And the Winner Is . . .

For all those of you who thought "The Final Rose" recap was as exciting as life gets, we hate to disappoint you. But we thought his pick and the video of Bachelor Rick's pick was underwhelming at best. Sure, we were somewhat surprised by his choice of the final lady (We thought Jane had it in the bag. Poor, poor, Jane. We feel for her.). And is it just us or does Melanie look an awful lot like Hailey Duff? Seriously, like she could be a stunt double for her. What is it with Rick dating these teenage celebrity look alikes (although for the record, Sam really looked NOTHING like Miley, but still)? I'm really struggling getting through all 10 minutes plus of this video. Maybe Melanie has some spare Red Bulls she can lend me since she apparently didn't drink her's today. She just doesn't seem her usual bubbly, totally energetic, bouncing down the Walmart aisles self. Although it's probably safe to say she and Rick may have had a lot of late nights together. ;) Anyone else love Melanie's comments about what attracted her to Rick? Particularly the comment about how most "professional" guys are more serious and focused on their careers, but just by looking at Rick's pictures you can tell he is more focused on fun. Uhh, hello, Melanie? Earth to Melanie? Are you there, Melanie? That's because he's SINGLE! Duh. Most "professionals" at his age are long since married and therefore less focused on "fun." Okay, just about made it to the end here without going into a coma. Red roses from a supermarket. Nice touch, Rick! Walmart, perhaps? Oh dear. And those heart shirts? Also oh dear and also possibly from Walmart. At this point Melanie is probably wondering what she just got herself into. It was just one date at Walmart, Rick! Buying jewelry from Tiffany's is still okay!

Back to Rick's intro before he revealed he chose one of the Duff sisters to date. I'm sure Melanie is glad to know she was part of "just a numbers game." Most girls like to think fate has something to do with it. So, what do we think fate has in store for this new "complicated" couple (or so says Rick's facebook status)? Will they be a Matt and Aubrey and be engaged tomorrow? We're gonna say not a chance, unless Bachelor Rick is ready to drop his title of "bachelor" sooner than we anticipate and he's convincing enough that he can be Melanie's sugar daddy, and put her through school (which probably doesn't need much convincing. What Mormon girl would turn down marrying a dentist, even if his romance revolves around Walmart?). But, we've been known to be wrong before. And surprised. Very, very surprised (STILL surprised. Really, Jane, we're so sorry, but we just know an even cooler non-red headed bachelor is out there for you).

Also, can we just state the obvious here: Bachelor Rick did not need to be the Mormon Bachelor to find Melanie. He already knew her and had already asked her out. She was just a dumb girl filled with dumb excuses. So was the choice to have Mr. Buck become TMB totally a waste? Not to end on a negative note, but yeah, kinda. 

Well, folks, until next time . . .