I was about to give her props but then I realized that's Bachelor Rick's duty as TMB. Isn't that what the Bachelor is all about? Why have faithful viewers been denied their rose ceremonies? Producers? We hope you know we expect more from you on the second dates. But, back to this date. Mr. Sportsman Rickamania says he wishes he knew more about the Kings, since that is the game they are headed to on their date. We sure wish we knew more about the Kings, too. We also wish we knew why Sam here is apparently the only "sports fan" in existence that doesn't know that posters are banned from sporting events. Of course we know that Rick knows this and is just going with the flow as to not quell any of the dates initial "don't be fancy, just get dancey" vibe. Rick also tries to play it off when Sam admits she would have rather gone to a Laker's game: "Oh whatever! This is great!" (Even though we heard him loud and clear, another thanks to the editors for throwing in some captions for us so we can read this as well.). We would have rather seen them at a Laker's game, too, but we suspect those tickets probably cost above the $50 TMB date cap. It would have been fun to watch a date scalp for tickets beforehand though. I'm sure that talent alone would have won any guy's heart. After the poster making is out of the way, the two go to a grocery store to pick up dinner. At least we are spared from any further restaurant footage on this date, so thank you Sam for that. After the two down their sandwiches and Sun Chips, we FINALLY get to the game! I can't be the only one thinking "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" It looks like Sam scored some pretty sweet seats to the game--and the two have fun making out on the "Kiss Cam!" Oh wait. They saved the make-out for after the game, pardon me. Holy smokes. Look away! Look away! This is supposed to be G-rated stuff here, folks, and that kiss was borderline! Maybe that was Sam's fault? We're seeing an assertive Sam pattern here, so I dunno. One thing we do know is that Sam's hookups got Bachelor Rick hooked-up for sure! In fact, that might have been a little too much kissey-kissey for the cameras. Was Rick looking for cavities in there?
First Impression: Okay, I seriously cannot be the only one who thought she looked like Erin from The Office. Seriously. Tell me I'm not the only one (can she just start dating Andy again already?)! As a result I expected her to be a little ditzy and quirky and maybe she was a tad. Maybe she was. You all know this is just my opinion, right? It's not like it's a fact.
Surprises: Another out of towner. We thought we were done with those. These poor ladies! Apparently L.A. is the only place for a single LDS girl to get a date these days. Cincinnati and East Coast boys need to get their act together because they are letting some seriously awesome ladies slip away (if Bachelor Rick has anything to do with it--and we think he does)!
TMB Excitement level: As you may have noticed, sometimes I forget this category. After 20-plus dates you tend not to remember everything. So my feelings on this are that had Erin, I mean Sam, not totally set up the kiss-cam kiss, there would have been no kiss at all (hand holding goes without saying, of course). But since she did, Rick totally took advantage of it, because what hormonal, single at nearly 30, LDS guy wouldn't? So although there was a lot of lip action, I really wouldn't be surprised if it was just a one-time havin' fun, caught up in the moment kinda thing.
Second Date Potential: We hope Sam used mouth rinse before the date since they did nothing short of make-out on camera. If he doesn't give this girl a second chance he will hereby be known as Loose-lips Ricky or Lip-Lovin' Buckmin' or Dr. Too Much Lovin' or something along those lines. But see my comments above for why I'm not really holding my breath for a second date.
Creativity: I'm done giving out numbers. She was the first girl to take TMB to a sporting event. Is that an original idea? Not really. But is it original as far as these TMB dates go? Yes. So good job, Sammy! Also, good job on setting up the kiss-cam scenario. We're not sure what kind of hoops you had to jump through for that one, but way to go for putting fate in your own hands!
Final Thoughts: Rick, just remember, call Sam up if you want gangsta, okay? Or if you want to go to Cincinnati. Or if you want to try out your new method for checking for cavities again.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Date #20 Melissa
Melissa L..: The big 2-0! Date 20, people. Only two more dates to go after today's date. What a relief! Have they saved the best for last? I can tell from the get-go that Melissa here is quite adorable, and thanks to Rick's recap, we learn that this girl doesn't have to do anything creative or out of the box on this date, she's a single mom, and that right there sets her apart. Do we think the single mom factor will be too much for Ricky to go from Bachelor to Daddy? Let's find out.
Date Recap: This dates starts out at Dana Point Harbor. The weather looks perfect, the harbor looks calm, and Bachelor Rick seems pumped and ready for the adventure ahead. The Rickmiester gives us a little heads up going into this date when he mentions to us that, "This one tonight--this is the one." Woah, there Bachelor Rick, that's quite the bold statement for someone you haven't even met yet. What are you trying to tell the other 19 ladies? Already giving up on them? Looks like Rick really is ready to go from bachelor to family man just like that. Daddy Rick is clearly excited to meet this girl, as he prances over to greet her, and gives her a big hug. We'll blame the prancing on his flip flops. This girl's cute. Okay, more like hot. The half-on, half-off wetsuit look is really working for her. She informs Rick that they're going to go paddle boarding, and awkward laugh and all, I think he's excited about it. Or nervous that she'll show him up. Either way, I'm sure he's just glad he has a hot chick as an instructor. The two help each other get dressed in their wetsuits, and Rick doesn't fail to point out that the back of her wetsuit reads: "Batwing." Maybe it is a match made in heaven. Oh wait, Ricks' not obsessed with Batman, remember, just the bat-mobile. Still, it might be a sign. Melissa then gives the Rickmiester a few simple demonstrations on how paddle boarding works before they embark out to sea to put his skills to work. Seeing that Rick informs us he only fell once, either Melissa's a good instructor, Rick's a fast learner, or paddle boarding really isn't that difficult to learn. Just stand and row. After their paddle boarding sesh, the two head off into the sunset to enjoy the tide pool, and seaweed. As a yoga and pilates instructor, we won't question her health habits, nor will we question her oversized t-shirt nearly falling off of her body. The yoga and pilates industry is something I've never understood. Daddy Rick can't let Melissa one up him again, so he mans up and tries some seaweed as well. His face says it all. I'm starting to wonder if Melissa here is too spunky and cute for our Bachelor here? They do get some cuddle action in as they walk off into the sunset. But we all know the hand holding says it all. They hug--a rather long hug--goodbye, and I can't help but wonder if Richard here is thinking what I'm thinking: Will the suburban become the new buckmobile?
First Impression: She's cute and has a rockin body, even after having a kid, and that's just impressive. But when a man's really interested in a girl who had a kid, shouldn't he at least mention he wants to meet her son? Kind of like Brad does to psycho SLC girl Melissa, and overly-cute and sweet Emily? Looks like you CAN learn a lesson or two from Bachelor Brad, Bachelor Rick.
Second Date Potential: Let's be honest here for a second. The two had fun together. They enjoyed each other's company. Rick looked like he had fun "learning" new things, and even trying new foods, brussel sprouts and seaweed in one day. That's life altering (though probably for just a day) for our Mr. 95% eater-outer. You just don't find those kinds of foods on the dollar menu. However, He did mention that he normally steers away from the single mom thing, and no matter how cute this girl is, and she is really cute, I just don't think Rick wants to be calling himself Daddy just yet.
TMB Excitement Level: Let's not forget he started off the date saying tonight's girl is "the one." So, the excitement level definitely started off high here but we'll still be surprised if he gives this single mom another chance (or maybe he will to show he's open to new things?).
Date Creativity: The first date at the beach. I thought we'd have plenty of these dates by now, we had plenty of theme park dates instead. I give this date an 8. I mean they did go paddle boarding at Dana Point Harbor, and she was his teacher. Props to her.
Final Thoughts: Melissa, we like you. You're a hair stylist, student, yoga and pilates instructor; you paddle board, and you look like one cool mama. We were starting to think some of the best dates were long behind us but this one won us over. Not saying he's going to pick you, but you can hold your own.
Date Recap: This dates starts out at Dana Point Harbor. The weather looks perfect, the harbor looks calm, and Bachelor Rick seems pumped and ready for the adventure ahead. The Rickmiester gives us a little heads up going into this date when he mentions to us that, "This one tonight--this is the one." Woah, there Bachelor Rick, that's quite the bold statement for someone you haven't even met yet. What are you trying to tell the other 19 ladies? Already giving up on them? Looks like Rick really is ready to go from bachelor to family man just like that. Daddy Rick is clearly excited to meet this girl, as he prances over to greet her, and gives her a big hug. We'll blame the prancing on his flip flops. This girl's cute. Okay, more like hot. The half-on, half-off wetsuit look is really working for her. She informs Rick that they're going to go paddle boarding, and awkward laugh and all, I think he's excited about it. Or nervous that she'll show him up. Either way, I'm sure he's just glad he has a hot chick as an instructor. The two help each other get dressed in their wetsuits, and Rick doesn't fail to point out that the back of her wetsuit reads: "Batwing." Maybe it is a match made in heaven. Oh wait, Ricks' not obsessed with Batman, remember, just the bat-mobile. Still, it might be a sign. Melissa then gives the Rickmiester a few simple demonstrations on how paddle boarding works before they embark out to sea to put his skills to work. Seeing that Rick informs us he only fell once, either Melissa's a good instructor, Rick's a fast learner, or paddle boarding really isn't that difficult to learn. Just stand and row. After their paddle boarding sesh, the two head off into the sunset to enjoy the tide pool, and seaweed. As a yoga and pilates instructor, we won't question her health habits, nor will we question her oversized t-shirt nearly falling off of her body. The yoga and pilates industry is something I've never understood. Daddy Rick can't let Melissa one up him again, so he mans up and tries some seaweed as well. His face says it all. I'm starting to wonder if Melissa here is too spunky and cute for our Bachelor here? They do get some cuddle action in as they walk off into the sunset. But we all know the hand holding says it all. They hug--a rather long hug--goodbye, and I can't help but wonder if Richard here is thinking what I'm thinking: Will the suburban become the new buckmobile?
First Impression: She's cute and has a rockin body, even after having a kid, and that's just impressive. But when a man's really interested in a girl who had a kid, shouldn't he at least mention he wants to meet her son? Kind of like Brad does to psycho SLC girl Melissa, and overly-cute and sweet Emily? Looks like you CAN learn a lesson or two from Bachelor Brad, Bachelor Rick.
Second Date Potential: Let's be honest here for a second. The two had fun together. They enjoyed each other's company. Rick looked like he had fun "learning" new things, and even trying new foods, brussel sprouts and seaweed in one day. That's life altering (though probably for just a day) for our Mr. 95% eater-outer. You just don't find those kinds of foods on the dollar menu. However, He did mention that he normally steers away from the single mom thing, and no matter how cute this girl is, and she is really cute, I just don't think Rick wants to be calling himself Daddy just yet.
TMB Excitement Level: Let's not forget he started off the date saying tonight's girl is "the one." So, the excitement level definitely started off high here but we'll still be surprised if he gives this single mom another chance (or maybe he will to show he's open to new things?).
Date Creativity: The first date at the beach. I thought we'd have plenty of these dates by now, we had plenty of theme park dates instead. I give this date an 8. I mean they did go paddle boarding at Dana Point Harbor, and she was his teacher. Props to her.
Final Thoughts: Melissa, we like you. You're a hair stylist, student, yoga and pilates instructor; you paddle board, and you look like one cool mama. We were starting to think some of the best dates were long behind us but this one won us over. Not saying he's going to pick you, but you can hold your own.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Date #19, Tina
Tina B: Okay, which was more awkward: a) Rick's recap of the date, b) Rick's description of Tina in his recap or c) watching the video itself? Tina, you're endearing, but we'd be lying if we didn't say all of the above made us wince just a little.
Date Recap: We're going to give you a recap, but you have to promise not to look away, okay? It's going to be hard. At least it was for us. Here we go, deep breath... in... out...: the video kicks off with Tina explaining who she is and the dating journey she and Rickmania are about to embark on together. (This SNL skit may or may not come to mind as she introduces herself at the door as Tina.) We immediately think she must want her own cooking show to tack onto her already unusual resume, because she attempts to slice and dice a little as she tells us that immediately following dinner the two will be heading to a fireside! Can I get a what, WH-AT?! Fireside action! However, before we can head to the fireside, we must listen to what can only be described as gut-wrenching awkward conversation unfold at the dinner table. Please correct us if this is an inaccurate description. We learn Tina is/was a volunteer firefighter. And then she asks Rick, "So, what kind of stuff do you like to do?" Tina, Tiiiiinaaaaaa, have you not been watching any of the other dates?! We already know what Bachelor Rick likes to do. Nonetheless, he proceeds to tell us of his deep affection for karaoke. And then he gives us a sampling of his favorite Meatloaf song while singing into a spoon. And just when we want to close the internet browser and run away and hide, finally, the moment we have been waiting for: the fireside. We were hoping Rick would use his spywatch to show us that he holds Tina's hand during the emotional fireside, but he must have been caught in the moment. So, we will never know what really went down inside the chapel. And then, it happens. Right before Tina and TMB exit the building, lo and behold like a breath of fresh air after a dusty twister rips through Kansas, there they are sitting on the foyer couch, Mr. and Soon-to-be-Mrs. Matt Laidlaw. Matt gives a head nod and a "Rick, wassup, man." Wow. So good to see those two. It must have been fate that they were the only people left in the entire building as date 19 exited on camera at that exact moment. Glad to know the happy couple is still involved with YSA activities. Matt and Aubrey, your days are numbered. Soak in the YSA fun while you're still Y and SA. Let us continue. The date is not over yet. No, a delicious chocolate cake is still waiting to be consumed. But not before Tina discovers a note left by TMB staffers, "Dear Rick and Tina, Should you decide to forego your individual blankets, please use this Snuggie to keep each other warm. Sincerely, TMB Staffers." Please, date, end, just end. But it doesn't. We continue to watch them eat cake, and NOT use the snuggie. Ouch, Rick.
First Impressions: First impression from the video? Darling girl, but do people from Virginia have southern accents? According to this, supposedly some do. So, we won't mock. Or first impression from Rick's blog? Yes, Rick, we know it must be awfully hard to keep 22 girls straight. At least you gave us some information about this girl. The others are all still mysteries. Our favorite line of Rick's blog entry was that he couldn't believe Tina would come so far on the day before her b-day to a place she's never been to spend it with him. Thanks Rick. We also couldn't believe your last date came so far 29 days before her birthday, and the date before that 97 days after her mom's birthday. What?!
Second Date Potential: Unless Rick can convince TMB staffers to set a building ablaze for a second date, we aren't going to hold our breath.
TMB Excitement Level: Horse gymnastics. We will say no more.
Date Creativity: It was Sunday after all, so we'll be generous here. When was the last time you went on a date to a fireside? One that Matt and Aubrey attended? Okay then.
Final Thoughts: Rick, don't take California for granted. Or girls.
Date Recap: We're going to give you a recap, but you have to promise not to look away, okay? It's going to be hard. At least it was for us. Here we go, deep breath... in... out...: the video kicks off with Tina explaining who she is and the dating journey she and Rickmania are about to embark on together. (This SNL skit may or may not come to mind as she introduces herself at the door as Tina.) We immediately think she must want her own cooking show to tack onto her already unusual resume, because she attempts to slice and dice a little as she tells us that immediately following dinner the two will be heading to a fireside! Can I get a what, WH-AT?! Fireside action! However, before we can head to the fireside, we must listen to what can only be described as gut-wrenching awkward conversation unfold at the dinner table. Please correct us if this is an inaccurate description. We learn Tina is/was a volunteer firefighter. And then she asks Rick, "So, what kind of stuff do you like to do?" Tina, Tiiiiinaaaaaa, have you not been watching any of the other dates?! We already know what Bachelor Rick likes to do. Nonetheless, he proceeds to tell us of his deep affection for karaoke. And then he gives us a sampling of his favorite Meatloaf song while singing into a spoon. And just when we want to close the internet browser and run away and hide, finally, the moment we have been waiting for: the fireside. We were hoping Rick would use his spywatch to show us that he holds Tina's hand during the emotional fireside, but he must have been caught in the moment. So, we will never know what really went down inside the chapel. And then, it happens. Right before Tina and TMB exit the building, lo and behold like a breath of fresh air after a dusty twister rips through Kansas, there they are sitting on the foyer couch, Mr. and Soon-to-be-Mrs. Matt Laidlaw. Matt gives a head nod and a "Rick, wassup, man." Wow. So good to see those two. It must have been fate that they were the only people left in the entire building as date 19 exited on camera at that exact moment. Glad to know the happy couple is still involved with YSA activities. Matt and Aubrey, your days are numbered. Soak in the YSA fun while you're still Y and SA. Let us continue. The date is not over yet. No, a delicious chocolate cake is still waiting to be consumed. But not before Tina discovers a note left by TMB staffers, "Dear Rick and Tina, Should you decide to forego your individual blankets, please use this Snuggie to keep each other warm. Sincerely, TMB Staffers." Please, date, end, just end. But it doesn't. We continue to watch them eat cake, and NOT use the snuggie. Ouch, Rick.
First Impressions: First impression from the video? Darling girl, but do people from Virginia have southern accents? According to this, supposedly some do. So, we won't mock. Or first impression from Rick's blog? Yes, Rick, we know it must be awfully hard to keep 22 girls straight. At least you gave us some information about this girl. The others are all still mysteries. Our favorite line of Rick's blog entry was that he couldn't believe Tina would come so far on the day before her b-day to a place she's never been to spend it with him. Thanks Rick. We also couldn't believe your last date came so far 29 days before her birthday, and the date before that 97 days after her mom's birthday. What?!
Second Date Potential: Unless Rick can convince TMB staffers to set a building ablaze for a second date, we aren't going to hold our breath.
TMB Excitement Level: Horse gymnastics. We will say no more.
Date Creativity: It was Sunday after all, so we'll be generous here. When was the last time you went on a date to a fireside? One that Matt and Aubrey attended? Okay then.
Final Thoughts: Rick, don't take California for granted. Or girls.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Date #18: Brittany
Brittany P.: We already know from her application video that she is a huge fan of Batman, rocks out to Justin Timberlake, is skilled at word-play, and is in some secret society for people with black-rimmed glasses that think they are super-heros (Dungeons and Dragons club?). We also learn that she is super cute and obviously has a fun personality. Will that be enough to win over Buckaroo?
Date Recap: Shall I begin with a recap of Mr. Buckaroo's recap? Where he was basically like, you know those marathon dates where you do too many exciting things? This was the exact opposite. Thanks for setting my expectations low, Buckman, so that when I got to the part where you were trying on outfits I was actually entertained. I thought I was going to have to endure 3 minutes of watching you two do nothing but eat and talk about The Jazz and BYU basketball. So, the night starts off with him picking her up (another twinner, yay!) and she explains that they are going out to eat at The Roadkill House. Oh, wait, no, Yarhouse. Oh, wait, I mean The Yard House. Once there they got stuck with a 1.5 hour wait, so I am left wondering if this part was actually even planned out before he asked her what they were doing. ("Oh, right, I am in charge!") Or perhaps the long wait was intended? Otherwise I am not sure what else would have happened besides dinner and then a goodbye hug? That 1.5 hour wait bought us some good time killing scenes while they watched a random restaurant band (what, no dancing to the stoned little drummer boy?), and then the most exciting part of the evening where they walked to a nearby Macy's and tried on mustard tight pants (Baby's Got Buck!), a v-neck Christmas sweater (I'm a little worried that they both actually liked this one), a leopard print dress (did she actually put on those leopard print panties under the dress?), and a Glee outfit. Props for the creative time killing idea. I'm sure they eat some food after this, but then, true to Buck's recap of the non-marathon date (a 3k walk date, perhaps?), the video cuts to some conversation in her parking lot and the walk back to her front door where it all ends with "Well, I had fun!" and a well-I-had-fun hug.
First Impressions: Cute girl who looks even cuter by Rick's side (awwww, those matching glasses are just irresistible!). But they almost seem to get along the way one might get along with a gay friend. Cute together, fun, and good conversation -- and all with the comfort of knowing that it's not going anywhere.
Second Date Potential: Nada. Sorry Brittany, but I think you're going to have to find another guy to think about while you listen to Justin Timberlake. And you deserve a good one, but after seeing the sparks fly in previous dates, and zero hand-holding action here, I would be a very puzzled professional TMB analyst and resign from my job here at Reality Mormon if I am wrong on this one.
TMB Excitement Level: Oh, I am still excited! Over the tight pants, that is. Not so much from any love-connection on this date.
Date Creativity: Well, the date was dinner at a restaurant, right? I sense that there was something extra special about this one, but besides the spaced out drummer guy, I wasn't sure what else was going on there besides food. Since the most creative part -- the Macy's fashion show -- was his idea, I don't think this one even makes the charts. Perhaps she was trying to be different by going opposite the stereotypical Mormon marathon date, which inherently makes it the opposite of creative.
Final Thoughts: Let's see, their final thoughts on the interview were about which of the Jonas Brothers they would most like to date. And I think it is fair to say that the likelihood of them dating one of the Jonas Brothers exceeds the likelihood that they will date each other. But, I really hope they do continue to keep in touch through that secret society of super-hero black rimmed glasses wearers. Maybe as a superhero he will have a good excuse to hop back into the tight pants and she into that leopard print dress. Hot.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Date #17: Jamie
Jamie R.: You may remember Jamie from her uniquely animated application video. If you don't remember her, don't worry, you probably won't see her around again on TMB, so it's no biggie. Okay, that was mean. In all reality, Jamie is a geologist and she rocks! (How often do you think she hears that joke?)
Date recap: Where to begin with this one? . . . Bachelor Rick starts the evening off by saying he's feeling something good in the air and he's at the Santa Monica Pier, so how can it not be good? Oh Rick. You set yourself up for that one. How can it not be good? Let us count the ways . . . cliche/touristy pier, lame rides, and weird street performers begging for money. Do we need to continue? How about we just continue on with the date? Okay. Things don't get much better, however, when Bachelor Rick and Jamie meet up further down the pier and Bachelor Rick really gets things going with the instant date killer line "Are you excited? Yeah? Me, too." All of which sounds completely lackluster with a hint of sarcasm. What did poor Jamie do to deserve that? She just flew all the way out from Colorado to go out with you! Speaking of which, is it just us, or does somehow traveling from Colorado seem slightly weirder than traveling from the East Coast? And it's thousands of miles closer to L.A., so how does that work? Does it have something to do with the awkward....pause. Hold that thought. Let me look up another word for "awkward"--I feel like even though it's fitting, we use that word way too much around here. Okay, got it. Discomfited. This date is only made more discomfited by the girly scream Bachelor Rick emits on one of the rides. After a few more lame-dash-o rides, the two head over to Third Street to watch some street performers. Now is your chance to stop the video and rewind as many times as you see fit to watch some majorly discomfited dancing. See that dancing? Yeah? Whoo hooo! We now know the real reason these two are white. Shoot. I mean single. We now know the real reason these two are still single. After some more dancing and more hand holding the two browse through some shelves of Crocs and we want to shout out "Back away from the crocs! Keep it moving, keep it moving!" Crocs were not cool when they came out last decade and they are STILL not cool . . . we wonder if Bachelor Rick owns any? The date ends with some ice cream and a foot rub. Don't jump to conclusions though, because the foot rub is done by a machine and not Bachelor Rick's hands. You can't blame him though--those hands have to work in people's mouths!
First impression: I'll let you in on a little secret. Usually upon spotting a new date on TMB's website I will read Bachelor Rick's recap of the date first and THEN watch the video. Rebellious, I know. I can usually tell within the first paragraph just how the date is going to go and if Rick is into his date or not. Since he started out this recap by saying "Geology! So many ways I could go with that" we instantly knew Rick was just trying to be nice. Because, come on now, so many ways to go with geology? No, sorry, there really aren't that many ways you can go with geology. Although I'm sure Jamie could prove us wrong. Rick goes onto say "In geology, one of the hardest components to predict accurately is the earth’s climate change." How does Rick know this? Did he just google it? Because we all know the only thing any of us remember from our middle school geology classes is that there are three types of rocks. I'm all for learning new info and stimulating conversations but if this is what Richard took away from the date we know it was doomed from the get-go. So, unfortunately, our first impression of this date just couldn't be high after reading all of that. Although for the record, after actually watching the date our opinion of Jamie skyrocketed. She was a cute girl, obviously smart, and she gets a pat on the back just for coming out from Colorado and for having a unique occupation. Jamie, we like you. Okay? Even if this recap suggests otherwise. It's not you, it's the date.
Second date potential: Slim to Moderate. Maybe Bachelor Rick would fly out to Colorado for a second date, but we're not predicting so.
TMB excitement level: We detected more of a "friend" level of excitement in Bachelor Rick's post-date interview. He enjoyed Jamie's company, and she obviously enjoyed Rick's, but we don't think there was a lot of romantic chemistry there. Sorry, Jamie. We know you had fun. And we had fun watching you. Trust us.
Date creativity: Santa Monica Pier is probably not the first thing that would cross my mind in planning a date (see reasons above), but it's what Jamie thought of, so we'll give her a three just because we truly do like her and think she's a nice girl who deserves more than a one.
Final thoughts: Why did Jamie apply to be on TMB? We feel questions like this could answer a lot about these girls. Are there no men in Colorado? Are there no men in Arizona? Are there no men on the East Coast? At least no attractive LDS men with any sort of potential? I'm sure a lot of them would answer "I just did it for fun!" Uh-huh. You expect us to believe that? Fill us in ladies, we need to know these things before we can accurately judge why you traveled such distances to go on a single date with Bachelor Rick! Thank you. That is all.
Date recap: Where to begin with this one? . . . Bachelor Rick starts the evening off by saying he's feeling something good in the air and he's at the Santa Monica Pier, so how can it not be good? Oh Rick. You set yourself up for that one. How can it not be good? Let us count the ways . . . cliche/touristy pier, lame rides, and weird street performers begging for money. Do we need to continue? How about we just continue on with the date? Okay. Things don't get much better, however, when Bachelor Rick and Jamie meet up further down the pier and Bachelor Rick really gets things going with the instant date killer line "Are you excited? Yeah? Me, too." All of which sounds completely lackluster with a hint of sarcasm. What did poor Jamie do to deserve that? She just flew all the way out from Colorado to go out with you! Speaking of which, is it just us, or does somehow traveling from Colorado seem slightly weirder than traveling from the East Coast? And it's thousands of miles closer to L.A., so how does that work? Does it have something to do with the awkward....pause. Hold that thought. Let me look up another word for "awkward"--I feel like even though it's fitting, we use that word way too much around here. Okay, got it. Discomfited. This date is only made more discomfited by the girly scream Bachelor Rick emits on one of the rides. After a few more lame-dash-o rides, the two head over to Third Street to watch some street performers. Now is your chance to stop the video and rewind as many times as you see fit to watch some majorly discomfited dancing. See that dancing? Yeah? Whoo hooo! We now know the real reason these two are white. Shoot. I mean single. We now know the real reason these two are still single. After some more dancing and more hand holding the two browse through some shelves of Crocs and we want to shout out "Back away from the crocs! Keep it moving, keep it moving!" Crocs were not cool when they came out last decade and they are STILL not cool . . . we wonder if Bachelor Rick owns any? The date ends with some ice cream and a foot rub. Don't jump to conclusions though, because the foot rub is done by a machine and not Bachelor Rick's hands. You can't blame him though--those hands have to work in people's mouths!
First impression: I'll let you in on a little secret. Usually upon spotting a new date on TMB's website I will read Bachelor Rick's recap of the date first and THEN watch the video. Rebellious, I know. I can usually tell within the first paragraph just how the date is going to go and if Rick is into his date or not. Since he started out this recap by saying "Geology! So many ways I could go with that" we instantly knew Rick was just trying to be nice. Because, come on now, so many ways to go with geology? No, sorry, there really aren't that many ways you can go with geology. Although I'm sure Jamie could prove us wrong. Rick goes onto say "In geology, one of the hardest components to predict accurately is the earth’s climate change." How does Rick know this? Did he just google it? Because we all know the only thing any of us remember from our middle school geology classes is that there are three types of rocks. I'm all for learning new info and stimulating conversations but if this is what Richard took away from the date we know it was doomed from the get-go. So, unfortunately, our first impression of this date just couldn't be high after reading all of that. Although for the record, after actually watching the date our opinion of Jamie skyrocketed. She was a cute girl, obviously smart, and she gets a pat on the back just for coming out from Colorado and for having a unique occupation. Jamie, we like you. Okay? Even if this recap suggests otherwise. It's not you, it's the date.
Second date potential: Slim to Moderate. Maybe Bachelor Rick would fly out to Colorado for a second date, but we're not predicting so.
TMB excitement level: We detected more of a "friend" level of excitement in Bachelor Rick's post-date interview. He enjoyed Jamie's company, and she obviously enjoyed Rick's, but we don't think there was a lot of romantic chemistry there. Sorry, Jamie. We know you had fun. And we had fun watching you. Trust us.
Date creativity: Santa Monica Pier is probably not the first thing that would cross my mind in planning a date (see reasons above), but it's what Jamie thought of, so we'll give her a three just because we truly do like her and think she's a nice girl who deserves more than a one.
Final thoughts: Why did Jamie apply to be on TMB? We feel questions like this could answer a lot about these girls. Are there no men in Colorado? Are there no men in Arizona? Are there no men on the East Coast? At least no attractive LDS men with any sort of potential? I'm sure a lot of them would answer "I just did it for fun!" Uh-huh. You expect us to believe that? Fill us in ladies, we need to know these things before we can accurately judge why you traveled such distances to go on a single date with Bachelor Rick! Thank you. That is all.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Date #16: Jane
Jane M.: Sweet Sixteen (Relax, people! We're talking about this being Bachelor Rick's 16th date, not the age of one of his earlier dates)!
Date recap: Bachelor Rick picks up Jane and the two embrace. Once they pull away, Bachelor Rick lets New Yorker Jane know "I remember you!" How sweet, Richard! From the pre-existence, perhaps? Oh, just from her TMB audition tape? Dang! Well, little miss Janey came all the way from The Big Apple to go on a date with Mr. TMB, making this his second date to travel all the way from the East Coast. How lucky is this man? Women are willing to go the distance for him. I'm getting chills just thinking about it! What also gives me chills is that present Bachelor Rick is holding in his hand as he walks Janey out to the car. For cute! We have a hunch it might be some NYC exclusives: Levaines Cookies! Oh baby! This guy is even luckier than we thought and just for that act alone, we declare Jane a keeper! If Rick has tried even a nibble of those cookies he will know what a lucky man he is. We don't see any cookies making an appearance in the car ride, but the two soon arrive at Sur La Table for a cooking class! Score #2 for Bachelor Rick, I mean for Janey for helping him out a little! Maybe he'll learn to make something decent for himself so he will no longer have to eat out "95%" of the time. Which brings us to this question: How does Bachelor Rick look as trim as he does with that kind of a statistic? I'm hoping in all of his spare time, he is at the gym. Maybe some of those girls who got long-time hug action can fill us in on how his arms feel? Is he made of steel or some strawberry jell-o? Moving on, the only dish we for sure know these two pre-lovebirds are making (the other dish names were too blurry for us to make out . . . no joke there, people, there's no heat in the kitchen just yet) is some kind of curry soup with chickpeas. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that doesn't seem like a good dish to start with for a man who is used to most of his food being fried in all sorts of oil--or any kind of man for that matter.Whatever. The food doesn't seem to matter because these two are totally into each other as only confirmed by Ms. Cleavage herself (Sur La Table cooking instructor?) that these two look great together. After eating their food, Janey and Rickey take a survey. At first we assume it's a survey to rank their cooking class, but we see the deeper meaning behind it. The two are totally ranking their date and giving each other off the chart scores! At the door, here's a surprise: an awkward kiss for all to behold! Majorly awkward. But don't worry, chances were good that the two saw each other before Janey took off for NYC. So maybe they had a chance to work on that kiss again (you didn't hear it from us. Wait. Yes you did..)
First Impression: We like this big city girl. She was cute. The one thing that totally threw us off was her red hair. Do she and Rick know that if they have babies together the chances of their procreations turning into lots of little redheads is astronomically high!?! These are things you have to think about when you're dating! Also, although we thought this girl was cute, we didn't think she was off the charts cute or even near the cutest date Rick's had so far. But maybe in Rick's eyes she was and that's what a love connection is all about.
Second Date Potential: If our sources are correct, there is definitely going to be a second date. They kissed (and probably kissed some more sans cameras). Perhaps they kissed just so Bachelor Rick could shake off his image of only having kissed a teenager so far, but we think there was more to it than that.
TMB Excitement level: Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby! They had that "moment" in the car, which was probably only a "moment" for Bachelor Rick since Janey did admit she was surprised he kissed her, but still, a moment is a moment, folks and we need to give them credit for that.
Creativity Points: Creativity points for doing something Bachelor Rick desperately NEEDED, no not a kiss with someone of legal age, a cooking lesson! This man is in some dire need of help, ladies. Let this be a lesson to all the ladies who get a second date!
Final Thoughts: Will Rick be a man and go to Jane for the next date or will he make her come back to him? Who wants to see these two kiss on top of the Empire State Building or on a ferry ride out to the Statue of Liberty? Or better yet, go shopping for a knock-off Rolex (are those even cool anymore?) and matching Coach bags (we could see Rick sporting a Coach man purse . . . okay, we take that back. Please don't go there, Rick or in three more years you could end up like Brad, back on the Bachelor. And once was enough. Twice would just be a travesty).
Date recap: Bachelor Rick picks up Jane and the two embrace. Once they pull away, Bachelor Rick lets New Yorker Jane know "I remember you!" How sweet, Richard! From the pre-existence, perhaps? Oh, just from her TMB audition tape? Dang! Well, little miss Janey came all the way from The Big Apple to go on a date with Mr. TMB, making this his second date to travel all the way from the East Coast. How lucky is this man? Women are willing to go the distance for him. I'm getting chills just thinking about it! What also gives me chills is that present Bachelor Rick is holding in his hand as he walks Janey out to the car. For cute! We have a hunch it might be some NYC exclusives: Levaines Cookies! Oh baby! This guy is even luckier than we thought and just for that act alone, we declare Jane a keeper! If Rick has tried even a nibble of those cookies he will know what a lucky man he is. We don't see any cookies making an appearance in the car ride, but the two soon arrive at Sur La Table for a cooking class! Score #2 for Bachelor Rick, I mean for Janey for helping him out a little! Maybe he'll learn to make something decent for himself so he will no longer have to eat out "95%" of the time. Which brings us to this question: How does Bachelor Rick look as trim as he does with that kind of a statistic? I'm hoping in all of his spare time, he is at the gym. Maybe some of those girls who got long-time hug action can fill us in on how his arms feel? Is he made of steel or some strawberry jell-o? Moving on, the only dish we for sure know these two pre-lovebirds are making (the other dish names were too blurry for us to make out . . . no joke there, people, there's no heat in the kitchen just yet) is some kind of curry soup with chickpeas. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that doesn't seem like a good dish to start with for a man who is used to most of his food being fried in all sorts of oil--or any kind of man for that matter.Whatever. The food doesn't seem to matter because these two are totally into each other as only confirmed by Ms. Cleavage herself (Sur La Table cooking instructor?) that these two look great together. After eating their food, Janey and Rickey take a survey. At first we assume it's a survey to rank their cooking class, but we see the deeper meaning behind it. The two are totally ranking their date and giving each other off the chart scores! At the door, here's a surprise: an awkward kiss for all to behold! Majorly awkward. But don't worry, chances were good that the two saw each other before Janey took off for NYC. So maybe they had a chance to work on that kiss again (you didn't hear it from us. Wait. Yes you did..)
First Impression: We like this big city girl. She was cute. The one thing that totally threw us off was her red hair. Do she and Rick know that if they have babies together the chances of their procreations turning into lots of little redheads is astronomically high!?! These are things you have to think about when you're dating! Also, although we thought this girl was cute, we didn't think she was off the charts cute or even near the cutest date Rick's had so far. But maybe in Rick's eyes she was and that's what a love connection is all about.
Second Date Potential: If our sources are correct, there is definitely going to be a second date. They kissed (and probably kissed some more sans cameras). Perhaps they kissed just so Bachelor Rick could shake off his image of only having kissed a teenager so far, but we think there was more to it than that.
TMB Excitement level: Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby! They had that "moment" in the car, which was probably only a "moment" for Bachelor Rick since Janey did admit she was surprised he kissed her, but still, a moment is a moment, folks and we need to give them credit for that.
Creativity Points: Creativity points for doing something Bachelor Rick desperately NEEDED, no not a kiss with someone of legal age, a cooking lesson! This man is in some dire need of help, ladies. Let this be a lesson to all the ladies who get a second date!
Final Thoughts: Will Rick be a man and go to Jane for the next date or will he make her come back to him? Who wants to see these two kiss on top of the Empire State Building or on a ferry ride out to the Statue of Liberty? Or better yet, go shopping for a knock-off Rolex (are those even cool anymore?) and matching Coach bags (we could see Rick sporting a Coach man purse . . . okay, we take that back. Please don't go there, Rick or in three more years you could end up like Brad, back on the Bachelor. And once was enough. Twice would just be a travesty).
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Date #15: Lisa
Lisa W.: Maybe not all of the girls who made a video were pushed to the end. This is a new face to us, but not so for Bachelor Rick, unless he considers Lisa 2.0 new? Are updated versions always new and improved? Let's find out.
Date Recap: Seeing that the theme song for this date is Glee's rendition of "Jump" this date can't be taken too seriously," now can it? I was hoping for a little Glee reenactment with pj's in a mattress store, but the better part of me thought otherwise, knowing only bad things happen late at night. Pj's and a mattress store? We'll save those kinds of things for later, much much later. Back to the date here. This date starts off at Lisa's place of employment, a beauty salon. Seeing that it's "after hours", and it clearly looks like no one is inside Rick's left to question, "Do I just walk in?" Nah, ring the door bell. Rick's really hoping Lisa's idea of a good time isn't a hair cut, seeing that he did just point out to us that he took care of that this morning. Rick, don't you know better than to never tell a date what you're hoping NOT to do? Fifteen dates later and you're still learning. Hopefully by round two you'll be a pro at these things. Back to the salon scene, Lisa, we learn from Rick's recap, is not just Lisa anymore, she's a new and improved "Lisa 2.0." Maybe the new girl has learned to be a bit more forward in her dating quest. She does mention in her subtle, or not so subtle ways, "Sorry, I'm just putting lotion on my hands" . . . hint hint. Looks like she's ready for a little session of Bachelor Rick's infamous hand holding action, or any action really. I hope you brought your A-game. And just like that they're off to a little high school fun at Sky High Sports...I'll leave the sky high jokes behind on this one. Looks like Rick also forgot that mentioning he's on the Mormon Bachelor, to people waiting in line, is still considered awkward, especially when they're teenagers. Had he been in a wife beater it might have been a different story. It definitely would have been different for his perspiration levels. When your body's used to mental push-ups as your main form of exercise and lots of In N' Out as your main means of nourishment, jumping on the tramp is considered quite the workout. I hope Lisa wasn't completely disgusted by you. If there's no PDA tonight, we'll understand why. After watching the two, jump, and jump, and jump, and flip, and toe touch, and jump, and jump, and land in the styrofoam pit time and time again, I got a little bored. We've now covered the bases for amusement parks and acrobatics. Check those off the list. Once Rick discovered his inability to do a back flip, off to Balboa Island they went to indulge in frozen banana's from the banana stand. I wish we could say the two walked away hand in hand, but apparently Ricky didn't pick up on her subtle hint from earlier in the evening, and they just walk away side by side. Poor Lisa. One of the few girls who didn't get to hold Ricky's hand, and imagine for a brief second, that his could have been the last she'd ever have to hold. I guess we all know what that means. I think this is the first date in awhile where there was no real touchy touchy involved, whatsoever. At least they said good bye with high fives, and really, I can't think of a classier way to end a date.
First Impressions: Knowing the two have met before, Rick and Lisa 1.0 that is, and things just weren't there for him, her, or either of them, usually it's a good indicator that things just aren't going to go anywhere the second time around either. Even with the new Rick and Lisa 2.0, I think the verdict remains the same. She had great hair though.
Second Date Potential: Low. I think Lisa is cute, she seems nice, fun, down to earth, and would make a good friend. Unfortunately, even with her new and improved self, I don't think Bachelor Rick was feeling it beyond friendship on this one. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Surprises: Was he excited or bummed to see that it was Lisa? The lack of hand holding, even after she made it apparent she was looking forward to that, or any other PDA for that matter, sure caught me by surprise. Why didn't his signature move come out in this one? Lisa, I really hope you've read the book, or have seen the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You." Vital lessons can be learned from that. You may be cute, but we can't win them all.
TMB Excitement Level: I'm sure he had fun with 2.0, I just don't think it was fun enough that he'd want to spend an entire evening alone with her again. Maybe she'll become his new barber, (do people even use that word anymore?) but I don't think she'll become more than that.
Creativity Points: Since this date was sponsored by the author of "There's no Place Like Home Evening" and this date resembled just that, a BYU FHE, I'm not sure if that was a creative spin-off, or the lack thereof. So, we'll stick with giving her a five and call it good.
Final Thoughts: Bachelor Rick had some strong views on the old version of Lisa and we just don't see him overcoming those. Good luck to you though, Lisa. Most of the time it's not you, it's him. But this time it might be you. Sorry. Just remember, "there's always money in the banana stand."
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
Date Recap: Seeing that the theme song for this date is Glee's rendition of "Jump" this date can't be taken too seriously," now can it? I was hoping for a little Glee reenactment with pj's in a mattress store, but the better part of me thought otherwise, knowing only bad things happen late at night. Pj's and a mattress store? We'll save those kinds of things for later, much much later. Back to the date here. This date starts off at Lisa's place of employment, a beauty salon. Seeing that it's "after hours", and it clearly looks like no one is inside Rick's left to question, "Do I just walk in?" Nah, ring the door bell. Rick's really hoping Lisa's idea of a good time isn't a hair cut, seeing that he did just point out to us that he took care of that this morning. Rick, don't you know better than to never tell a date what you're hoping NOT to do? Fifteen dates later and you're still learning. Hopefully by round two you'll be a pro at these things. Back to the salon scene, Lisa, we learn from Rick's recap, is not just Lisa anymore, she's a new and improved "Lisa 2.0." Maybe the new girl has learned to be a bit more forward in her dating quest. She does mention in her subtle, or not so subtle ways, "Sorry, I'm just putting lotion on my hands" . . . hint hint. Looks like she's ready for a little session of Bachelor Rick's infamous hand holding action, or any action really. I hope you brought your A-game. And just like that they're off to a little high school fun at Sky High Sports...I'll leave the sky high jokes behind on this one. Looks like Rick also forgot that mentioning he's on the Mormon Bachelor, to people waiting in line, is still considered awkward, especially when they're teenagers. Had he been in a wife beater it might have been a different story. It definitely would have been different for his perspiration levels. When your body's used to mental push-ups as your main form of exercise and lots of In N' Out as your main means of nourishment, jumping on the tramp is considered quite the workout. I hope Lisa wasn't completely disgusted by you. If there's no PDA tonight, we'll understand why. After watching the two, jump, and jump, and jump, and flip, and toe touch, and jump, and jump, and land in the styrofoam pit time and time again, I got a little bored. We've now covered the bases for amusement parks and acrobatics. Check those off the list. Once Rick discovered his inability to do a back flip, off to Balboa Island they went to indulge in frozen banana's from the banana stand. I wish we could say the two walked away hand in hand, but apparently Ricky didn't pick up on her subtle hint from earlier in the evening, and they just walk away side by side. Poor Lisa. One of the few girls who didn't get to hold Ricky's hand, and imagine for a brief second, that his could have been the last she'd ever have to hold. I guess we all know what that means. I think this is the first date in awhile where there was no real touchy touchy involved, whatsoever. At least they said good bye with high fives, and really, I can't think of a classier way to end a date.
First Impressions: Knowing the two have met before, Rick and Lisa 1.0 that is, and things just weren't there for him, her, or either of them, usually it's a good indicator that things just aren't going to go anywhere the second time around either. Even with the new Rick and Lisa 2.0, I think the verdict remains the same. She had great hair though.
Second Date Potential: Low. I think Lisa is cute, she seems nice, fun, down to earth, and would make a good friend. Unfortunately, even with her new and improved self, I don't think Bachelor Rick was feeling it beyond friendship on this one. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Surprises: Was he excited or bummed to see that it was Lisa? The lack of hand holding, even after she made it apparent she was looking forward to that, or any other PDA for that matter, sure caught me by surprise. Why didn't his signature move come out in this one? Lisa, I really hope you've read the book, or have seen the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You." Vital lessons can be learned from that. You may be cute, but we can't win them all.
TMB Excitement Level: I'm sure he had fun with 2.0, I just don't think it was fun enough that he'd want to spend an entire evening alone with her again. Maybe she'll become his new barber, (do people even use that word anymore?) but I don't think she'll become more than that.
Creativity Points: Since this date was sponsored by the author of "There's no Place Like Home Evening" and this date resembled just that, a BYU FHE, I'm not sure if that was a creative spin-off, or the lack thereof. So, we'll stick with giving her a five and call it good.
Final Thoughts: Bachelor Rick had some strong views on the old version of Lisa and we just don't see him overcoming those. Good luck to you though, Lisa. Most of the time it's not you, it's him. But this time it might be you. Sorry. Just remember, "there's always money in the banana stand."
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Date #14: Erin
Erin S.: It's nice to see a familiar face! We've been looking forward to Erin's date since we saw her video application what seems like months ago now. Did they save all those girls who actually made some effort to make videos for the end? In case you forgot already, this is the girl with all the shoes!
Date Recap: The date starts at In-N-Out and, as we've said before, clearly Bachelor Rick likes his burgers. He is waiting at a table and Erin sneaks up behind him wearing a backpack and they embrace. She's cute as a button and we already like her. We find out that Erin just arrived in L.A. after waiting standy-by. Thankfully her Sky Miles came through and she made it just in time for the date! They eat their burgers and Bachelor Rick reveals something about himself we instantly wish he would have kept to himself: he was a former In-N-Out employee in high school and eats there at least five times a week. I'm sorry, can you repeat that, Rick? "I'd probably eat there five times a week. No joke." Okay, phew. We thought for a second you meant that you currently eat there five times a week (in which case you need a wife faster than even TMB can arrange for you) and we were about to throw up all over the white Keds Erin just pulled out of her backpack. She reveals that these glowing white shoes will be used as a canvas for whatever artistic whimsy meets their fancy. Gotta hand it to her, this is probably something Bachelor Rick, or anyone in the history of dating and courtship, has never done before. You can tell right away that Erin had her shoe-art all planned out from the get-go. It's cute and perky and will probably make for a nice dating souvenir in Bachelor Rick's dental office, or bedroom, or car, or trunk of his car, or anywhere but probably on his own feet. After the shoe-art is done the two head for a comedian of sorts (which Bachelor Rick reveals in his re-cap is at Disneyland or Disney town or Disney something). The date ends with Erin and Bachelor Rick each throwing a coin over their shoulder, into a fountain, and making a wish. Oh dear, oh dear. Didn't anyone ever tell them that actually revealing their wish will instantly make it not come true?
First Impression: You know how sometimes girls are mean? Like downright awful and nasty kind of mean? And sometimes they love to hate other girls just because they're mean like that? Well Erin is one of two types of girls who we can't see fitting into that mold. Here's why: 1) She's just so darn sweet and cute that unless you're the very worst kind of girl, there's no way you could hate her, and 2) I highly doubt she hates other girls either--she's so above that because she is has a kind heart and a good soul. So props to Erin for being that kind of awesome!
Surprises: For the love, can someone please get this boy's hand holding under control? We tolerated it for most of these girls, but we can't tolerate it for someone as sweet and innocent as Erin! You know she's the type of girl who takes things like that to heart and that holding hands is probably a big deal to her. Like a really big deal. So while hand holding may be the equivalent of a hand shake to Rick, to Erin it probably means HAND HOLDING! Get a clue, Rick! Learn to read these girls a little better, please!
Second Date Potential: We want to say the possibility is high because this girl is so darn sweet, but we don't see it. Was Erin super excited about Rick? Yes. So very excited (dang him for holding her hand!). Was Rick super excited about Erin? Sigh. We don't think so.
TMB Excitement Level: He really had fun with Erin, no doubt. But if we're being honest, he probably sees her more as the girl he's going to call up to get her advice (not "advise," as Rick likes to call it) on the other date he just had.
Creativity Points: In-N-Out, not creative at all. And since we know Rick already eats there on his own five times a week, or at least used to, we shouldn't encourage any more dates to this burger joint. Shoe-art, now there's something we never expected. Bonus points to Erin for coming up with that idea! Although something artistic like that on a first date has major awkward potential as well.
Final Thoughts: You can tell Erin wanted Bachelor Rick to know who she truly was--an artist, and a sweet one at that. We like that she had the courage to show him what she was all about. Some people shy away from revealing things like that on a first date but she wanted to make this date count. At least if there is no second date, she can't say she didn't try and that she didn't put herself out there. And Erin, remember this, if this doesn't turn into a dating relationship, it's him and not you, okay?
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
Date Recap: The date starts at In-N-Out and, as we've said before, clearly Bachelor Rick likes his burgers. He is waiting at a table and Erin sneaks up behind him wearing a backpack and they embrace. She's cute as a button and we already like her. We find out that Erin just arrived in L.A. after waiting standy-by. Thankfully her Sky Miles came through and she made it just in time for the date! They eat their burgers and Bachelor Rick reveals something about himself we instantly wish he would have kept to himself: he was a former In-N-Out employee in high school and eats there at least five times a week. I'm sorry, can you repeat that, Rick? "I'd probably eat there five times a week. No joke." Okay, phew. We thought for a second you meant that you currently eat there five times a week (in which case you need a wife faster than even TMB can arrange for you) and we were about to throw up all over the white Keds Erin just pulled out of her backpack. She reveals that these glowing white shoes will be used as a canvas for whatever artistic whimsy meets their fancy. Gotta hand it to her, this is probably something Bachelor Rick, or anyone in the history of dating and courtship, has never done before. You can tell right away that Erin had her shoe-art all planned out from the get-go. It's cute and perky and will probably make for a nice dating souvenir in Bachelor Rick's dental office, or bedroom, or car, or trunk of his car, or anywhere but probably on his own feet. After the shoe-art is done the two head for a comedian of sorts (which Bachelor Rick reveals in his re-cap is at Disneyland or Disney town or Disney something). The date ends with Erin and Bachelor Rick each throwing a coin over their shoulder, into a fountain, and making a wish. Oh dear, oh dear. Didn't anyone ever tell them that actually revealing their wish will instantly make it not come true?
First Impression: You know how sometimes girls are mean? Like downright awful and nasty kind of mean? And sometimes they love to hate other girls just because they're mean like that? Well Erin is one of two types of girls who we can't see fitting into that mold. Here's why: 1) She's just so darn sweet and cute that unless you're the very worst kind of girl, there's no way you could hate her, and 2) I highly doubt she hates other girls either--she's so above that because she is has a kind heart and a good soul. So props to Erin for being that kind of awesome!
Surprises: For the love, can someone please get this boy's hand holding under control? We tolerated it for most of these girls, but we can't tolerate it for someone as sweet and innocent as Erin! You know she's the type of girl who takes things like that to heart and that holding hands is probably a big deal to her. Like a really big deal. So while hand holding may be the equivalent of a hand shake to Rick, to Erin it probably means HAND HOLDING! Get a clue, Rick! Learn to read these girls a little better, please!
Second Date Potential: We want to say the possibility is high because this girl is so darn sweet, but we don't see it. Was Erin super excited about Rick? Yes. So very excited (dang him for holding her hand!). Was Rick super excited about Erin? Sigh. We don't think so.
TMB Excitement Level: He really had fun with Erin, no doubt. But if we're being honest, he probably sees her more as the girl he's going to call up to get her advice (not "advise," as Rick likes to call it) on the other date he just had.
Creativity Points: In-N-Out, not creative at all. And since we know Rick already eats there on his own five times a week, or at least used to, we shouldn't encourage any more dates to this burger joint. Shoe-art, now there's something we never expected. Bonus points to Erin for coming up with that idea! Although something artistic like that on a first date has major awkward potential as well.
Final Thoughts: You can tell Erin wanted Bachelor Rick to know who she truly was--an artist, and a sweet one at that. We like that she had the courage to show him what she was all about. Some people shy away from revealing things like that on a first date but she wanted to make this date count. At least if there is no second date, she can't say she didn't try and that she didn't put herself out there. And Erin, remember this, if this doesn't turn into a dating relationship, it's him and not you, okay?
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Date #13 Kristy
Kristy U.: You'd think Bachelor Rick would be getting tired of all this dating (I know I am), but with Kristy around, that's just not possible. Thanks for allowing me to watch a date where I didn't cringe out of embarrassment. In fact, I kind of wanted to be hanging out, third-wheel-style, with the two of them. Kind of like your camera man. Speaking of the camera man, is he single?
ml
Date Recap: Kristy, you clever thing you. Way to have some random dude point Bachelor Rick to where you were waiting to surprise him. I think he liked that. A little spontaneity is right up Ricky's alley. And perfect since I see you two already know each other. A perfect way to surprise, I'm going to guess, an old friend? Just look at that excitement when he realizes it's you! Reunited and it feels so good! So, we know things are off to a good start. And then again with the excitement when he figures out what little adventure you two are about to embark on. Trapeze! Kristy must really be wanting to take this relationship to a whole new level. Thanks for adding some fresh air into the near middle of this quest to find Ricky's one true Mormon love. Perhaps it will be found as they fly through the air, performing all sorts of acrobatic aerial maneuvers. Which makes me wonder, if she's this good at flying through the air, what else is she good at? wink wink. Kristy looks pretty smokin' swinging from those bars. Oh no she didn't just do a triple axel. Oh yes she did! What now Ricky Baby, what now? I'm just going to assume ice skating terminology can apply to the trapeze as well. Correct me if I'm wrong. I give her a 10 for the landing. As for Ricky baby, I think he's wanting a piece of that. Just look at that grin. This date is full of high fives, smiles, shoulder rubs, pep talks, robotic dancing, and wait for it, yes, even chest bumps. A chic that chest bumps, yeah, she just got a whole lot cooler in our book. And don't worry, we did take notice of Ricky's famous PDA moves. He didn't go for the hand holding this time around, but there was definitely some cuddly cuddly walking into the sunset going on. Aw, so romantic.
First Impression: I think she's adorable. Fun. And an awesome trapezist who's totally up for a good time. I feel like she and I could be BFF's. Do you think she already has one?
Surprises: Get out of town! Did they just do some K-I-S-S-I-N-G behind that curtain?! Was that really kiss numero dos for Bachelor Rick?! I sure hope she remembered her strawberry lemonade lip smackers whatever happened. Iknow hear the boys love that. They say what goes on in the photo booth stays in the photo booth. So, I guess we have no choice but to leave it at that and let our imagination run wild. But not too wild, this is a Mormon show.
Second Date Potential: Moderate to High. If what went on behind that curtain is what I think went on behind that curtain, which it's not, but it's fun to pretend, than there's gotta be a second date.
TMB Excitement Level: Bachelor Ricks excitement was off the charts in this one. But there's something that has me questioning just what kind of excitement it was. Was it the "oh my heck this date, this girl, this night, are all amazing?" Or more of the excitement that's like, "this is awesome! I get to hang out with an old friend, do something fun I've never done before, and phew, pressure's off for the night. I can let the real Rick come out!" Which one was it people?
Creativity Points: She gets a 9.74624. Trapezing? I mean, who really does that beside the Ringling Bros?
Final Thoughts: I'm thinking Kristy was a good choice for this date. Whose with me? She livened things up a little bit with a 'no pressure' kind of date that was just perfect for Rickalicious, and I think that's just what we were aiming for here. And really, I'm glad that it took the creation of The Mormon Bachelor for Bachelor Rick to start realizing that hanging out one on one with a girl is considered a date. Men! I think we just discovered why he's nearing 30 and still, S-I-N-G-L-E! It's quite endearing when Kristy refers to him as "Buck"--already, looks like she has her pet name picked out for him. Buck, Ricky baby, Bachelor Rick, get with the times, this girl doesn't want to be friends, she wants it bad, a bad romance that is. Rah, rah, ah, ah, ahhhh.
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
ml
Date Recap: Kristy, you clever thing you. Way to have some random dude point Bachelor Rick to where you were waiting to surprise him. I think he liked that. A little spontaneity is right up Ricky's alley. And perfect since I see you two already know each other. A perfect way to surprise, I'm going to guess, an old friend? Just look at that excitement when he realizes it's you! Reunited and it feels so good! So, we know things are off to a good start. And then again with the excitement when he figures out what little adventure you two are about to embark on. Trapeze! Kristy must really be wanting to take this relationship to a whole new level. Thanks for adding some fresh air into the near middle of this quest to find Ricky's one true Mormon love. Perhaps it will be found as they fly through the air, performing all sorts of acrobatic aerial maneuvers. Which makes me wonder, if she's this good at flying through the air, what else is she good at? wink wink. Kristy looks pretty smokin' swinging from those bars. Oh no she didn't just do a triple axel. Oh yes she did! What now Ricky Baby, what now? I'm just going to assume ice skating terminology can apply to the trapeze as well. Correct me if I'm wrong. I give her a 10 for the landing. As for Ricky baby, I think he's wanting a piece of that. Just look at that grin. This date is full of high fives, smiles, shoulder rubs, pep talks, robotic dancing, and wait for it, yes, even chest bumps. A chic that chest bumps, yeah, she just got a whole lot cooler in our book. And don't worry, we did take notice of Ricky's famous PDA moves. He didn't go for the hand holding this time around, but there was definitely some cuddly cuddly walking into the sunset going on. Aw, so romantic.
First Impression: I think she's adorable. Fun. And an awesome trapezist who's totally up for a good time. I feel like she and I could be BFF's. Do you think she already has one?
Surprises: Get out of town! Did they just do some K-I-S-S-I-N-G behind that curtain?! Was that really kiss numero dos for Bachelor Rick?! I sure hope she remembered her strawberry lemonade lip smackers whatever happened. I
Second Date Potential: Moderate to High. If what went on behind that curtain is what I think went on behind that curtain, which it's not, but it's fun to pretend, than there's gotta be a second date.
TMB Excitement Level: Bachelor Ricks excitement was off the charts in this one. But there's something that has me questioning just what kind of excitement it was. Was it the "oh my heck this date, this girl, this night, are all amazing?" Or more of the excitement that's like, "this is awesome! I get to hang out with an old friend, do something fun I've never done before, and phew, pressure's off for the night. I can let the real Rick come out!" Which one was it people?
Creativity Points: She gets a 9.74624. Trapezing? I mean, who really does that beside the Ringling Bros?
Final Thoughts: I'm thinking Kristy was a good choice for this date. Whose with me? She livened things up a little bit with a 'no pressure' kind of date that was just perfect for Rickalicious, and I think that's just what we were aiming for here. And really, I'm glad that it took the creation of The Mormon Bachelor for Bachelor Rick to start realizing that hanging out one on one with a girl is considered a date. Men! I think we just discovered why he's nearing 30 and still, S-I-N-G-L-E! It's quite endearing when Kristy refers to him as "Buck"--already, looks like she has her pet name picked out for him. Buck, Ricky baby, Bachelor Rick, get with the times, this girl doesn't want to be friends, she wants it bad, a bad romance that is. Rah, rah, ah, ah, ahhhh.
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
Monday, January 24, 2011
Date #12: Alisha
Alisha W.: We're not sure if we like this girl more or less because of her connection to Mormon Bachelorette Aubrey*. There's all sorts of pressure there that we're not sure if we're cool with.
Date Recap: Is this our first Sunday date? Yippee! This girl has the most unfortunate, unfortunate predicament of having the cameraman/woman present for the entire date, making for some major awkwardness. And if the awkwardness really wasn't there in person, it was big time for the viewers (at least for me) because in case you didn't catch on, this date is at Aubrey* Messick's house! Yikes! So maybe the second time around at this house will be successful? Aubrey* introduces Alisha before Bachelor Rick's arrival and holy smokes, is it just me or is Aubrey's* hair getting loooong? Bachelor Rick finally arrives and at least you can tell from the get go that Bachelor Rick thinks this girl is cute. And she is! But something about her also reminds me of one of those ladies from The Real Housewives series. I'm not sure what. Anyway, so Bachelor Rick and Alisha make breakfast together. Alisha pulls out the Bisquick and I cringe. Call me a breakfast snob, but on a date couldn't she have at least made an effort and made the waffles from scratch? Okay, that is a bit snobby of me and since Bachelor Rick has admitted he doesn't make food for himself, we know Bisquick is probably a real treat for him. Sorry for jumping the gun there, Aubrey*. Oh shoot, I mean Alisha. Do you think Bachelor Rick made that same mistake on the date? Do you think Bachelor Rick is looking around the house for Aubrey* the whole time? Do you think he wants Aubrey* to regret not choosing him? Do you think he's trying hard to impress Aubrey* in this date to make her regret not choosing him? Do you think he's not going to choose Alisha just to shove it in Aubrey's* face? Do you think . . . okay, we'll stop. He clearly has some initial interest in Alisha and we like that. We know since it's on Sunday and church is forthcoming that this date isn't as long as some of the others, but that's okay because quantity doesn't necessarily equal quality, does it? And this date seemed quality. Especially when they bust out the M-A-S-H. Is Alisha the first date to bring up the hypothetical marriage situation with the Bachelor? Props for that Alisha! Now you've got the wheels spinning in Rickster's head and all because of M-A-S-H. Well done, well done! And how sweet, he gives Alisha a ride to church! I wonder if he offered Aubrey* a ride, too? Now that she's engaged is she too cool to go to the same single's ward? Just when we were starting to think there just wasn't enough time for Bachelor Rick to get in the hand holding, he shows us how wrong we were for thinking that. He holds her hand for about 3.5 seconds from the door of his car to the church door. I wonder if he held her hand during church? Did he even sit by her? Were some of the other ladies from his date there watching? Oh to be a fly on the wall in that single's ward!
First Impression: This girl seems cute and successful, seeing as she has a job in Arizona and all. And that's cool she works for General Mills. Does that mean friends and family get free cereal? Since Rick doesn't cook, that would probably be a major appeal.
Surprises: This girl is totally cute and a good dresser. We like her. Of course a lot of our intial thoughts are superficial, of course, since we can't be there to talk to her firsthand, but do you think Aubrey* showed Alisha a picture of Rick beforehand? This girl seems California girl cute, meaning it seems like her type would be surfer boy, brunette or sun-bleached blonde and super bronzed. Like I said, this is all superficial thinking to lead me into thinking if you think he's her type?
Second date potential: Oh yeah. Bachelor Rick doesn't want to risk offending Bachelorette Aubrey*. And Bachelor Rick is totally digging this girl, so of course we will see a second date.
Creativity: Maybe not totally creative so I'll give her a 3. Ok, maybe a 4...come on, they played M-A-S-H and that is worth at least a point on its own. The only thing taking her down here is that she used Bisquick. Then again, she does work for General Mills, so despite her best efforts of advertising for them, it still wasn't that creative. Apparently this girl didn't have a lot to work with time wise if they could only make a Sunday morning date work. Was she only in town for Sunday morning? We aren't privy to this information or for any date scheduling info for any of these ladies, for that matter. That would be interesting to know.
Final thoughts: Can Arizona Alisha and California Bachelor Rick make long-distance work? Of course they can. Arizona and California aren't that far apart, really.
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
*Of course we're kidding about that stuff. But some people don't know, I guess.
Date Recap: Is this our first Sunday date? Yippee! This girl has the most unfortunate, unfortunate predicament of having the cameraman/woman present for the entire date, making for some major awkwardness. And if the awkwardness really wasn't there in person, it was big time for the viewers (at least for me) because in case you didn't catch on, this date is at Aubrey* Messick's house! Yikes! So maybe the second time around at this house will be successful? Aubrey* introduces Alisha before Bachelor Rick's arrival and holy smokes, is it just me or is Aubrey's* hair getting loooong? Bachelor Rick finally arrives and at least you can tell from the get go that Bachelor Rick thinks this girl is cute. And she is! But something about her also reminds me of one of those ladies from The Real Housewives series. I'm not sure what. Anyway, so Bachelor Rick and Alisha make breakfast together. Alisha pulls out the Bisquick and I cringe. Call me a breakfast snob, but on a date couldn't she have at least made an effort and made the waffles from scratch? Okay, that is a bit snobby of me and since Bachelor Rick has admitted he doesn't make food for himself, we know Bisquick is probably a real treat for him. Sorry for jumping the gun there, Aubrey*. Oh shoot, I mean Alisha. Do you think Bachelor Rick made that same mistake on the date? Do you think Bachelor Rick is looking around the house for Aubrey* the whole time? Do you think he wants Aubrey* to regret not choosing him? Do you think he's trying hard to impress Aubrey* in this date to make her regret not choosing him? Do you think he's not going to choose Alisha just to shove it in Aubrey's* face? Do you think . . . okay, we'll stop. He clearly has some initial interest in Alisha and we like that. We know since it's on Sunday and church is forthcoming that this date isn't as long as some of the others, but that's okay because quantity doesn't necessarily equal quality, does it? And this date seemed quality. Especially when they bust out the M-A-S-H. Is Alisha the first date to bring up the hypothetical marriage situation with the Bachelor? Props for that Alisha! Now you've got the wheels spinning in Rickster's head and all because of M-A-S-H. Well done, well done! And how sweet, he gives Alisha a ride to church! I wonder if he offered Aubrey* a ride, too? Now that she's engaged is she too cool to go to the same single's ward? Just when we were starting to think there just wasn't enough time for Bachelor Rick to get in the hand holding, he shows us how wrong we were for thinking that. He holds her hand for about 3.5 seconds from the door of his car to the church door. I wonder if he held her hand during church? Did he even sit by her? Were some of the other ladies from his date there watching? Oh to be a fly on the wall in that single's ward!
First Impression: This girl seems cute and successful, seeing as she has a job in Arizona and all. And that's cool she works for General Mills. Does that mean friends and family get free cereal? Since Rick doesn't cook, that would probably be a major appeal.
Surprises: This girl is totally cute and a good dresser. We like her. Of course a lot of our intial thoughts are superficial, of course, since we can't be there to talk to her firsthand, but do you think Aubrey* showed Alisha a picture of Rick beforehand? This girl seems California girl cute, meaning it seems like her type would be surfer boy, brunette or sun-bleached blonde and super bronzed. Like I said, this is all superficial thinking to lead me into thinking if you think he's her type?
Second date potential: Oh yeah. Bachelor Rick doesn't want to risk offending Bachelorette Aubrey*. And Bachelor Rick is totally digging this girl, so of course we will see a second date.
Creativity: Maybe not totally creative so I'll give her a 3. Ok, maybe a 4...come on, they played M-A-S-H and that is worth at least a point on its own. The only thing taking her down here is that she used Bisquick. Then again, she does work for General Mills, so despite her best efforts of advertising for them, it still wasn't that creative. Apparently this girl didn't have a lot to work with time wise if they could only make a Sunday morning date work. Was she only in town for Sunday morning? We aren't privy to this information or for any date scheduling info for any of these ladies, for that matter. That would be interesting to know.
Final thoughts: Can Arizona Alisha and California Bachelor Rick make long-distance work? Of course they can. Arizona and California aren't that far apart, really.
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
*Of course we're kidding about that stuff. But some people don't know, I guess.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Date #11 Christina "Beana"
Beana H.: Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. Please make sure your seat back and folding trays are in their full upright position. It's going to be a turbulent-free ride! On behalf of The Mormon Bachelor, I'm Beana, welcome aboard date #11!
Date Recap: Bachelor Rick swings by Christina Beana Bo-Beana's place to pick her up for whopping date #11. Can you believe our little Ricky-Rick has made it to the half-way mark?! Apparently he has been under the weather, so I guess all these dates have really taken its toll on the poor man! (Wait, we don't really feel bad for him though, right? I mean come on... what person who has ever played the dating game actually feels bad for this guy? He has had some serious PDA action going on for the last 11 days, including, but not limited to, holding hands and even some lip action. No wonder he's sick. Fess up, which of you ladies didn't wash your hands!? Or rather, should we check in with-ahem-Sam to see if she's sick too? WE KID!). Now back to our regular programming: Bachelor Rick acts pleasantly surprised when his date swings open the door, and there she stands: Ms. Marry-Me-and-Fly-for-Free herself! Can't be excited enough about that perk! And if that weren't enough, Mr. TMB reveals right there on the doorstep that his whole family loves her. We're guessing they want in on the buddy passes too? Are we right, or are we right? ;) As it turns out, it's Mr. I-Don't-Feel-Well's lucky day, because Beana has planned a little R & R to Glen Ivy Hot Springs Spa (spa being the magic word here). The two immerse themselves in a mud bath, where a playful little mud fight takes place. Next up is some sun-bathing in the California sun where Beana gives us some insight on how such a cute girl ended up on the Mormon Bachelor. A dating doozy in Salt Lake City is the reason behind it. Thanks buddy... whoever you are! Your loss is Rick's gain! We get worried for a second that he doesn't hold her hand. But then, we scared ourselves for nothing. Hand holding. Check. To end fun time at the spa, Beana and Ricky maneuver their way through some little rock maize thing. Beana ends up jumping and throwing herself into Prince Rick's arms. True story. She really does. It makes us a little nervous, most of which can be summed up by saying that Prince Charming barely catches her. We'll blame it on him feeling under the weather. Maybe next time, just don't do that, k? The date wraps up back where it began at Beana's place where the two partake of acai bowls, whatever that means. And then, another awkward hug at the doorstep. It looks like someone (name starts with "R" and ends with "ick") hesitated a little too long to seal the deal. DANG IT, RICK!
First Impressions: We are on the wings of love with this girl! We like to see that these girls aren't as lame as their application videos first implied, so thanks Beana for proving your video wrong! You are a delightful, chill, happy person with a pleasant laugh and affection for the word "duh." Next time you go to a spa, can we PUH-LEASE come with you?!
Surprises: WHAT?! No kiss?! She was totally ready for one-- she even had gum in her mouth so her breath would be fresh and minty clean, just how dentists (and non-dentists alike) like it! Why was there no kiss?! She totally earned one for making you feel better! Also, this girl has some serious guts for going straight for the swimsuit on the first date. A woman who has no qualms. We dig it.
Second Date Potential: Mile High (are you sick of the flying puns yet? Don't worry, we're almost done). Like we've said before, who doesn't like a girl with hookups? Especially one that can fly anywhere she wants around the world. Eternal buddy pass? I think Rick already knows he'd be remiss if he didn't go on date number two!
TMB Excitement Level: We already know Rick's family is excited about this one. But was Rick? The spa sure seemed to rejuvenate his spirits, as if they really needed rejuvenating. At least we know this girl's got what it takes to cure an ailing TMB. Plus, she quit her teaching job to be a flight attendant, we kinda think that's cool. Flying is way more rewarding than teaching. You're just gonna have to take our word for it!
Creativity: Girl, you score sky high on this date! First off, Rick has never been to this spa or any spa. Pretty sure he's been to a bazillion theme parks though. We hope to see no more of those on these dates. That being said, your heatlhy shmealthy food, also of which Mr. TMB has never experienced, scores some points too. We're going to have to give you a 9.9999 on our scale. We can't be givin' away 10's so liberally now... there would never be room for improvement!
Final Thoughts: On behalf of Beana Hathaway and the entire TMB crew, we'd like to thank you for joining us for date #11. We look forward to seeing you again in the near future... like on our second date?! You bet. Over and out.
So, are we dead on or dead wrong? What do you think?
So, are we dead on or dead wrong? What do you think?
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Date #10 Sara
Sara O.: Sara, Sara, Sara (you know, like Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!)! Who knew there were that many single LDS girls named Sara/h? Wait. Did we already use that line back with Sara #3? Well here we are with Sara #4. We can’t complain too much though because we really liked this girl.
Date Recap: Another theme park. This time at Disneyland. We’re glad Bachelor Rick has a strong stomach for rollercoasters, otherwise these dates would do quite the number on his system. But thanks to a few dates back, Rickilicious now has his pepto of choice figured out. This theme park date varies a bit from the previous two, because somehow, although Bachelor Rick doesn't reveal her secrets, Sara's got the hookup with D-Land. We get very little insight into their conversation to learn much more than that. In fact, the only conversation we even get to hear is their initial talk about whether to hit up California Land first. Oh, man, that is a rough one! California Land, no, Frontier Land, no... ugh! What to do?! The decision is unanimous, and they head to California Adventures. From this point on in the short video, we see a lot of waiting in line. I mean, a lot. I guess her hookups weren’t enough to bypass the lines. Though maybe she’s more big time than we think, and just wanted to make Rick feel “normal” by waiting in line with the rest of the D-Land folks. Throughout the line waiting and walking to the next ride, we slowly see the pair move from miles apart to much closer together- and finally BAM. Minute marker 1:26! They’re holding hands. The rest of the date moves forward without a hitch and the lovely couple caps off the date at Club 33. Though it’s a mystery what actually happens up there once the pair makes their escape in the ever-so-high-techy looking elevator. Come on, Rick. What happened to your spy watch?! First Impressions: This girl threw me off. With Bachelor Rick's misleading date recap, we thought she was going to be conceited and full of herself. Was it just us or didn't he really make it sound that way? Let's recap: "There is nothing more annoying than someone that goes on and on about how great they are. What I liked about my
date with Sara Olds is that she had this concept down pat." Is no one editing his stuff? I think what he meant to say was, “What I liked about my date with Sara Olds is that she was far from this concept.” Of course, she still could have been conceited--we will never know, because, again, we didn't pick up on much of the conversation. But she certainly didn’t seem that way. And we get good vibes from this lovely, stylish lady. And when we say stylish...are those jeggings?
Surprises: Well, I'll tell you one thing that is NOT a surprise. Bachelor Rick held her hand. Okay, okay. Is there anyone's hand that he hasn't held yet? But seriously we kept waiting and waiting and WAITING. Geez Rick, what took you so long?! It’s almost become a game now to find the point where Rick-lover-of-hand-holding (RLOHH) finally decides to swoop in to make the moves. If only cute Sara would have ditched her purse and sunglasses sooner, then maybe she would have freed up both hands to allow RLOHH to grab her hand much quicker. Ladies, you really gotta keep those hands free!
Second Date potential: Moderate to High. With this girl's hookups, Bachelor Rick is gonna want a second date. Where else is she going to take him? I think Rick wants to know the same thing.
TMB Excitement Level: She's cute. She's stylish. She's got hook-ups. Everyone wants friends with hook-ups. But goodness... where is she from, what does she do, how old is she, did the two know each other before? We have no idea, and we want to know.
Creativity (1-10): Sorry, Sara, as fun as your date looks, we can only give you a 4. Maaaybe we can push it to a 4.99997 because of your Club 33 connection. But that's as far as we can go. Yes, it is Disneyland, the theme parks of all theme parks, but for a date idea theme parks are just getting a little tiresome.
Final thoughts: At this point, if hand holding is any indicator, Bachelor Rick is going to have a rough go at narrowing down to only 8 second dates. A really rough go.
So are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
So are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
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