Tina B: Okay, which was more awkward: a) Rick's recap of the date, b) Rick's description of Tina in his recap or c) watching the video itself? Tina, you're endearing, but we'd be lying if we didn't say all of the above made us wince just a little.
Date Recap: We're going to give you a recap, but you have to promise not to look away, okay? It's going to be hard. At least it was for us. Here we go, deep breath... in... out...: the video kicks off with Tina explaining who she is and the dating journey she and Rickmania are about to embark on together. (This SNL skit may or may not come to mind as she introduces herself at the door as Tina.) We immediately think she must want her own cooking show to tack onto her already unusual resume, because she attempts to slice and dice a little as she tells us that immediately following dinner the two will be heading to a fireside! Can I get a what, WH-AT?! Fireside action! However, before we can head to the fireside, we must listen to what can only be described as gut-wrenching awkward conversation unfold at the dinner table. Please correct us if this is an inaccurate description. We learn Tina is/was a volunteer firefighter. And then she asks Rick, "So, what kind of stuff do you like to do?" Tina, Tiiiiinaaaaaa, have you not been watching any of the other dates?! We already know what Bachelor Rick likes to do. Nonetheless, he proceeds to tell us of his deep affection for karaoke. And then he gives us a sampling of his favorite Meatloaf song while singing into a spoon. And just when we want to close the internet browser and run away and hide, finally, the moment we have been waiting for: the fireside. We were hoping Rick would use his spywatch to show us that he holds Tina's hand during the emotional fireside, but he must have been caught in the moment. So, we will never know what really went down inside the chapel. And then, it happens. Right before Tina and TMB exit the building, lo and behold like a breath of fresh air after a dusty twister rips through Kansas, there they are sitting on the foyer couch, Mr. and Soon-to-be-Mrs. Matt Laidlaw. Matt gives a head nod and a "Rick, wassup, man." Wow. So good to see those two. It must have been fate that they were the only people left in the entire building as date 19 exited on camera at that exact moment. Glad to know the happy couple is still involved with YSA activities. Matt and Aubrey, your days are numbered. Soak in the YSA fun while you're still Y and SA. Let us continue. The date is not over yet. No, a delicious chocolate cake is still waiting to be consumed. But not before Tina discovers a note left by TMB staffers, "Dear Rick and Tina, Should you decide to forego your individual blankets, please use this Snuggie to keep each other warm. Sincerely, TMB Staffers." Please, date, end, just end. But it doesn't. We continue to watch them eat cake, and NOT use the snuggie. Ouch, Rick.
First Impressions: First impression from the video? Darling girl, but do people from Virginia have southern accents? According to this, supposedly some do. So, we won't mock. Or first impression from Rick's blog? Yes, Rick, we know it must be awfully hard to keep 22 girls straight. At least you gave us some information about this girl. The others are all still mysteries. Our favorite line of Rick's blog entry was that he couldn't believe Tina would come so far on the day before her b-day to a place she's never been to spend it with him. Thanks Rick. We also couldn't believe your last date came so far 29 days before her birthday, and the date before that 97 days after her mom's birthday. What?!
Second Date Potential: Unless Rick can convince TMB staffers to set a building ablaze for a second date, we aren't going to hold our breath.
TMB Excitement Level: Horse gymnastics. We will say no more.
Date Creativity: It was Sunday after all, so we'll be generous here. When was the last time you went on a date to a fireside? One that Matt and Aubrey attended? Okay then.
Final Thoughts: Rick, don't take California for granted. Or girls.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Date #18: Brittany
Brittany P.: We already know from her application video that she is a huge fan of Batman, rocks out to Justin Timberlake, is skilled at word-play, and is in some secret society for people with black-rimmed glasses that think they are super-heros (Dungeons and Dragons club?). We also learn that she is super cute and obviously has a fun personality. Will that be enough to win over Buckaroo?
Date Recap: Shall I begin with a recap of Mr. Buckaroo's recap? Where he was basically like, you know those marathon dates where you do too many exciting things? This was the exact opposite. Thanks for setting my expectations low, Buckman, so that when I got to the part where you were trying on outfits I was actually entertained. I thought I was going to have to endure 3 minutes of watching you two do nothing but eat and talk about The Jazz and BYU basketball. So, the night starts off with him picking her up (another twinner, yay!) and she explains that they are going out to eat at The Roadkill House. Oh, wait, no, Yarhouse. Oh, wait, I mean The Yard House. Once there they got stuck with a 1.5 hour wait, so I am left wondering if this part was actually even planned out before he asked her what they were doing. ("Oh, right, I am in charge!") Or perhaps the long wait was intended? Otherwise I am not sure what else would have happened besides dinner and then a goodbye hug? That 1.5 hour wait bought us some good time killing scenes while they watched a random restaurant band (what, no dancing to the stoned little drummer boy?), and then the most exciting part of the evening where they walked to a nearby Macy's and tried on mustard tight pants (Baby's Got Buck!), a v-neck Christmas sweater (I'm a little worried that they both actually liked this one), a leopard print dress (did she actually put on those leopard print panties under the dress?), and a Glee outfit. Props for the creative time killing idea. I'm sure they eat some food after this, but then, true to Buck's recap of the non-marathon date (a 3k walk date, perhaps?), the video cuts to some conversation in her parking lot and the walk back to her front door where it all ends with "Well, I had fun!" and a well-I-had-fun hug.
First Impressions: Cute girl who looks even cuter by Rick's side (awwww, those matching glasses are just irresistible!). But they almost seem to get along the way one might get along with a gay friend. Cute together, fun, and good conversation -- and all with the comfort of knowing that it's not going anywhere.
Second Date Potential: Nada. Sorry Brittany, but I think you're going to have to find another guy to think about while you listen to Justin Timberlake. And you deserve a good one, but after seeing the sparks fly in previous dates, and zero hand-holding action here, I would be a very puzzled professional TMB analyst and resign from my job here at Reality Mormon if I am wrong on this one.
TMB Excitement Level: Oh, I am still excited! Over the tight pants, that is. Not so much from any love-connection on this date.
Date Creativity: Well, the date was dinner at a restaurant, right? I sense that there was something extra special about this one, but besides the spaced out drummer guy, I wasn't sure what else was going on there besides food. Since the most creative part -- the Macy's fashion show -- was his idea, I don't think this one even makes the charts. Perhaps she was trying to be different by going opposite the stereotypical Mormon marathon date, which inherently makes it the opposite of creative.
Final Thoughts: Let's see, their final thoughts on the interview were about which of the Jonas Brothers they would most like to date. And I think it is fair to say that the likelihood of them dating one of the Jonas Brothers exceeds the likelihood that they will date each other. But, I really hope they do continue to keep in touch through that secret society of super-hero black rimmed glasses wearers. Maybe as a superhero he will have a good excuse to hop back into the tight pants and she into that leopard print dress. Hot.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Date #17: Jamie
Jamie R.: You may remember Jamie from her uniquely animated application video. If you don't remember her, don't worry, you probably won't see her around again on TMB, so it's no biggie. Okay, that was mean. In all reality, Jamie is a geologist and she rocks! (How often do you think she hears that joke?)
Date recap: Where to begin with this one? . . . Bachelor Rick starts the evening off by saying he's feeling something good in the air and he's at the Santa Monica Pier, so how can it not be good? Oh Rick. You set yourself up for that one. How can it not be good? Let us count the ways . . . cliche/touristy pier, lame rides, and weird street performers begging for money. Do we need to continue? How about we just continue on with the date? Okay. Things don't get much better, however, when Bachelor Rick and Jamie meet up further down the pier and Bachelor Rick really gets things going with the instant date killer line "Are you excited? Yeah? Me, too." All of which sounds completely lackluster with a hint of sarcasm. What did poor Jamie do to deserve that? She just flew all the way out from Colorado to go out with you! Speaking of which, is it just us, or does somehow traveling from Colorado seem slightly weirder than traveling from the East Coast? And it's thousands of miles closer to L.A., so how does that work? Does it have something to do with the awkward....pause. Hold that thought. Let me look up another word for "awkward"--I feel like even though it's fitting, we use that word way too much around here. Okay, got it. Discomfited. This date is only made more discomfited by the girly scream Bachelor Rick emits on one of the rides. After a few more lame-dash-o rides, the two head over to Third Street to watch some street performers. Now is your chance to stop the video and rewind as many times as you see fit to watch some majorly discomfited dancing. See that dancing? Yeah? Whoo hooo! We now know the real reason these two are white. Shoot. I mean single. We now know the real reason these two are still single. After some more dancing and more hand holding the two browse through some shelves of Crocs and we want to shout out "Back away from the crocs! Keep it moving, keep it moving!" Crocs were not cool when they came out last decade and they are STILL not cool . . . we wonder if Bachelor Rick owns any? The date ends with some ice cream and a foot rub. Don't jump to conclusions though, because the foot rub is done by a machine and not Bachelor Rick's hands. You can't blame him though--those hands have to work in people's mouths!
First impression: I'll let you in on a little secret. Usually upon spotting a new date on TMB's website I will read Bachelor Rick's recap of the date first and THEN watch the video. Rebellious, I know. I can usually tell within the first paragraph just how the date is going to go and if Rick is into his date or not. Since he started out this recap by saying "Geology! So many ways I could go with that" we instantly knew Rick was just trying to be nice. Because, come on now, so many ways to go with geology? No, sorry, there really aren't that many ways you can go with geology. Although I'm sure Jamie could prove us wrong. Rick goes onto say "In geology, one of the hardest components to predict accurately is the earth’s climate change." How does Rick know this? Did he just google it? Because we all know the only thing any of us remember from our middle school geology classes is that there are three types of rocks. I'm all for learning new info and stimulating conversations but if this is what Richard took away from the date we know it was doomed from the get-go. So, unfortunately, our first impression of this date just couldn't be high after reading all of that. Although for the record, after actually watching the date our opinion of Jamie skyrocketed. She was a cute girl, obviously smart, and she gets a pat on the back just for coming out from Colorado and for having a unique occupation. Jamie, we like you. Okay? Even if this recap suggests otherwise. It's not you, it's the date.
Second date potential: Slim to Moderate. Maybe Bachelor Rick would fly out to Colorado for a second date, but we're not predicting so.
TMB excitement level: We detected more of a "friend" level of excitement in Bachelor Rick's post-date interview. He enjoyed Jamie's company, and she obviously enjoyed Rick's, but we don't think there was a lot of romantic chemistry there. Sorry, Jamie. We know you had fun. And we had fun watching you. Trust us.
Date creativity: Santa Monica Pier is probably not the first thing that would cross my mind in planning a date (see reasons above), but it's what Jamie thought of, so we'll give her a three just because we truly do like her and think she's a nice girl who deserves more than a one.
Final thoughts: Why did Jamie apply to be on TMB? We feel questions like this could answer a lot about these girls. Are there no men in Colorado? Are there no men in Arizona? Are there no men on the East Coast? At least no attractive LDS men with any sort of potential? I'm sure a lot of them would answer "I just did it for fun!" Uh-huh. You expect us to believe that? Fill us in ladies, we need to know these things before we can accurately judge why you traveled such distances to go on a single date with Bachelor Rick! Thank you. That is all.
Date recap: Where to begin with this one? . . . Bachelor Rick starts the evening off by saying he's feeling something good in the air and he's at the Santa Monica Pier, so how can it not be good? Oh Rick. You set yourself up for that one. How can it not be good? Let us count the ways . . . cliche/touristy pier, lame rides, and weird street performers begging for money. Do we need to continue? How about we just continue on with the date? Okay. Things don't get much better, however, when Bachelor Rick and Jamie meet up further down the pier and Bachelor Rick really gets things going with the instant date killer line "Are you excited? Yeah? Me, too." All of which sounds completely lackluster with a hint of sarcasm. What did poor Jamie do to deserve that? She just flew all the way out from Colorado to go out with you! Speaking of which, is it just us, or does somehow traveling from Colorado seem slightly weirder than traveling from the East Coast? And it's thousands of miles closer to L.A., so how does that work? Does it have something to do with the awkward....pause. Hold that thought. Let me look up another word for "awkward"--I feel like even though it's fitting, we use that word way too much around here. Okay, got it. Discomfited. This date is only made more discomfited by the girly scream Bachelor Rick emits on one of the rides. After a few more lame-dash-o rides, the two head over to Third Street to watch some street performers. Now is your chance to stop the video and rewind as many times as you see fit to watch some majorly discomfited dancing. See that dancing? Yeah? Whoo hooo! We now know the real reason these two are white. Shoot. I mean single. We now know the real reason these two are still single. After some more dancing and more hand holding the two browse through some shelves of Crocs and we want to shout out "Back away from the crocs! Keep it moving, keep it moving!" Crocs were not cool when they came out last decade and they are STILL not cool . . . we wonder if Bachelor Rick owns any? The date ends with some ice cream and a foot rub. Don't jump to conclusions though, because the foot rub is done by a machine and not Bachelor Rick's hands. You can't blame him though--those hands have to work in people's mouths!
First impression: I'll let you in on a little secret. Usually upon spotting a new date on TMB's website I will read Bachelor Rick's recap of the date first and THEN watch the video. Rebellious, I know. I can usually tell within the first paragraph just how the date is going to go and if Rick is into his date or not. Since he started out this recap by saying "Geology! So many ways I could go with that" we instantly knew Rick was just trying to be nice. Because, come on now, so many ways to go with geology? No, sorry, there really aren't that many ways you can go with geology. Although I'm sure Jamie could prove us wrong. Rick goes onto say "In geology, one of the hardest components to predict accurately is the earth’s climate change." How does Rick know this? Did he just google it? Because we all know the only thing any of us remember from our middle school geology classes is that there are three types of rocks. I'm all for learning new info and stimulating conversations but if this is what Richard took away from the date we know it was doomed from the get-go. So, unfortunately, our first impression of this date just couldn't be high after reading all of that. Although for the record, after actually watching the date our opinion of Jamie skyrocketed. She was a cute girl, obviously smart, and she gets a pat on the back just for coming out from Colorado and for having a unique occupation. Jamie, we like you. Okay? Even if this recap suggests otherwise. It's not you, it's the date.
Second date potential: Slim to Moderate. Maybe Bachelor Rick would fly out to Colorado for a second date, but we're not predicting so.
TMB excitement level: We detected more of a "friend" level of excitement in Bachelor Rick's post-date interview. He enjoyed Jamie's company, and she obviously enjoyed Rick's, but we don't think there was a lot of romantic chemistry there. Sorry, Jamie. We know you had fun. And we had fun watching you. Trust us.
Date creativity: Santa Monica Pier is probably not the first thing that would cross my mind in planning a date (see reasons above), but it's what Jamie thought of, so we'll give her a three just because we truly do like her and think she's a nice girl who deserves more than a one.
Final thoughts: Why did Jamie apply to be on TMB? We feel questions like this could answer a lot about these girls. Are there no men in Colorado? Are there no men in Arizona? Are there no men on the East Coast? At least no attractive LDS men with any sort of potential? I'm sure a lot of them would answer "I just did it for fun!" Uh-huh. You expect us to believe that? Fill us in ladies, we need to know these things before we can accurately judge why you traveled such distances to go on a single date with Bachelor Rick! Thank you. That is all.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Date #16: Jane
Jane M.: Sweet Sixteen (Relax, people! We're talking about this being Bachelor Rick's 16th date, not the age of one of his earlier dates)!
Date recap: Bachelor Rick picks up Jane and the two embrace. Once they pull away, Bachelor Rick lets New Yorker Jane know "I remember you!" How sweet, Richard! From the pre-existence, perhaps? Oh, just from her TMB audition tape? Dang! Well, little miss Janey came all the way from The Big Apple to go on a date with Mr. TMB, making this his second date to travel all the way from the East Coast. How lucky is this man? Women are willing to go the distance for him. I'm getting chills just thinking about it! What also gives me chills is that present Bachelor Rick is holding in his hand as he walks Janey out to the car. For cute! We have a hunch it might be some NYC exclusives: Levaines Cookies! Oh baby! This guy is even luckier than we thought and just for that act alone, we declare Jane a keeper! If Rick has tried even a nibble of those cookies he will know what a lucky man he is. We don't see any cookies making an appearance in the car ride, but the two soon arrive at Sur La Table for a cooking class! Score #2 for Bachelor Rick, I mean for Janey for helping him out a little! Maybe he'll learn to make something decent for himself so he will no longer have to eat out "95%" of the time. Which brings us to this question: How does Bachelor Rick look as trim as he does with that kind of a statistic? I'm hoping in all of his spare time, he is at the gym. Maybe some of those girls who got long-time hug action can fill us in on how his arms feel? Is he made of steel or some strawberry jell-o? Moving on, the only dish we for sure know these two pre-lovebirds are making (the other dish names were too blurry for us to make out . . . no joke there, people, there's no heat in the kitchen just yet) is some kind of curry soup with chickpeas. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that doesn't seem like a good dish to start with for a man who is used to most of his food being fried in all sorts of oil--or any kind of man for that matter.Whatever. The food doesn't seem to matter because these two are totally into each other as only confirmed by Ms. Cleavage herself (Sur La Table cooking instructor?) that these two look great together. After eating their food, Janey and Rickey take a survey. At first we assume it's a survey to rank their cooking class, but we see the deeper meaning behind it. The two are totally ranking their date and giving each other off the chart scores! At the door, here's a surprise: an awkward kiss for all to behold! Majorly awkward. But don't worry, chances were good that the two saw each other before Janey took off for NYC. So maybe they had a chance to work on that kiss again (you didn't hear it from us. Wait. Yes you did..)
First Impression: We like this big city girl. She was cute. The one thing that totally threw us off was her red hair. Do she and Rick know that if they have babies together the chances of their procreations turning into lots of little redheads is astronomically high!?! These are things you have to think about when you're dating! Also, although we thought this girl was cute, we didn't think she was off the charts cute or even near the cutest date Rick's had so far. But maybe in Rick's eyes she was and that's what a love connection is all about.
Second Date Potential: If our sources are correct, there is definitely going to be a second date. They kissed (and probably kissed some more sans cameras). Perhaps they kissed just so Bachelor Rick could shake off his image of only having kissed a teenager so far, but we think there was more to it than that.
TMB Excitement level: Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby! They had that "moment" in the car, which was probably only a "moment" for Bachelor Rick since Janey did admit she was surprised he kissed her, but still, a moment is a moment, folks and we need to give them credit for that.
Creativity Points: Creativity points for doing something Bachelor Rick desperately NEEDED, no not a kiss with someone of legal age, a cooking lesson! This man is in some dire need of help, ladies. Let this be a lesson to all the ladies who get a second date!
Final Thoughts: Will Rick be a man and go to Jane for the next date or will he make her come back to him? Who wants to see these two kiss on top of the Empire State Building or on a ferry ride out to the Statue of Liberty? Or better yet, go shopping for a knock-off Rolex (are those even cool anymore?) and matching Coach bags (we could see Rick sporting a Coach man purse . . . okay, we take that back. Please don't go there, Rick or in three more years you could end up like Brad, back on the Bachelor. And once was enough. Twice would just be a travesty).
Date recap: Bachelor Rick picks up Jane and the two embrace. Once they pull away, Bachelor Rick lets New Yorker Jane know "I remember you!" How sweet, Richard! From the pre-existence, perhaps? Oh, just from her TMB audition tape? Dang! Well, little miss Janey came all the way from The Big Apple to go on a date with Mr. TMB, making this his second date to travel all the way from the East Coast. How lucky is this man? Women are willing to go the distance for him. I'm getting chills just thinking about it! What also gives me chills is that present Bachelor Rick is holding in his hand as he walks Janey out to the car. For cute! We have a hunch it might be some NYC exclusives: Levaines Cookies! Oh baby! This guy is even luckier than we thought and just for that act alone, we declare Jane a keeper! If Rick has tried even a nibble of those cookies he will know what a lucky man he is. We don't see any cookies making an appearance in the car ride, but the two soon arrive at Sur La Table for a cooking class! Score #2 for Bachelor Rick, I mean for Janey for helping him out a little! Maybe he'll learn to make something decent for himself so he will no longer have to eat out "95%" of the time. Which brings us to this question: How does Bachelor Rick look as trim as he does with that kind of a statistic? I'm hoping in all of his spare time, he is at the gym. Maybe some of those girls who got long-time hug action can fill us in on how his arms feel? Is he made of steel or some strawberry jell-o? Moving on, the only dish we for sure know these two pre-lovebirds are making (the other dish names were too blurry for us to make out . . . no joke there, people, there's no heat in the kitchen just yet) is some kind of curry soup with chickpeas. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that doesn't seem like a good dish to start with for a man who is used to most of his food being fried in all sorts of oil--or any kind of man for that matter.Whatever. The food doesn't seem to matter because these two are totally into each other as only confirmed by Ms. Cleavage herself (Sur La Table cooking instructor?) that these two look great together. After eating their food, Janey and Rickey take a survey. At first we assume it's a survey to rank their cooking class, but we see the deeper meaning behind it. The two are totally ranking their date and giving each other off the chart scores! At the door, here's a surprise: an awkward kiss for all to behold! Majorly awkward. But don't worry, chances were good that the two saw each other before Janey took off for NYC. So maybe they had a chance to work on that kiss again (you didn't hear it from us. Wait. Yes you did..)
First Impression: We like this big city girl. She was cute. The one thing that totally threw us off was her red hair. Do she and Rick know that if they have babies together the chances of their procreations turning into lots of little redheads is astronomically high!?! These are things you have to think about when you're dating! Also, although we thought this girl was cute, we didn't think she was off the charts cute or even near the cutest date Rick's had so far. But maybe in Rick's eyes she was and that's what a love connection is all about.
Second Date Potential: If our sources are correct, there is definitely going to be a second date. They kissed (and probably kissed some more sans cameras). Perhaps they kissed just so Bachelor Rick could shake off his image of only having kissed a teenager so far, but we think there was more to it than that.
TMB Excitement level: Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby! They had that "moment" in the car, which was probably only a "moment" for Bachelor Rick since Janey did admit she was surprised he kissed her, but still, a moment is a moment, folks and we need to give them credit for that.
Creativity Points: Creativity points for doing something Bachelor Rick desperately NEEDED, no not a kiss with someone of legal age, a cooking lesson! This man is in some dire need of help, ladies. Let this be a lesson to all the ladies who get a second date!
Final Thoughts: Will Rick be a man and go to Jane for the next date or will he make her come back to him? Who wants to see these two kiss on top of the Empire State Building or on a ferry ride out to the Statue of Liberty? Or better yet, go shopping for a knock-off Rolex (are those even cool anymore?) and matching Coach bags (we could see Rick sporting a Coach man purse . . . okay, we take that back. Please don't go there, Rick or in three more years you could end up like Brad, back on the Bachelor. And once was enough. Twice would just be a travesty).
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Date #15: Lisa
Lisa W.: Maybe not all of the girls who made a video were pushed to the end. This is a new face to us, but not so for Bachelor Rick, unless he considers Lisa 2.0 new? Are updated versions always new and improved? Let's find out.
Date Recap: Seeing that the theme song for this date is Glee's rendition of "Jump" this date can't be taken too seriously," now can it? I was hoping for a little Glee reenactment with pj's in a mattress store, but the better part of me thought otherwise, knowing only bad things happen late at night. Pj's and a mattress store? We'll save those kinds of things for later, much much later. Back to the date here. This date starts off at Lisa's place of employment, a beauty salon. Seeing that it's "after hours", and it clearly looks like no one is inside Rick's left to question, "Do I just walk in?" Nah, ring the door bell. Rick's really hoping Lisa's idea of a good time isn't a hair cut, seeing that he did just point out to us that he took care of that this morning. Rick, don't you know better than to never tell a date what you're hoping NOT to do? Fifteen dates later and you're still learning. Hopefully by round two you'll be a pro at these things. Back to the salon scene, Lisa, we learn from Rick's recap, is not just Lisa anymore, she's a new and improved "Lisa 2.0." Maybe the new girl has learned to be a bit more forward in her dating quest. She does mention in her subtle, or not so subtle ways, "Sorry, I'm just putting lotion on my hands" . . . hint hint. Looks like she's ready for a little session of Bachelor Rick's infamous hand holding action, or any action really. I hope you brought your A-game. And just like that they're off to a little high school fun at Sky High Sports...I'll leave the sky high jokes behind on this one. Looks like Rick also forgot that mentioning he's on the Mormon Bachelor, to people waiting in line, is still considered awkward, especially when they're teenagers. Had he been in a wife beater it might have been a different story. It definitely would have been different for his perspiration levels. When your body's used to mental push-ups as your main form of exercise and lots of In N' Out as your main means of nourishment, jumping on the tramp is considered quite the workout. I hope Lisa wasn't completely disgusted by you. If there's no PDA tonight, we'll understand why. After watching the two, jump, and jump, and jump, and flip, and toe touch, and jump, and jump, and land in the styrofoam pit time and time again, I got a little bored. We've now covered the bases for amusement parks and acrobatics. Check those off the list. Once Rick discovered his inability to do a back flip, off to Balboa Island they went to indulge in frozen banana's from the banana stand. I wish we could say the two walked away hand in hand, but apparently Ricky didn't pick up on her subtle hint from earlier in the evening, and they just walk away side by side. Poor Lisa. One of the few girls who didn't get to hold Ricky's hand, and imagine for a brief second, that his could have been the last she'd ever have to hold. I guess we all know what that means. I think this is the first date in awhile where there was no real touchy touchy involved, whatsoever. At least they said good bye with high fives, and really, I can't think of a classier way to end a date.
First Impressions: Knowing the two have met before, Rick and Lisa 1.0 that is, and things just weren't there for him, her, or either of them, usually it's a good indicator that things just aren't going to go anywhere the second time around either. Even with the new Rick and Lisa 2.0, I think the verdict remains the same. She had great hair though.
Second Date Potential: Low. I think Lisa is cute, she seems nice, fun, down to earth, and would make a good friend. Unfortunately, even with her new and improved self, I don't think Bachelor Rick was feeling it beyond friendship on this one. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Surprises: Was he excited or bummed to see that it was Lisa? The lack of hand holding, even after she made it apparent she was looking forward to that, or any other PDA for that matter, sure caught me by surprise. Why didn't his signature move come out in this one? Lisa, I really hope you've read the book, or have seen the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You." Vital lessons can be learned from that. You may be cute, but we can't win them all.
TMB Excitement Level: I'm sure he had fun with 2.0, I just don't think it was fun enough that he'd want to spend an entire evening alone with her again. Maybe she'll become his new barber, (do people even use that word anymore?) but I don't think she'll become more than that.
Creativity Points: Since this date was sponsored by the author of "There's no Place Like Home Evening" and this date resembled just that, a BYU FHE, I'm not sure if that was a creative spin-off, or the lack thereof. So, we'll stick with giving her a five and call it good.
Final Thoughts: Bachelor Rick had some strong views on the old version of Lisa and we just don't see him overcoming those. Good luck to you though, Lisa. Most of the time it's not you, it's him. But this time it might be you. Sorry. Just remember, "there's always money in the banana stand."
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
Date Recap: Seeing that the theme song for this date is Glee's rendition of "Jump" this date can't be taken too seriously," now can it? I was hoping for a little Glee reenactment with pj's in a mattress store, but the better part of me thought otherwise, knowing only bad things happen late at night. Pj's and a mattress store? We'll save those kinds of things for later, much much later. Back to the date here. This date starts off at Lisa's place of employment, a beauty salon. Seeing that it's "after hours", and it clearly looks like no one is inside Rick's left to question, "Do I just walk in?" Nah, ring the door bell. Rick's really hoping Lisa's idea of a good time isn't a hair cut, seeing that he did just point out to us that he took care of that this morning. Rick, don't you know better than to never tell a date what you're hoping NOT to do? Fifteen dates later and you're still learning. Hopefully by round two you'll be a pro at these things. Back to the salon scene, Lisa, we learn from Rick's recap, is not just Lisa anymore, she's a new and improved "Lisa 2.0." Maybe the new girl has learned to be a bit more forward in her dating quest. She does mention in her subtle, or not so subtle ways, "Sorry, I'm just putting lotion on my hands" . . . hint hint. Looks like she's ready for a little session of Bachelor Rick's infamous hand holding action, or any action really. I hope you brought your A-game. And just like that they're off to a little high school fun at Sky High Sports...I'll leave the sky high jokes behind on this one. Looks like Rick also forgot that mentioning he's on the Mormon Bachelor, to people waiting in line, is still considered awkward, especially when they're teenagers. Had he been in a wife beater it might have been a different story. It definitely would have been different for his perspiration levels. When your body's used to mental push-ups as your main form of exercise and lots of In N' Out as your main means of nourishment, jumping on the tramp is considered quite the workout. I hope Lisa wasn't completely disgusted by you. If there's no PDA tonight, we'll understand why. After watching the two, jump, and jump, and jump, and flip, and toe touch, and jump, and jump, and land in the styrofoam pit time and time again, I got a little bored. We've now covered the bases for amusement parks and acrobatics. Check those off the list. Once Rick discovered his inability to do a back flip, off to Balboa Island they went to indulge in frozen banana's from the banana stand. I wish we could say the two walked away hand in hand, but apparently Ricky didn't pick up on her subtle hint from earlier in the evening, and they just walk away side by side. Poor Lisa. One of the few girls who didn't get to hold Ricky's hand, and imagine for a brief second, that his could have been the last she'd ever have to hold. I guess we all know what that means. I think this is the first date in awhile where there was no real touchy touchy involved, whatsoever. At least they said good bye with high fives, and really, I can't think of a classier way to end a date.
First Impressions: Knowing the two have met before, Rick and Lisa 1.0 that is, and things just weren't there for him, her, or either of them, usually it's a good indicator that things just aren't going to go anywhere the second time around either. Even with the new Rick and Lisa 2.0, I think the verdict remains the same. She had great hair though.
Second Date Potential: Low. I think Lisa is cute, she seems nice, fun, down to earth, and would make a good friend. Unfortunately, even with her new and improved self, I don't think Bachelor Rick was feeling it beyond friendship on this one. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Surprises: Was he excited or bummed to see that it was Lisa? The lack of hand holding, even after she made it apparent she was looking forward to that, or any other PDA for that matter, sure caught me by surprise. Why didn't his signature move come out in this one? Lisa, I really hope you've read the book, or have seen the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You." Vital lessons can be learned from that. You may be cute, but we can't win them all.
TMB Excitement Level: I'm sure he had fun with 2.0, I just don't think it was fun enough that he'd want to spend an entire evening alone with her again. Maybe she'll become his new barber, (do people even use that word anymore?) but I don't think she'll become more than that.
Creativity Points: Since this date was sponsored by the author of "There's no Place Like Home Evening" and this date resembled just that, a BYU FHE, I'm not sure if that was a creative spin-off, or the lack thereof. So, we'll stick with giving her a five and call it good.
Final Thoughts: Bachelor Rick had some strong views on the old version of Lisa and we just don't see him overcoming those. Good luck to you though, Lisa. Most of the time it's not you, it's him. But this time it might be you. Sorry. Just remember, "there's always money in the banana stand."
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Date #14: Erin
Erin S.: It's nice to see a familiar face! We've been looking forward to Erin's date since we saw her video application what seems like months ago now. Did they save all those girls who actually made some effort to make videos for the end? In case you forgot already, this is the girl with all the shoes!
Date Recap: The date starts at In-N-Out and, as we've said before, clearly Bachelor Rick likes his burgers. He is waiting at a table and Erin sneaks up behind him wearing a backpack and they embrace. She's cute as a button and we already like her. We find out that Erin just arrived in L.A. after waiting standy-by. Thankfully her Sky Miles came through and she made it just in time for the date! They eat their burgers and Bachelor Rick reveals something about himself we instantly wish he would have kept to himself: he was a former In-N-Out employee in high school and eats there at least five times a week. I'm sorry, can you repeat that, Rick? "I'd probably eat there five times a week. No joke." Okay, phew. We thought for a second you meant that you currently eat there five times a week (in which case you need a wife faster than even TMB can arrange for you) and we were about to throw up all over the white Keds Erin just pulled out of her backpack. She reveals that these glowing white shoes will be used as a canvas for whatever artistic whimsy meets their fancy. Gotta hand it to her, this is probably something Bachelor Rick, or anyone in the history of dating and courtship, has never done before. You can tell right away that Erin had her shoe-art all planned out from the get-go. It's cute and perky and will probably make for a nice dating souvenir in Bachelor Rick's dental office, or bedroom, or car, or trunk of his car, or anywhere but probably on his own feet. After the shoe-art is done the two head for a comedian of sorts (which Bachelor Rick reveals in his re-cap is at Disneyland or Disney town or Disney something). The date ends with Erin and Bachelor Rick each throwing a coin over their shoulder, into a fountain, and making a wish. Oh dear, oh dear. Didn't anyone ever tell them that actually revealing their wish will instantly make it not come true?
First Impression: You know how sometimes girls are mean? Like downright awful and nasty kind of mean? And sometimes they love to hate other girls just because they're mean like that? Well Erin is one of two types of girls who we can't see fitting into that mold. Here's why: 1) She's just so darn sweet and cute that unless you're the very worst kind of girl, there's no way you could hate her, and 2) I highly doubt she hates other girls either--she's so above that because she is has a kind heart and a good soul. So props to Erin for being that kind of awesome!
Surprises: For the love, can someone please get this boy's hand holding under control? We tolerated it for most of these girls, but we can't tolerate it for someone as sweet and innocent as Erin! You know she's the type of girl who takes things like that to heart and that holding hands is probably a big deal to her. Like a really big deal. So while hand holding may be the equivalent of a hand shake to Rick, to Erin it probably means HAND HOLDING! Get a clue, Rick! Learn to read these girls a little better, please!
Second Date Potential: We want to say the possibility is high because this girl is so darn sweet, but we don't see it. Was Erin super excited about Rick? Yes. So very excited (dang him for holding her hand!). Was Rick super excited about Erin? Sigh. We don't think so.
TMB Excitement Level: He really had fun with Erin, no doubt. But if we're being honest, he probably sees her more as the girl he's going to call up to get her advice (not "advise," as Rick likes to call it) on the other date he just had.
Creativity Points: In-N-Out, not creative at all. And since we know Rick already eats there on his own five times a week, or at least used to, we shouldn't encourage any more dates to this burger joint. Shoe-art, now there's something we never expected. Bonus points to Erin for coming up with that idea! Although something artistic like that on a first date has major awkward potential as well.
Final Thoughts: You can tell Erin wanted Bachelor Rick to know who she truly was--an artist, and a sweet one at that. We like that she had the courage to show him what she was all about. Some people shy away from revealing things like that on a first date but she wanted to make this date count. At least if there is no second date, she can't say she didn't try and that she didn't put herself out there. And Erin, remember this, if this doesn't turn into a dating relationship, it's him and not you, okay?
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
Date Recap: The date starts at In-N-Out and, as we've said before, clearly Bachelor Rick likes his burgers. He is waiting at a table and Erin sneaks up behind him wearing a backpack and they embrace. She's cute as a button and we already like her. We find out that Erin just arrived in L.A. after waiting standy-by. Thankfully her Sky Miles came through and she made it just in time for the date! They eat their burgers and Bachelor Rick reveals something about himself we instantly wish he would have kept to himself: he was a former In-N-Out employee in high school and eats there at least five times a week. I'm sorry, can you repeat that, Rick? "I'd probably eat there five times a week. No joke." Okay, phew. We thought for a second you meant that you currently eat there five times a week (in which case you need a wife faster than even TMB can arrange for you) and we were about to throw up all over the white Keds Erin just pulled out of her backpack. She reveals that these glowing white shoes will be used as a canvas for whatever artistic whimsy meets their fancy. Gotta hand it to her, this is probably something Bachelor Rick, or anyone in the history of dating and courtship, has never done before. You can tell right away that Erin had her shoe-art all planned out from the get-go. It's cute and perky and will probably make for a nice dating souvenir in Bachelor Rick's dental office, or bedroom, or car, or trunk of his car, or anywhere but probably on his own feet. After the shoe-art is done the two head for a comedian of sorts (which Bachelor Rick reveals in his re-cap is at Disneyland or Disney town or Disney something). The date ends with Erin and Bachelor Rick each throwing a coin over their shoulder, into a fountain, and making a wish. Oh dear, oh dear. Didn't anyone ever tell them that actually revealing their wish will instantly make it not come true?
First Impression: You know how sometimes girls are mean? Like downright awful and nasty kind of mean? And sometimes they love to hate other girls just because they're mean like that? Well Erin is one of two types of girls who we can't see fitting into that mold. Here's why: 1) She's just so darn sweet and cute that unless you're the very worst kind of girl, there's no way you could hate her, and 2) I highly doubt she hates other girls either--she's so above that because she is has a kind heart and a good soul. So props to Erin for being that kind of awesome!
Surprises: For the love, can someone please get this boy's hand holding under control? We tolerated it for most of these girls, but we can't tolerate it for someone as sweet and innocent as Erin! You know she's the type of girl who takes things like that to heart and that holding hands is probably a big deal to her. Like a really big deal. So while hand holding may be the equivalent of a hand shake to Rick, to Erin it probably means HAND HOLDING! Get a clue, Rick! Learn to read these girls a little better, please!
Second Date Potential: We want to say the possibility is high because this girl is so darn sweet, but we don't see it. Was Erin super excited about Rick? Yes. So very excited (dang him for holding her hand!). Was Rick super excited about Erin? Sigh. We don't think so.
TMB Excitement Level: He really had fun with Erin, no doubt. But if we're being honest, he probably sees her more as the girl he's going to call up to get her advice (not "advise," as Rick likes to call it) on the other date he just had.
Creativity Points: In-N-Out, not creative at all. And since we know Rick already eats there on his own five times a week, or at least used to, we shouldn't encourage any more dates to this burger joint. Shoe-art, now there's something we never expected. Bonus points to Erin for coming up with that idea! Although something artistic like that on a first date has major awkward potential as well.
Final Thoughts: You can tell Erin wanted Bachelor Rick to know who she truly was--an artist, and a sweet one at that. We like that she had the courage to show him what she was all about. Some people shy away from revealing things like that on a first date but she wanted to make this date count. At least if there is no second date, she can't say she didn't try and that she didn't put herself out there. And Erin, remember this, if this doesn't turn into a dating relationship, it's him and not you, okay?
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Date #13 Kristy
Kristy U.: You'd think Bachelor Rick would be getting tired of all this dating (I know I am), but with Kristy around, that's just not possible. Thanks for allowing me to watch a date where I didn't cringe out of embarrassment. In fact, I kind of wanted to be hanging out, third-wheel-style, with the two of them. Kind of like your camera man. Speaking of the camera man, is he single?
ml
Date Recap: Kristy, you clever thing you. Way to have some random dude point Bachelor Rick to where you were waiting to surprise him. I think he liked that. A little spontaneity is right up Ricky's alley. And perfect since I see you two already know each other. A perfect way to surprise, I'm going to guess, an old friend? Just look at that excitement when he realizes it's you! Reunited and it feels so good! So, we know things are off to a good start. And then again with the excitement when he figures out what little adventure you two are about to embark on. Trapeze! Kristy must really be wanting to take this relationship to a whole new level. Thanks for adding some fresh air into the near middle of this quest to find Ricky's one true Mormon love. Perhaps it will be found as they fly through the air, performing all sorts of acrobatic aerial maneuvers. Which makes me wonder, if she's this good at flying through the air, what else is she good at? wink wink. Kristy looks pretty smokin' swinging from those bars. Oh no she didn't just do a triple axel. Oh yes she did! What now Ricky Baby, what now? I'm just going to assume ice skating terminology can apply to the trapeze as well. Correct me if I'm wrong. I give her a 10 for the landing. As for Ricky baby, I think he's wanting a piece of that. Just look at that grin. This date is full of high fives, smiles, shoulder rubs, pep talks, robotic dancing, and wait for it, yes, even chest bumps. A chic that chest bumps, yeah, she just got a whole lot cooler in our book. And don't worry, we did take notice of Ricky's famous PDA moves. He didn't go for the hand holding this time around, but there was definitely some cuddly cuddly walking into the sunset going on. Aw, so romantic.
First Impression: I think she's adorable. Fun. And an awesome trapezist who's totally up for a good time. I feel like she and I could be BFF's. Do you think she already has one?
Surprises: Get out of town! Did they just do some K-I-S-S-I-N-G behind that curtain?! Was that really kiss numero dos for Bachelor Rick?! I sure hope she remembered her strawberry lemonade lip smackers whatever happened. Iknow hear the boys love that. They say what goes on in the photo booth stays in the photo booth. So, I guess we have no choice but to leave it at that and let our imagination run wild. But not too wild, this is a Mormon show.
Second Date Potential: Moderate to High. If what went on behind that curtain is what I think went on behind that curtain, which it's not, but it's fun to pretend, than there's gotta be a second date.
TMB Excitement Level: Bachelor Ricks excitement was off the charts in this one. But there's something that has me questioning just what kind of excitement it was. Was it the "oh my heck this date, this girl, this night, are all amazing?" Or more of the excitement that's like, "this is awesome! I get to hang out with an old friend, do something fun I've never done before, and phew, pressure's off for the night. I can let the real Rick come out!" Which one was it people?
Creativity Points: She gets a 9.74624. Trapezing? I mean, who really does that beside the Ringling Bros?
Final Thoughts: I'm thinking Kristy was a good choice for this date. Whose with me? She livened things up a little bit with a 'no pressure' kind of date that was just perfect for Rickalicious, and I think that's just what we were aiming for here. And really, I'm glad that it took the creation of The Mormon Bachelor for Bachelor Rick to start realizing that hanging out one on one with a girl is considered a date. Men! I think we just discovered why he's nearing 30 and still, S-I-N-G-L-E! It's quite endearing when Kristy refers to him as "Buck"--already, looks like she has her pet name picked out for him. Buck, Ricky baby, Bachelor Rick, get with the times, this girl doesn't want to be friends, she wants it bad, a bad romance that is. Rah, rah, ah, ah, ahhhh.
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
ml
Date Recap: Kristy, you clever thing you. Way to have some random dude point Bachelor Rick to where you were waiting to surprise him. I think he liked that. A little spontaneity is right up Ricky's alley. And perfect since I see you two already know each other. A perfect way to surprise, I'm going to guess, an old friend? Just look at that excitement when he realizes it's you! Reunited and it feels so good! So, we know things are off to a good start. And then again with the excitement when he figures out what little adventure you two are about to embark on. Trapeze! Kristy must really be wanting to take this relationship to a whole new level. Thanks for adding some fresh air into the near middle of this quest to find Ricky's one true Mormon love. Perhaps it will be found as they fly through the air, performing all sorts of acrobatic aerial maneuvers. Which makes me wonder, if she's this good at flying through the air, what else is she good at? wink wink. Kristy looks pretty smokin' swinging from those bars. Oh no she didn't just do a triple axel. Oh yes she did! What now Ricky Baby, what now? I'm just going to assume ice skating terminology can apply to the trapeze as well. Correct me if I'm wrong. I give her a 10 for the landing. As for Ricky baby, I think he's wanting a piece of that. Just look at that grin. This date is full of high fives, smiles, shoulder rubs, pep talks, robotic dancing, and wait for it, yes, even chest bumps. A chic that chest bumps, yeah, she just got a whole lot cooler in our book. And don't worry, we did take notice of Ricky's famous PDA moves. He didn't go for the hand holding this time around, but there was definitely some cuddly cuddly walking into the sunset going on. Aw, so romantic.
First Impression: I think she's adorable. Fun. And an awesome trapezist who's totally up for a good time. I feel like she and I could be BFF's. Do you think she already has one?
Surprises: Get out of town! Did they just do some K-I-S-S-I-N-G behind that curtain?! Was that really kiss numero dos for Bachelor Rick?! I sure hope she remembered her strawberry lemonade lip smackers whatever happened. I
Second Date Potential: Moderate to High. If what went on behind that curtain is what I think went on behind that curtain, which it's not, but it's fun to pretend, than there's gotta be a second date.
TMB Excitement Level: Bachelor Ricks excitement was off the charts in this one. But there's something that has me questioning just what kind of excitement it was. Was it the "oh my heck this date, this girl, this night, are all amazing?" Or more of the excitement that's like, "this is awesome! I get to hang out with an old friend, do something fun I've never done before, and phew, pressure's off for the night. I can let the real Rick come out!" Which one was it people?
Creativity Points: She gets a 9.74624. Trapezing? I mean, who really does that beside the Ringling Bros?
Final Thoughts: I'm thinking Kristy was a good choice for this date. Whose with me? She livened things up a little bit with a 'no pressure' kind of date that was just perfect for Rickalicious, and I think that's just what we were aiming for here. And really, I'm glad that it took the creation of The Mormon Bachelor for Bachelor Rick to start realizing that hanging out one on one with a girl is considered a date. Men! I think we just discovered why he's nearing 30 and still, S-I-N-G-L-E! It's quite endearing when Kristy refers to him as "Buck"--already, looks like she has her pet name picked out for him. Buck, Ricky baby, Bachelor Rick, get with the times, this girl doesn't want to be friends, she wants it bad, a bad romance that is. Rah, rah, ah, ah, ahhhh.
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
Monday, January 24, 2011
Date #12: Alisha
Alisha W.: We're not sure if we like this girl more or less because of her connection to Mormon Bachelorette Aubrey*. There's all sorts of pressure there that we're not sure if we're cool with.
Date Recap: Is this our first Sunday date? Yippee! This girl has the most unfortunate, unfortunate predicament of having the cameraman/woman present for the entire date, making for some major awkwardness. And if the awkwardness really wasn't there in person, it was big time for the viewers (at least for me) because in case you didn't catch on, this date is at Aubrey* Messick's house! Yikes! So maybe the second time around at this house will be successful? Aubrey* introduces Alisha before Bachelor Rick's arrival and holy smokes, is it just me or is Aubrey's* hair getting loooong? Bachelor Rick finally arrives and at least you can tell from the get go that Bachelor Rick thinks this girl is cute. And she is! But something about her also reminds me of one of those ladies from The Real Housewives series. I'm not sure what. Anyway, so Bachelor Rick and Alisha make breakfast together. Alisha pulls out the Bisquick and I cringe. Call me a breakfast snob, but on a date couldn't she have at least made an effort and made the waffles from scratch? Okay, that is a bit snobby of me and since Bachelor Rick has admitted he doesn't make food for himself, we know Bisquick is probably a real treat for him. Sorry for jumping the gun there, Aubrey*. Oh shoot, I mean Alisha. Do you think Bachelor Rick made that same mistake on the date? Do you think Bachelor Rick is looking around the house for Aubrey* the whole time? Do you think he wants Aubrey* to regret not choosing him? Do you think he's trying hard to impress Aubrey* in this date to make her regret not choosing him? Do you think he's not going to choose Alisha just to shove it in Aubrey's* face? Do you think . . . okay, we'll stop. He clearly has some initial interest in Alisha and we like that. We know since it's on Sunday and church is forthcoming that this date isn't as long as some of the others, but that's okay because quantity doesn't necessarily equal quality, does it? And this date seemed quality. Especially when they bust out the M-A-S-H. Is Alisha the first date to bring up the hypothetical marriage situation with the Bachelor? Props for that Alisha! Now you've got the wheels spinning in Rickster's head and all because of M-A-S-H. Well done, well done! And how sweet, he gives Alisha a ride to church! I wonder if he offered Aubrey* a ride, too? Now that she's engaged is she too cool to go to the same single's ward? Just when we were starting to think there just wasn't enough time for Bachelor Rick to get in the hand holding, he shows us how wrong we were for thinking that. He holds her hand for about 3.5 seconds from the door of his car to the church door. I wonder if he held her hand during church? Did he even sit by her? Were some of the other ladies from his date there watching? Oh to be a fly on the wall in that single's ward!
First Impression: This girl seems cute and successful, seeing as she has a job in Arizona and all. And that's cool she works for General Mills. Does that mean friends and family get free cereal? Since Rick doesn't cook, that would probably be a major appeal.
Surprises: This girl is totally cute and a good dresser. We like her. Of course a lot of our intial thoughts are superficial, of course, since we can't be there to talk to her firsthand, but do you think Aubrey* showed Alisha a picture of Rick beforehand? This girl seems California girl cute, meaning it seems like her type would be surfer boy, brunette or sun-bleached blonde and super bronzed. Like I said, this is all superficial thinking to lead me into thinking if you think he's her type?
Second date potential: Oh yeah. Bachelor Rick doesn't want to risk offending Bachelorette Aubrey*. And Bachelor Rick is totally digging this girl, so of course we will see a second date.
Creativity: Maybe not totally creative so I'll give her a 3. Ok, maybe a 4...come on, they played M-A-S-H and that is worth at least a point on its own. The only thing taking her down here is that she used Bisquick. Then again, she does work for General Mills, so despite her best efforts of advertising for them, it still wasn't that creative. Apparently this girl didn't have a lot to work with time wise if they could only make a Sunday morning date work. Was she only in town for Sunday morning? We aren't privy to this information or for any date scheduling info for any of these ladies, for that matter. That would be interesting to know.
Final thoughts: Can Arizona Alisha and California Bachelor Rick make long-distance work? Of course they can. Arizona and California aren't that far apart, really.
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
*Of course we're kidding about that stuff. But some people don't know, I guess.
Date Recap: Is this our first Sunday date? Yippee! This girl has the most unfortunate, unfortunate predicament of having the cameraman/woman present for the entire date, making for some major awkwardness. And if the awkwardness really wasn't there in person, it was big time for the viewers (at least for me) because in case you didn't catch on, this date is at Aubrey* Messick's house! Yikes! So maybe the second time around at this house will be successful? Aubrey* introduces Alisha before Bachelor Rick's arrival and holy smokes, is it just me or is Aubrey's* hair getting loooong? Bachelor Rick finally arrives and at least you can tell from the get go that Bachelor Rick thinks this girl is cute. And she is! But something about her also reminds me of one of those ladies from The Real Housewives series. I'm not sure what. Anyway, so Bachelor Rick and Alisha make breakfast together. Alisha pulls out the Bisquick and I cringe. Call me a breakfast snob, but on a date couldn't she have at least made an effort and made the waffles from scratch? Okay, that is a bit snobby of me and since Bachelor Rick has admitted he doesn't make food for himself, we know Bisquick is probably a real treat for him. Sorry for jumping the gun there, Aubrey*. Oh shoot, I mean Alisha. Do you think Bachelor Rick made that same mistake on the date? Do you think Bachelor Rick is looking around the house for Aubrey* the whole time? Do you think he wants Aubrey* to regret not choosing him? Do you think he's trying hard to impress Aubrey* in this date to make her regret not choosing him? Do you think he's not going to choose Alisha just to shove it in Aubrey's* face? Do you think . . . okay, we'll stop. He clearly has some initial interest in Alisha and we like that. We know since it's on Sunday and church is forthcoming that this date isn't as long as some of the others, but that's okay because quantity doesn't necessarily equal quality, does it? And this date seemed quality. Especially when they bust out the M-A-S-H. Is Alisha the first date to bring up the hypothetical marriage situation with the Bachelor? Props for that Alisha! Now you've got the wheels spinning in Rickster's head and all because of M-A-S-H. Well done, well done! And how sweet, he gives Alisha a ride to church! I wonder if he offered Aubrey* a ride, too? Now that she's engaged is she too cool to go to the same single's ward? Just when we were starting to think there just wasn't enough time for Bachelor Rick to get in the hand holding, he shows us how wrong we were for thinking that. He holds her hand for about 3.5 seconds from the door of his car to the church door. I wonder if he held her hand during church? Did he even sit by her? Were some of the other ladies from his date there watching? Oh to be a fly on the wall in that single's ward!
First Impression: This girl seems cute and successful, seeing as she has a job in Arizona and all. And that's cool she works for General Mills. Does that mean friends and family get free cereal? Since Rick doesn't cook, that would probably be a major appeal.
Surprises: This girl is totally cute and a good dresser. We like her. Of course a lot of our intial thoughts are superficial, of course, since we can't be there to talk to her firsthand, but do you think Aubrey* showed Alisha a picture of Rick beforehand? This girl seems California girl cute, meaning it seems like her type would be surfer boy, brunette or sun-bleached blonde and super bronzed. Like I said, this is all superficial thinking to lead me into thinking if you think he's her type?
Second date potential: Oh yeah. Bachelor Rick doesn't want to risk offending Bachelorette Aubrey*. And Bachelor Rick is totally digging this girl, so of course we will see a second date.
Creativity: Maybe not totally creative so I'll give her a 3. Ok, maybe a 4...come on, they played M-A-S-H and that is worth at least a point on its own. The only thing taking her down here is that she used Bisquick. Then again, she does work for General Mills, so despite her best efforts of advertising for them, it still wasn't that creative. Apparently this girl didn't have a lot to work with time wise if they could only make a Sunday morning date work. Was she only in town for Sunday morning? We aren't privy to this information or for any date scheduling info for any of these ladies, for that matter. That would be interesting to know.
Final thoughts: Can Arizona Alisha and California Bachelor Rick make long-distance work? Of course they can. Arizona and California aren't that far apart, really.
So, are we dead on or dead wrong on this one?
*Of course we're kidding about that stuff. But some people don't know, I guess.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Date #11 Christina "Beana"
Beana H.: Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. Please make sure your seat back and folding trays are in their full upright position. It's going to be a turbulent-free ride! On behalf of The Mormon Bachelor, I'm Beana, welcome aboard date #11!
Date Recap: Bachelor Rick swings by Christina Beana Bo-Beana's place to pick her up for whopping date #11. Can you believe our little Ricky-Rick has made it to the half-way mark?! Apparently he has been under the weather, so I guess all these dates have really taken its toll on the poor man! (Wait, we don't really feel bad for him though, right? I mean come on... what person who has ever played the dating game actually feels bad for this guy? He has had some serious PDA action going on for the last 11 days, including, but not limited to, holding hands and even some lip action. No wonder he's sick. Fess up, which of you ladies didn't wash your hands!? Or rather, should we check in with-ahem-Sam to see if she's sick too? WE KID!). Now back to our regular programming: Bachelor Rick acts pleasantly surprised when his date swings open the door, and there she stands: Ms. Marry-Me-and-Fly-for-Free herself! Can't be excited enough about that perk! And if that weren't enough, Mr. TMB reveals right there on the doorstep that his whole family loves her. We're guessing they want in on the buddy passes too? Are we right, or are we right? ;) As it turns out, it's Mr. I-Don't-Feel-Well's lucky day, because Beana has planned a little R & R to Glen Ivy Hot Springs Spa (spa being the magic word here). The two immerse themselves in a mud bath, where a playful little mud fight takes place. Next up is some sun-bathing in the California sun where Beana gives us some insight on how such a cute girl ended up on the Mormon Bachelor. A dating doozy in Salt Lake City is the reason behind it. Thanks buddy... whoever you are! Your loss is Rick's gain! We get worried for a second that he doesn't hold her hand. But then, we scared ourselves for nothing. Hand holding. Check. To end fun time at the spa, Beana and Ricky maneuver their way through some little rock maize thing. Beana ends up jumping and throwing herself into Prince Rick's arms. True story. She really does. It makes us a little nervous, most of which can be summed up by saying that Prince Charming barely catches her. We'll blame it on him feeling under the weather. Maybe next time, just don't do that, k? The date wraps up back where it began at Beana's place where the two partake of acai bowls, whatever that means. And then, another awkward hug at the doorstep. It looks like someone (name starts with "R" and ends with "ick") hesitated a little too long to seal the deal. DANG IT, RICK!
First Impressions: We are on the wings of love with this girl! We like to see that these girls aren't as lame as their application videos first implied, so thanks Beana for proving your video wrong! You are a delightful, chill, happy person with a pleasant laugh and affection for the word "duh." Next time you go to a spa, can we PUH-LEASE come with you?!
Surprises: WHAT?! No kiss?! She was totally ready for one-- she even had gum in her mouth so her breath would be fresh and minty clean, just how dentists (and non-dentists alike) like it! Why was there no kiss?! She totally earned one for making you feel better! Also, this girl has some serious guts for going straight for the swimsuit on the first date. A woman who has no qualms. We dig it.
Second Date Potential: Mile High (are you sick of the flying puns yet? Don't worry, we're almost done). Like we've said before, who doesn't like a girl with hookups? Especially one that can fly anywhere she wants around the world. Eternal buddy pass? I think Rick already knows he'd be remiss if he didn't go on date number two!
TMB Excitement Level: We already know Rick's family is excited about this one. But was Rick? The spa sure seemed to rejuvenate his spirits, as if they really needed rejuvenating. At least we know this girl's got what it takes to cure an ailing TMB. Plus, she quit her teaching job to be a flight attendant, we kinda think that's cool. Flying is way more rewarding than teaching. You're just gonna have to take our word for it!
Creativity: Girl, you score sky high on this date! First off, Rick has never been to this spa or any spa. Pretty sure he's been to a bazillion theme parks though. We hope to see no more of those on these dates. That being said, your heatlhy shmealthy food, also of which Mr. TMB has never experienced, scores some points too. We're going to have to give you a 9.9999 on our scale. We can't be givin' away 10's so liberally now... there would never be room for improvement!
Final Thoughts: On behalf of Beana Hathaway and the entire TMB crew, we'd like to thank you for joining us for date #11. We look forward to seeing you again in the near future... like on our second date?! You bet. Over and out.
So, are we dead on or dead wrong? What do you think?
So, are we dead on or dead wrong? What do you think?
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Date #10 Sara
Sara O.: Sara, Sara, Sara (you know, like Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!)! Who knew there were that many single LDS girls named Sara/h? Wait. Did we already use that line back with Sara #3? Well here we are with Sara #4. We can’t complain too much though because we really liked this girl.
Date Recap: Another theme park. This time at Disneyland. We’re glad Bachelor Rick has a strong stomach for rollercoasters, otherwise these dates would do quite the number on his system. But thanks to a few dates back, Rickilicious now has his pepto of choice figured out. This theme park date varies a bit from the previous two, because somehow, although Bachelor Rick doesn't reveal her secrets, Sara's got the hookup with D-Land. We get very little insight into their conversation to learn much more than that. In fact, the only conversation we even get to hear is their initial talk about whether to hit up California Land first. Oh, man, that is a rough one! California Land, no, Frontier Land, no... ugh! What to do?! The decision is unanimous, and they head to California Adventures. From this point on in the short video, we see a lot of waiting in line. I mean, a lot. I guess her hookups weren’t enough to bypass the lines. Though maybe she’s more big time than we think, and just wanted to make Rick feel “normal” by waiting in line with the rest of the D-Land folks. Throughout the line waiting and walking to the next ride, we slowly see the pair move from miles apart to much closer together- and finally BAM. Minute marker 1:26! They’re holding hands. The rest of the date moves forward without a hitch and the lovely couple caps off the date at Club 33. Though it’s a mystery what actually happens up there once the pair makes their escape in the ever-so-high-techy looking elevator. Come on, Rick. What happened to your spy watch?! First Impressions: This girl threw me off. With Bachelor Rick's misleading date recap, we thought she was going to be conceited and full of herself. Was it just us or didn't he really make it sound that way? Let's recap: "There is nothing more annoying than someone that goes on and on about how great they are. What I liked about my
date with Sara Olds is that she had this concept down pat." Is no one editing his stuff? I think what he meant to say was, “What I liked about my date with Sara Olds is that she was far from this concept.” Of course, she still could have been conceited--we will never know, because, again, we didn't pick up on much of the conversation. But she certainly didn’t seem that way. And we get good vibes from this lovely, stylish lady. And when we say stylish...are those jeggings?
Surprises: Well, I'll tell you one thing that is NOT a surprise. Bachelor Rick held her hand. Okay, okay. Is there anyone's hand that he hasn't held yet? But seriously we kept waiting and waiting and WAITING. Geez Rick, what took you so long?! It’s almost become a game now to find the point where Rick-lover-of-hand-holding (RLOHH) finally decides to swoop in to make the moves. If only cute Sara would have ditched her purse and sunglasses sooner, then maybe she would have freed up both hands to allow RLOHH to grab her hand much quicker. Ladies, you really gotta keep those hands free!
Second Date potential: Moderate to High. With this girl's hookups, Bachelor Rick is gonna want a second date. Where else is she going to take him? I think Rick wants to know the same thing.
TMB Excitement Level: She's cute. She's stylish. She's got hook-ups. Everyone wants friends with hook-ups. But goodness... where is she from, what does she do, how old is she, did the two know each other before? We have no idea, and we want to know.
Creativity (1-10): Sorry, Sara, as fun as your date looks, we can only give you a 4. Maaaybe we can push it to a 4.99997 because of your Club 33 connection. But that's as far as we can go. Yes, it is Disneyland, the theme parks of all theme parks, but for a date idea theme parks are just getting a little tiresome.
Final thoughts: At this point, if hand holding is any indicator, Bachelor Rick is going to have a rough go at narrowing down to only 8 second dates. A really rough go.
So are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
So are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Friday, January 21, 2011
Date #9 Angie
Angie P.: As a courtesy to our new Peruvian friend, we will avoid using any Spanish in this post to avoid offending her by our butchering of the language of love (or is Italian the language of love?).
Date Recap: Bachelor Rick arrives at the apartment of his 9th date. The door opens to reveal a petite Peruvian powerhouse named Angie. Hi Angie! She takes Bachelor Rick to a Peruvian restaurant to experience her culture first-hand. So far so good. On the way out, they leave arm in arm, but wait, not hand in hand? What's up with that, Bachelor Rick? We were under the impression that you thought you had to hold every date's hand! Maybe later? Okay, we'll see. They go back to Angie's apartment where the Bachelor attempts to make crepes. Mmmm. Crepes. They look like they're having fun making them and they look super tasty. The crepes, that is. The conversation and laughs appear to flow naturally, which is always a good sign. Last activity for the evening is Latin dancing. Go Rick, go Rick, go Rick! Shake your booty, shake your booty! And wholly-moley check out the height on Angie's heels! Those have got to be a good six inches! I'm somewhat afraid for Angie's safety at this point. Or maybe I'm afraid for Rick's safety? Those heels could do some serious damage. Luckily, they escape the night with no injury and all leave happy--well, except for Angie who didn't get that kiss she wanted. Sorry, Angie. Maybe next time?
First Impression: Cute girl, seems like loads of fun. I want to hang out with her and have her make crepes for me, too! Her fashion sense is a little out there, but not every Mormon girl has the same taste and variety can only be a good thing in Bachelor Rick's journey to find true love. Angie even has a heart on her shirt, is that a sign?
Surprises: Apparently a cousin applied for her to be on this and this Peruvian pint is a boxer--sweetness!
Second Date Potential: Moderate. Did she have fun with Bachelor Rick? No question. Did Rick have fun with her? Of course. But was there romantic chemistry? On her side, yes. On his, questionable. If there is a second date, Angie, consider ditching the high-heels for something more casual? Just a suggestion.
Creativity Level: Gotta give the girl a 9 because she is the first date so far to bring her talents to the kitchen! Not sure why she didn't just make him dinner, too, but at least she showed him her baking skills and what guy doesn't love a girl who can get her bake on?
Final Thoughts: There's a sense of differentness about this date and not just because Angie's the first non-white girl. It could possibly be that she was the first date to let Bachelor Rick into her home and share her talents with him. The first girl to allow Bachelor Rick to use his Spanish? You know every guy loves to show off their mission skills. Props to her for being vulnerable.
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Date Recap: Bachelor Rick arrives at the apartment of his 9th date. The door opens to reveal a petite Peruvian powerhouse named Angie. Hi Angie! She takes Bachelor Rick to a Peruvian restaurant to experience her culture first-hand. So far so good. On the way out, they leave arm in arm, but wait, not hand in hand? What's up with that, Bachelor Rick? We were under the impression that you thought you had to hold every date's hand! Maybe later? Okay, we'll see. They go back to Angie's apartment where the Bachelor attempts to make crepes. Mmmm. Crepes. They look like they're having fun making them and they look super tasty. The crepes, that is. The conversation and laughs appear to flow naturally, which is always a good sign. Last activity for the evening is Latin dancing. Go Rick, go Rick, go Rick! Shake your booty, shake your booty! And wholly-moley check out the height on Angie's heels! Those have got to be a good six inches! I'm somewhat afraid for Angie's safety at this point. Or maybe I'm afraid for Rick's safety? Those heels could do some serious damage. Luckily, they escape the night with no injury and all leave happy--well, except for Angie who didn't get that kiss she wanted. Sorry, Angie. Maybe next time?
First Impression: Cute girl, seems like loads of fun. I want to hang out with her and have her make crepes for me, too! Her fashion sense is a little out there, but not every Mormon girl has the same taste and variety can only be a good thing in Bachelor Rick's journey to find true love. Angie even has a heart on her shirt, is that a sign?
Surprises: Apparently a cousin applied for her to be on this and this Peruvian pint is a boxer--sweetness!
Second Date Potential: Moderate. Did she have fun with Bachelor Rick? No question. Did Rick have fun with her? Of course. But was there romantic chemistry? On her side, yes. On his, questionable. If there is a second date, Angie, consider ditching the high-heels for something more casual? Just a suggestion.
Creativity Level: Gotta give the girl a 9 because she is the first date so far to bring her talents to the kitchen! Not sure why she didn't just make him dinner, too, but at least she showed him her baking skills and what guy doesn't love a girl who can get her bake on?
Final Thoughts: There's a sense of differentness about this date and not just because Angie's the first non-white girl. It could possibly be that she was the first date to let Bachelor Rick into her home and share her talents with him. The first girl to allow Bachelor Rick to use his Spanish? You know every guy loves to show off their mission skills. Props to her for being vulnerable.
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Date #8 Roxanne
Roxanne T.: We don't think cute Roxanne was trying to be his twiner for realsies. But she is lucky date number eight!
Creativity Points (1-10): Let’s give the girl a 8. This isn’t just any restaurant after all. It’s a fondue restaurant that plays LIVE music type-of-restaurant. And, she was date #8, so it just seems fitting, if for no other reason.
Final Thoughts: Roxanne, we like you. And we think you should get a second date because it appears the two of you were having fun together. But all of your fans are dying to know: What is your favorite JT song? We feel like your answer could reveal a lot about you and your future with Bachelor Rick. Sexy Back? Cry Me a River? What Goes Around Comes Around?
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Date Recap: The date begins with a real treat of some behind the scenes footage: We get a little peaksy weaksy of Bachelor Rick getting ready for the date. Hubba hubba! This is definitely a side we need to see more often. Agreed? Our favorite line was prompted by cameraman’s question, “How do you mentally prepare for your dates?” Bachelor Ricky replies, “I do mental push-ups.” Classic. We also get some insight into Da Rickstah’s hair products, which I know all the ladies out there were dying to know how he gets his blonde locks so suave, so you too can create his look at home. Here’s the secret: He uses pomade and not gel. Whewwww. So glad he let us in on that little gem of a gem. Okay,sorry Roxanne, we know this post is about you. So, we’ll get on with it. As Rick swings open the door to find out who lucky date number eight is his reaction clearly illustrates that the two are not strangers. Heck, we could even go so far as to say the two could even resemble twins. Anyone see the resemblance here? So, at least they’re off on the right foot. They’re old friends, and they are wearing identical accessories. It makes us excited right from the get go. The pair head to a fondue-live jazz music joint and dip the night away with their fondue goodies. I dip, you dip, we dip. Anyone, anyone? Back to the date. The two take a few spins on the dance floor and then head to the parking garage holding hands where the Buckmobile awaits. The date ends with an awkward hug goodbye at the doorstep. We really love those.
First Impression: The girl is a cutie. And she accessorizes to match her date. Tall, dark and stylish... We dig it.
Surprises: Roxanne reveals that she has been to... wait for it... three Justin Timberlake concerts. THREE. I mean, I like N’Sync and all, but three? At least the girl knows how to drop it like it’s hot while sitting in her chair listening to live jazz music. I wanted to be there at that moment to jive with her. I was going to say that it was a SURPRISE Roxy and Ricky hold hands! But by now, we have come to expect this public display of affection, that we here at RealityMormon will refer to as PDA. Oh, what’s that? You’re familiar with this term?
Second Date Potential: Moderate to High. You bet this girl has got potential for a second TMB date. The equation is right here. She knows him. She dresses like him. But maybe that’s too much? So, maybe the equation is wrong? Since they’re friends, has Rick asked her out before? If not, why not? If so, what happened that she allowed him to slip away? We aren’t privy to this information. But just in case a date two is in order, we’ll hope that Justin Timberlake is in town, for Roxy’s sake.
TMB Excitement Level: Rick was genuinely excited to see her at the door. I mean, come on, you could hear it in his voice! But then, we wonder if the excitement died a little when he questioned why she’d been to so many JT concerts. But then, it clearly didn’t die, because he held her hand. But then, he has held a lot of hands. So then, what are we to think? Bachelor Rick, please don’t make this so hard on us. Can we just start a new system? Give us a thumbs up behind your back if you like her as more than friends, because this holding hands thing ain't giving us any insight. This will really help our rating system.
First Impression: The girl is a cutie. And she accessorizes to match her date. Tall, dark and stylish... We dig it.
Surprises: Roxanne reveals that she has been to... wait for it... three Justin Timberlake concerts. THREE. I mean, I like N’Sync and all, but three? At least the girl knows how to drop it like it’s hot while sitting in her chair listening to live jazz music. I wanted to be there at that moment to jive with her. I was going to say that it was a SURPRISE Roxy and Ricky hold hands! But by now, we have come to expect this public display of affection, that we here at RealityMormon will refer to as PDA. Oh, what’s that? You’re familiar with this term?
Second Date Potential: Moderate to High. You bet this girl has got potential for a second TMB date. The equation is right here. She knows him. She dresses like him. But maybe that’s too much? So, maybe the equation is wrong? Since they’re friends, has Rick asked her out before? If not, why not? If so, what happened that she allowed him to slip away? We aren’t privy to this information. But just in case a date two is in order, we’ll hope that Justin Timberlake is in town, for Roxy’s sake.
TMB Excitement Level: Rick was genuinely excited to see her at the door. I mean, come on, you could hear it in his voice! But then, we wonder if the excitement died a little when he questioned why she’d been to so many JT concerts. But then, it clearly didn’t die, because he held her hand. But then, he has held a lot of hands. So then, what are we to think? Bachelor Rick, please don’t make this so hard on us. Can we just start a new system? Give us a thumbs up behind your back if you like her as more than friends, because this holding hands thing ain't giving us any insight. This will really help our rating system.
Creativity Points (1-10): Let’s give the girl a 8. This isn’t just any restaurant after all. It’s a fondue restaurant that plays LIVE music type-of-restaurant. And, she was date #8, so it just seems fitting, if for no other reason.
Final Thoughts: Roxanne, we like you. And we think you should get a second date because it appears the two of you were having fun together. But all of your fans are dying to know: What is your favorite JT song? We feel like your answer could reveal a lot about you and your future with Bachelor Rick. Sexy Back? Cry Me a River? What Goes Around Comes Around?
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Date #7 Karen
Karen H.: I just said her name outloud and for some reason it made me giggle. So, I'm going to give her points just for that. And just to clear the air, Bachelor Rick, I don't know where the phrase "A rolling stone gathers no moss" comes from either. But I would do just about anything to find out. Seriously.
Date Recap: This second out of towner date starts at Knott's Berry Farm. Is this a good time to admit that my whole life I always thought it was "Knox Berry Farm"? I don't know what Knott's Berries are and I don't know what Knox Berries are, so I never had any reason to believe I was wrong. There you have it. Glad I got that out of the way. So technically, the date didn't start at Knott's/Knox Berry Farm. Bachelor Richard picked her up at an undisclosed location. This girl is from Arizona, so maybe she's staying with family? Anyway, they appear to have good conversation moving from point A to point B and then from point C to point D but even after getting off the Exccelerator they are still standing a good 10 feet apart from each other. If that can't bring you together, what will? Okay, okay, they stopped to talk to the camera man and they have their arms around each other. I'm not sure what ride brought that together but I am for sure going on it the next time I go to Knox Berry Farm. I mean Knotts Berry Farm. Oh, oh, oh! There's a close up of the hand holding. Uh, wait a second. Is she wearing spikes? I guess that explains why Bachelor Rick was keeping his distance. That is all we see of this date, but we know from Bachey Richey's comments that there is more too it. He gets sick. She picks out the right kind of Pepto for him (does it get any sweeter than that?) and then they watch a movie. That's all we know.
First Impression: Bachelor Rick's first impressions of this girl "She's tall and pretty." Our first impression of this girl: she's tall and pretty. We like her maturity and the fact that she applied because she really liked Rick. Wait. Did she even know Rick before? I don't think so. But the attraction reached across the cyberworld and grabbed hold of her tightly. Or something like that. Gotta give her props for having some guts.
Surprises: Karen, we have two comments. 1) Where is your Lexus? BMW? Camry? I can't remember what you drive, but regardless, how are we supposed to judge your chemistry with Bachelor Rick without seeing your cars together!?! Answer: we just can't. I'm sorry. We just can't. 2) No Price Is Right?
Second Date Potential: Moderate. Sure they held hands (even though the first half of their date it appeared they were purposely standing about 17 feet away from each other), but from the whopping three and a half minute video of their date, I just didn't pick up a lot of chemistry vibes going on. Plus, Bachelor Buckster mentioned more than once how long the date was. If you're having fun and want to be with the person, you don't notice how long a date is. In fact, you probably want it to keep going even if it has already been a 16 hour date. Am I right, or am I right? But, on the off chance there IS a date numero dos, Karen, maybe I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing you don't speak with a southern accent very often? No? Didn't think so. You should probably steer clear of that on future dates. It kinda made me cringe. Just sayin'. But hey, maybe there's a chance to redeem yourself. AZ isn't that far from CA and maybe you and your cars could meet in the middle?
Creativity Scale (1-10): Hmmm. A 4, maybe? I mean come on, a theme park in Southern California? Been there. Done that.
Final Thoughts: Karen seems like a girl who is in charge. Not large and in charge. Just in charge. She knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. You go girl!
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Date Recap: This second out of towner date starts at Knott's Berry Farm. Is this a good time to admit that my whole life I always thought it was "Knox Berry Farm"? I don't know what Knott's Berries are and I don't know what Knox Berries are, so I never had any reason to believe I was wrong. There you have it. Glad I got that out of the way. So technically, the date didn't start at Knott's/Knox Berry Farm. Bachelor Richard picked her up at an undisclosed location. This girl is from Arizona, so maybe she's staying with family? Anyway, they appear to have good conversation moving from point A to point B and then from point C to point D but even after getting off the Exccelerator they are still standing a good 10 feet apart from each other. If that can't bring you together, what will? Okay, okay, they stopped to talk to the camera man and they have their arms around each other. I'm not sure what ride brought that together but I am for sure going on it the next time I go to Knox Berry Farm. I mean Knotts Berry Farm. Oh, oh, oh! There's a close up of the hand holding. Uh, wait a second. Is she wearing spikes? I guess that explains why Bachelor Rick was keeping his distance. That is all we see of this date, but we know from Bachey Richey's comments that there is more too it. He gets sick. She picks out the right kind of Pepto for him (does it get any sweeter than that?) and then they watch a movie. That's all we know.
First Impression: Bachelor Rick's first impressions of this girl "She's tall and pretty." Our first impression of this girl: she's tall and pretty. We like her maturity and the fact that she applied because she really liked Rick. Wait. Did she even know Rick before? I don't think so. But the attraction reached across the cyberworld and grabbed hold of her tightly. Or something like that. Gotta give her props for having some guts.
Surprises: Karen, we have two comments. 1) Where is your Lexus? BMW? Camry? I can't remember what you drive, but regardless, how are we supposed to judge your chemistry with Bachelor Rick without seeing your cars together!?! Answer: we just can't. I'm sorry. We just can't. 2) No Price Is Right?
Second Date Potential: Moderate. Sure they held hands (even though the first half of their date it appeared they were purposely standing about 17 feet away from each other), but from the whopping three and a half minute video of their date, I just didn't pick up a lot of chemistry vibes going on. Plus, Bachelor Buckster mentioned more than once how long the date was. If you're having fun and want to be with the person, you don't notice how long a date is. In fact, you probably want it to keep going even if it has already been a 16 hour date. Am I right, or am I right? But, on the off chance there IS a date numero dos, Karen, maybe I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing you don't speak with a southern accent very often? No? Didn't think so. You should probably steer clear of that on future dates. It kinda made me cringe. Just sayin'. But hey, maybe there's a chance to redeem yourself. AZ isn't that far from CA and maybe you and your cars could meet in the middle?
Creativity Scale (1-10): Hmmm. A 4, maybe? I mean come on, a theme park in Southern California? Been there. Done that.
Final Thoughts: Karen seems like a girl who is in charge. Not large and in charge. Just in charge. She knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. You go girl!
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Date #6 Samantha
Samantha G.: Sam, dear Sam. Can I call you Sam? I just want you to know this one thing: thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for leaving your pirate act at home on this one.
Date Recap: Did Samantha really pick Bachelor Rick up for their date? Yes she did, she's just that kinda girl--not afraid to be assertive (only confirmed as the date progresses)! Sam gives Bachelor Rick a long and lingering hug at the door and asks if he remembers her from when they were five--she even holds her hand out in the number five in case Bachelor Rick is too dumb, or blinded by her cuteness, to have heard the actual word "five." However, if we're being honest, we all know there is quite an age difference between these two thanks to her application video. So when Sam was "five" Bachelor Rick was probably 21. Just wanted to make that clear. I kid. This age stuff is all relative, right? Moving on . . . the date starts with Sam flipping a quarter to find out which direction they're going and then Bachelor Rick picking a "mileage sticker" to tell them how far to go on each turn. Well, it "turns" out they end up at a romantically lit gazebo, straight from some movie, although I can't remember which one, where Miss Sam pulls out some In-N-Out burgers. I could sure go for one of those about now. At this point we see that Sam did a good job planning this date, because clearly Bachelor Rick likes his burgers. After eating and flirting, they head to a little amusement park of sorts and yet again Sam pulls out the "let's draw cards" bit to decide to the fates what activity they'll do next. There are bumper cars, creative miniature golfing where GASP, they lean in for a kiss. Told ya she was assertive! Or did Rick make the move? It's so hard to tell on YouTube.
First Impression: Cute girl, for sure. Young? Quite so. Will that stop Rick from dating her? Probably not.
Surprises: I think we learned more about Bachelor Rick from this date than we did about Sam. Sure there was the kiss and that in and of itself wasn't that surprisng because she's an actress and we expected drama. But here's what we learned about our pal TMB. Why someone Bachelor Rick's age is so enthralled with a Mylie Cyrus double is beyond us. Didn't she just turn 16? Isn't that a little out of his genre? That would be like Sara(h) 1, 2 or 3 being blown away that their date was once in a Justin Beiber music video. I just don't see any of them finding something like that "pinch me now" worthy. Also questionable is that Bachelor Rick said he had seen her at a few parties. I repeat, what is a guy his age doing at a party with girls her age? Bachelor Rick, we need to have a talk about this!
Second Date Potential: High. Very high. He kissed her for craps sake (and she's actually cuter than Mylie Cyrus). If he doesn't take her out again, he'll be forever labeled something very bad by every Mormon girl who follows TMB (how many is that anyway?). Maybe on their second date they can do something more traditional--maybe a bonfire on the beach where they can burn her high-wedged tennis shoes?
TMB Excitement Level: Bachelor Rick was definitely a little giddy after this date. He got some action, so most guys would be. Was the action too soon though? Some guys become un-enamored by a girl if they kiss her too soon. Is Rick one of these guys? Was Miss Sammy's actress side just busting at the seem to get the first kiss? Only time will tell.
Creativity Points: I say an 8. Sure her idea was fun and creative, but it wasn't totally original. I remember having several similar dates in high school. But, they both enjoyed themselves and that's what is most important, so good job Sam!
Final Thoughts: Sam, dear Sam. I like you because you'd probably be fun to hang out with and fun at parties (Party in the USA, right, Rickster?). You're an actress. You have a flair for the dramatic, as evidenced by your application video and only confirmed by this date. Bachelor Rick, dear Bachelor Rick, let's have that talk soon, okay?
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Date Recap: Did Samantha really pick Bachelor Rick up for their date? Yes she did, she's just that kinda girl--not afraid to be assertive (only confirmed as the date progresses)! Sam gives Bachelor Rick a long and lingering hug at the door and asks if he remembers her from when they were five--she even holds her hand out in the number five in case Bachelor Rick is too dumb, or blinded by her cuteness, to have heard the actual word "five." However, if we're being honest, we all know there is quite an age difference between these two thanks to her application video. So when Sam was "five" Bachelor Rick was probably 21. Just wanted to make that clear. I kid. This age stuff is all relative, right? Moving on . . . the date starts with Sam flipping a quarter to find out which direction they're going and then Bachelor Rick picking a "mileage sticker" to tell them how far to go on each turn. Well, it "turns" out they end up at a romantically lit gazebo, straight from some movie, although I can't remember which one, where Miss Sam pulls out some In-N-Out burgers. I could sure go for one of those about now. At this point we see that Sam did a good job planning this date, because clearly Bachelor Rick likes his burgers. After eating and flirting, they head to a little amusement park of sorts and yet again Sam pulls out the "let's draw cards" bit to decide to the fates what activity they'll do next. There are bumper cars, creative miniature golfing where GASP, they lean in for a kiss. Told ya she was assertive! Or did Rick make the move? It's so hard to tell on YouTube.
First Impression: Cute girl, for sure. Young? Quite so. Will that stop Rick from dating her? Probably not.
Surprises: I think we learned more about Bachelor Rick from this date than we did about Sam. Sure there was the kiss and that in and of itself wasn't that surprisng because she's an actress and we expected drama. But here's what we learned about our pal TMB. Why someone Bachelor Rick's age is so enthralled with a Mylie Cyrus double is beyond us. Didn't she just turn 16? Isn't that a little out of his genre? That would be like Sara(h) 1, 2 or 3 being blown away that their date was once in a Justin Beiber music video. I just don't see any of them finding something like that "pinch me now" worthy. Also questionable is that Bachelor Rick said he had seen her at a few parties. I repeat, what is a guy his age doing at a party with girls her age? Bachelor Rick, we need to have a talk about this!
Second Date Potential: High. Very high. He kissed her for craps sake (and she's actually cuter than Mylie Cyrus). If he doesn't take her out again, he'll be forever labeled something very bad by every Mormon girl who follows TMB (how many is that anyway?). Maybe on their second date they can do something more traditional--maybe a bonfire on the beach where they can burn her high-wedged tennis shoes?
TMB Excitement Level: Bachelor Rick was definitely a little giddy after this date. He got some action, so most guys would be. Was the action too soon though? Some guys become un-enamored by a girl if they kiss her too soon. Is Rick one of these guys? Was Miss Sammy's actress side just busting at the seem to get the first kiss? Only time will tell.
Creativity Points: I say an 8. Sure her idea was fun and creative, but it wasn't totally original. I remember having several similar dates in high school. But, they both enjoyed themselves and that's what is most important, so good job Sam!
Final Thoughts: Sam, dear Sam. I like you because you'd probably be fun to hang out with and fun at parties (Party in the USA, right, Rickster?). You're an actress. You have a flair for the dramatic, as evidenced by your application video and only confirmed by this date. Bachelor Rick, dear Bachelor Rick, let's have that talk soon, okay?
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Date #5 Keri
Keri M.: Five golden "dates" already? Hold on tight ladies and gents, we're going Wild Willy style, and bringing out the guns for this one. Plus, our first sponsored date. Thanks Perfect Shot Photo Booth!
Date Recap: This date starts off with the Fedex woman making a "special delivery" and what could be more special than Keri being the package that's delivered to the Rickmeister? I couldn't tell if Rick felt awkward about this or not, so why not hug it out and laugh it off. After a quick wardrobe change, it was off in the "buckmobile" to Magnum Range, where shots were fired at Bin Laden. But hold up a second here, let's not pass up an opportunity to question Bachelor Rick's manliness. Bachelor Rick, were you just nervous, or have you never loaded a gun before? Thanks to the video editor's, it's made ever apparent that the Rickemeister was having some struggles when the clip drops out of the gun, followed by some fiddling around (with the gun people! And yes, we just went there) before they figured out how to actually get it loaded. I'm glad the editors couldn't pass up the opportunity to take a stab at Bachelor Rick, either, it makes us feel more justified. Moving right along. It wasn't long before we saw who really brought their A game to the range. It would be our girl Keri, who really hit him with her best shot. Bachelor Rick tried to bust it out gangster style, but I don't think that helped his aim any. And poor Keri just looked embarrassed. I guess they're even now. Following their shooting escapade, it was off to The Old Spaghetti Factory, so they could "get their Italian on" according to Bachelor Rick. Conversation remains a mystery, which makes me wonder what was being said in between the slurping of noodles? They seemed to be having a good time, at least I think I saw a smile or two on the Buck-a-roo's face. So, why the lack of PDA on their way to the car after dinner? We know he's not afraid to get a little physical, physical. Maybe the doggie bags got in the way? Convenient or not, we'll never know. So, the question is, was this date a struggle for Keri, the girl whose never dated a Mormon? Or will Rick be the first Mormon she locks lips with? We'll just have to wait and see.
First Impression: At first I questioned her going on a date in her work uniform, what a first impression, right? But after her "special delivery" package was delivered, I thought she freshened up quite nice. Or maybe too nice for the shooting range? All in all she seems like the crazy fun type of roommate that every girl has had. Did I just hit a bare bone with that one?
Surprises: A few things surprised me about this date. We learned that Bachelor Rick and guns might not be the best of friends. And maybe that's a good thing. I mean, guns kill. What about the lack of hand holding on this date though? Just when I was starting to think that's your kind of thing, Ricky?
Second Date Potential: Moderate. I don't know if she hit him with her best shot, but she sure did fire away and gave it all she's got. And really, you have to give her props for that. I'm still stuck on her never dating a Mormon though...
TMB Excitement Level: He seemed like a giddy little boy, who just shot his first gun and is real proud of his efforts. Even lousy efforts are something for him to be proud of. Just kidding, Bachelor Rick, we know you can't always nail it the first time to a shooting range. And yes, we say that from experience. Back to the date here. When you throw in the fact that they both tried out for American Idol on the SAME day at the SAME place, we can't help but think, soul mates?
Creativity Points (1-10): We give Keri a 7 for this date. She has to get some points for coming to the door in "disguise" with her "special delivery" package and all.
Final Thoughts: We think Keri is cute, and she seems fun, but I'm just going to say it, I have a concern, with both of them wanting to be the center of attention, I can see this relationship getting rocky real fast. The question is, will they ever make it to karaoke for date two? I'd sure like to hear the vocals on that one.
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Date Recap: This date starts off with the Fedex woman making a "special delivery" and what could be more special than Keri being the package that's delivered to the Rickmeister? I couldn't tell if Rick felt awkward about this or not, so why not hug it out and laugh it off. After a quick wardrobe change, it was off in the "buckmobile" to Magnum Range, where shots were fired at Bin Laden. But hold up a second here, let's not pass up an opportunity to question Bachelor Rick's manliness. Bachelor Rick, were you just nervous, or have you never loaded a gun before? Thanks to the video editor's, it's made ever apparent that the Rickemeister was having some struggles when the clip drops out of the gun, followed by some fiddling around (with the gun people! And yes, we just went there) before they figured out how to actually get it loaded. I'm glad the editors couldn't pass up the opportunity to take a stab at Bachelor Rick, either, it makes us feel more justified. Moving right along. It wasn't long before we saw who really brought their A game to the range. It would be our girl Keri, who really hit him with her best shot. Bachelor Rick tried to bust it out gangster style, but I don't think that helped his aim any. And poor Keri just looked embarrassed. I guess they're even now. Following their shooting escapade, it was off to The Old Spaghetti Factory, so they could "get their Italian on" according to Bachelor Rick. Conversation remains a mystery, which makes me wonder what was being said in between the slurping of noodles? They seemed to be having a good time, at least I think I saw a smile or two on the Buck-a-roo's face. So, why the lack of PDA on their way to the car after dinner? We know he's not afraid to get a little physical, physical. Maybe the doggie bags got in the way? Convenient or not, we'll never know. So, the question is, was this date a struggle for Keri, the girl whose never dated a Mormon? Or will Rick be the first Mormon she locks lips with? We'll just have to wait and see.
First Impression: At first I questioned her going on a date in her work uniform, what a first impression, right? But after her "special delivery" package was delivered, I thought she freshened up quite nice. Or maybe too nice for the shooting range? All in all she seems like the crazy fun type of roommate that every girl has had. Did I just hit a bare bone with that one?
Surprises: A few things surprised me about this date. We learned that Bachelor Rick and guns might not be the best of friends. And maybe that's a good thing. I mean, guns kill. What about the lack of hand holding on this date though? Just when I was starting to think that's your kind of thing, Ricky?
Second Date Potential: Moderate. I don't know if she hit him with her best shot, but she sure did fire away and gave it all she's got. And really, you have to give her props for that. I'm still stuck on her never dating a Mormon though...
TMB Excitement Level: He seemed like a giddy little boy, who just shot his first gun and is real proud of his efforts. Even lousy efforts are something for him to be proud of. Just kidding, Bachelor Rick, we know you can't always nail it the first time to a shooting range. And yes, we say that from experience. Back to the date here. When you throw in the fact that they both tried out for American Idol on the SAME day at the SAME place, we can't help but think, soul mates?
Creativity Points (1-10): We give Keri a 7 for this date. She has to get some points for coming to the door in "disguise" with her "special delivery" package and all.
Final Thoughts: We think Keri is cute, and she seems fun, but I'm just going to say it, I have a concern, with both of them wanting to be the center of attention, I can see this relationship getting rocky real fast. The question is, will they ever make it to karaoke for date two? I'd sure like to hear the vocals on that one.
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Date #4: Andrea
Andrea C.: First out of towner (waaaay out of town) date for Bachelor Rickmeister.
Date Recap: It looks like since she had just arrived in L.A. two hours earlier and probably had no place for Bachelor Rick to pick her up, they decided to meet at their date destination. Drum roll, ready for this . . . the TV game show "Let's Make a Deal!" Woot woot! They appear to hit it off right away standing in line and delight in explaining to their line buddies that they are on a blind date and that Bachelor Rick is "The Mormon Bachelor!" I have to confess, that if I was standing in line waiting to be on a game show and the people in front of me said they were "The Muslim Bachelor" or "Methodist Bachelor" I would probably laugh and think they were cuckoo. Then again, did you see what the people behind them (and in front of them, for that matter) were wearing? Pretty sure they were cuckoo, too. So everyone is in good company. Moving on . . . Andrea pulls out "D.C./patriotic" gear for the two to costume up in. The tie-dye kinda hurts my eyes, but somehow with this date it doesn't seem to matter what they're wearing. They both seem to be quite enjoying each other, especially evidenced when even though they didn't make it on the show, they still walk out smiling and holding hands. Awwww. Their next stop is dinner at a local Mexican place where viewers learn that a sister of Andrea's actually applied for her to be on TMB. There's an interesting twist! The date ends with hugs and huge smiles from them both.
First Impression: Beautiful girl, great personality, seems quite "accomplished" as Bachelor Rick described and possibly even "stellar."It's always mind boggling that girls like this are still single. What is wrong with men?
Surprises: This girl seems a little too, how shall we say it, quality, successful, maybe even too NORMAL, to do something like this. But considering she didn't actually apply on her own to go out with Bachelor Rick, she could possibly be the best sport in history of this show. What's that you say, this show doesn't have much of a history? Whatever.
Second Date Potential: High but also low. Let me explain. Under normal circumstances, I don't know why Bachelor Rick wouldn't want to go out with this girl again. But these aren't normal circumstances. She lives in D.C. Would she fly out to L.A. again or would Bachelor Rickmeister take the giant leap across the whole of the United States to go out with her? What is Rick really willing to do for love?
TMB Excitement Level: Whoa. Off the charts. "Awesome, totally awesome" or something like that. To this point, he seems more enthused by this girl than any other so far and during his post-date interview he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. That's definitely a good feeling to have after a date.
Creativity Points: Gotta give her a 7 at least. Maybe an 8? First off, she flew 3000 miles to go out with the guy. Second, a TV game show? Who wouldn't love that?
Final Thoughts: This girl seems cool. Too cool for school. Too school for cool? Maybe too cool for Bachelor Rick? According to the comments people left under their date, apparently their next date has already been sponsored by a cake company in D.C. So, who wants to see Bachelor Rick make a real effort for love? Let's see how far he's willing to go for love--no pun intended (was that even a pun?)!
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
Date Recap: It looks like since she had just arrived in L.A. two hours earlier and probably had no place for Bachelor Rick to pick her up, they decided to meet at their date destination. Drum roll, ready for this . . . the TV game show "Let's Make a Deal!" Woot woot! They appear to hit it off right away standing in line and delight in explaining to their line buddies that they are on a blind date and that Bachelor Rick is "The Mormon Bachelor!" I have to confess, that if I was standing in line waiting to be on a game show and the people in front of me said they were "The Muslim Bachelor" or "Methodist Bachelor" I would probably laugh and think they were cuckoo. Then again, did you see what the people behind them (and in front of them, for that matter) were wearing? Pretty sure they were cuckoo, too. So everyone is in good company. Moving on . . . Andrea pulls out "D.C./patriotic" gear for the two to costume up in. The tie-dye kinda hurts my eyes, but somehow with this date it doesn't seem to matter what they're wearing. They both seem to be quite enjoying each other, especially evidenced when even though they didn't make it on the show, they still walk out smiling and holding hands. Awwww. Their next stop is dinner at a local Mexican place where viewers learn that a sister of Andrea's actually applied for her to be on TMB. There's an interesting twist! The date ends with hugs and huge smiles from them both.
First Impression: Beautiful girl, great personality, seems quite "accomplished" as Bachelor Rick described and possibly even "stellar."It's always mind boggling that girls like this are still single. What is wrong with men?
Surprises: This girl seems a little too, how shall we say it, quality, successful, maybe even too NORMAL, to do something like this. But considering she didn't actually apply on her own to go out with Bachelor Rick, she could possibly be the best sport in history of this show. What's that you say, this show doesn't have much of a history? Whatever.
Second Date Potential: High but also low. Let me explain. Under normal circumstances, I don't know why Bachelor Rick wouldn't want to go out with this girl again. But these aren't normal circumstances. She lives in D.C. Would she fly out to L.A. again or would Bachelor Rickmeister take the giant leap across the whole of the United States to go out with her? What is Rick really willing to do for love?
TMB Excitement Level: Whoa. Off the charts. "Awesome, totally awesome" or something like that. To this point, he seems more enthused by this girl than any other so far and during his post-date interview he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. That's definitely a good feeling to have after a date.
Creativity Points: Gotta give her a 7 at least. Maybe an 8? First off, she flew 3000 miles to go out with the guy. Second, a TV game show? Who wouldn't love that?
Final Thoughts: This girl seems cool. Too cool for school. Too school for cool? Maybe too cool for Bachelor Rick? According to the comments people left under their date, apparently their next date has already been sponsored by a cake company in D.C. So, who wants to see Bachelor Rick make a real effort for love? Let's see how far he's willing to go for love--no pun intended (was that even a pun?)!
So, are we dead on, or dead wrong? What do you think?
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